When Will Evening Come

Another short haiku.

When will evening come

To end my mourning, or the

Dawn to end this night?

Author's Note

This kind of wrote itself, I loved this idea myself.
Enjoy!

Reviews

[Frieda P]

Oh this is sheer perfection...and my sentiments exactly.

[Tai Ryens]

I thank you kindly.

[Baby Ricochet]

Hey Tai you didn't finish writing this one

[Tai Ryens]

Haha! maybe I'll use the concept in a future poem or something.

[K-mo]

short and sweet, kind of sad but happy in a way. a great piece that makes me think!

[Jolie Blossom]

ooooh, very nice. it reminds me of a never ending thought, or state of grief.

[demureminds]

Such an amazing concept you have here! I like the cycle of wanting evening to come when its day and dawn when its night, it's like the time just isn't on your side.

[Tomislav Petricevic]

Awesome! I like it how you combined the imagery with emotions to make a strong impact on the reader.
Keep it up!

[Owlgirl]

Awesome message portrayed within a few lines, it powerfully sends emotions off the page and into the mind. Also amazing word choices, especially the word "mourning", it fits with the time-of-day theme. Keep on writing! :)

[Michael G.]

Ryan, you are using your mind well, sir.

Let your thoughts flow free, no matter where they take you...be brave and pen them.

[Clockwork]

I liked how you used the word mourning in this poem. I think that it really sets up that play between emotion and the times of day. We get a sense that the struggle of the speaker has been long and dark. There is a sense of tension that comes from that word which translates into a sense of yearning for the light of dawn. I am fond of this haiku.