Beneath an Umbrella

Beneath an Umbrella

A Poem by Tai Ryens
"

While I stood worthless as your tears fell . . .

"

Rain drizzles from the clouds;

foggy, distant, clogging the sunlight,

crafted of tears from faceless crowds


that mourned their feeble blight

inherited from their parents',

as cancer or diabetes might.


Yet you longed for their hollow bliss

from atop the throne in a heavenly hell,

while we so ironically worshiped your glints.


While I stood beneath an'mbrella, worthless, as your tears fell.

© 2012 Tai Ryens


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Nice. I subscribed to your writing. I think that means you're work shows up in my rr file. I hope so.

Posted 11 Years Ago


This is a delightful albeit solemn read...I enjoyed it.

Posted 11 Years Ago


"while we so ironically worshiped your glints.

While I stood beneath a 'mbrella, worthless, as your tears fell." Repetitive use of "while".... maybe "as" for one? Not sure... just know it cause a stumble in my reading. Other than that, it's looks pretty good. Made me think of a rainy funeral and the droplets as the mourner's tears. Love!

Posted 11 Years Ago


Tai Ryens

11 Years Ago

Repetition of 'while' was intended for greater impact (or at least to myself) and the 'mbrella part .. read more
That_Girl

11 Years Ago

I caught onto the askew "umbrella" but not the intentional repetition. Good poem nonetheless!

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3 Reviews
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Added on December 14, 2012
Last Updated on December 14, 2012
Tags: love

Author

Tai Ryens
Tai Ryens

Bay Area, CA



About
I must start that I am not as active as I should be on this site, though I do tend to drop by every now and then and review what I can from friends and those whose works I enjoy. Currently, I am dippi.. more..

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