Wonderland

Could a mother's love be measured?

Scarlet petals lay

beside crumpled

ligaments wrapped

by fine layers of cloth;

frost teardrops rain

down her cheeks as

she cradles her disheveled

mess of a human being;

her dear sun . . .

son?

Exasperated eyelids

clamp down; for in

darkness she sees dreams

of her shattered heart

fragments sewing back

together.

Believing her departed

baby returned to stop her

grieving; she halted weeping

by closing reality and

entered wonderland

where he has revived;

reaching out a bloodied

hand to rub away tears

that stained her eyes.

But it was only an

illusion.

Author's Note

No one wants to know how this poem originally started, I swear . . .
Photo courtesy of BeatrizMartinVidal on Deviant Art.

Reviews

[K.G]

this is. . .*jaw dropped and got lost somewher*, i especially love how u formed the lines and stanzas

[Sky]

This is nice, melancholy. It tells a story.

[Tree]

Very cool Tai. Your imagery is always interesting. Kinda forces the reader
to see what you see even though he/she might wince. Something else
caught me here (something I do sometimes) is let your words/ speech Fall
off a cliff, taking the reader with you. Well done.

[lee von cleef]

how much story you punch into a short space. wow.

[Lina Grey]

This is so beautiful in a melancholy way. I like how you changed sun to son, as if to show how important the baby was to his mother and how much she loved him. A very heartfelt piece. Thank you.

[demureminds]

Okay so I read the comment below, and really you're only 13? haha. Your writing seems to soar above that, you appear older... Anyway I liked this, distressful, but endearing. Well penned.

[Tai Ryens]

Indeed I am only thirteen, and I thank you kindly for the review~

[Baby Ricochet]

Holy crap bro. Are you sure you're only 13 cause jeez is your poerty ever heavy. Everything I read by you is like really intense and f**king brilliant. It's some of the best stuff I've seen on this site. When I was 13 my life's ambition was to touch girls b***s. I couldn't have written something as good as this. I'm not sure I could write something this good now. Tia my boy, you are a prodigy.

[Tai Ryens]

Your comments always make me chuckle; hehe . . . Thanks.

[Summer'sBreeze]

Wow, Tai, this is truely amazing.
A write well done. :)

[Aehr]

just plain awesome!