Unfamiliar

Will my leaves ever grow again?

Rotting leaves shrivel

from olden branches;

similar to falling petals

of what was once in bloom.

Browning foliage splicing

into flurrying memories;

whiffing apart from languishing

bark.  Perhaps crimping skin.

 

Leaf by leaf, every

petal falls into oblivion:

until neither corroding wood

nor moldering epidermis

is familiar to faces in the mirror.

Author's Note

I do feel as if I had been quite vague when writing this (I did have a certain mental illness in mind when reading this), so if anybody could recognize what I speak of; feel free to phrase it below. I am curious to see if I was slightly too vague when doing this.
One more thing, I'd like some constructive criticism on this; as I am attempting a somewhat new writing style. If you do so, I thank you kindly.

Reviews

[eeoopig]

I didn't find this vague: it's actually pretty good :) I don't mind this type of writing at all, so if you want to write like this in the future, go straight ahead! It was a very interesting poem

[Rhianne Ney]

It's inspiring and meaningful I like the way you expressed it (:

[The Scholar]

It wasn't too vague at all, nicely-written! Interesting metaphor for the degrading of one's mind.

It's funny how so many things in the world are connecting.. very zen-like thought... sorry, that's just my musings.

Well-written piece. As always, a pleasure reading.

[Tai Ryens]

Indeed, I find it enticing as well.

[Becky]

As always, your writing is elegant and brilliant. Great work, not too vague at all.

The way it flowed did seem a little choppy, but rather than annoy me, it actually added to the effect (assuming you are talking about Alzheimers, as I and everyone else seems to think) since it follows the process of someone with the disease more. I feel that for a different theme, though, it might not work as well. I'll be interested to see where you go with the style, though. Nice work overall.

[Extant]

Alzheimer's, I believe.
Not too vague, I found it very provocative and enrapturing. The images were just brilliant, Ryan, especially the last. Our life is like a summer, until Autumn comes to the doorsteps of our eyes and weasels into our minds, stealing our memories to be banished to the frozen wasteland of death. [This sounds very malicious. . . ]
As far as the style goes, it is freestyle (?), but you do keep a good rhythm. I think this is a much more polished piece of writing, I dearly love it for all of it's depth. I'll say it simply depends on what you want to portray and do with your new style.

[Tai Ryens]

I do thank you kindly for your review; as I admire each and every one of your critiques.
Yes, it is freestyle.

[Extant]

You're welcome.

[nigrum homonculus]

now this is something.....the metaphor for the degradation of ones mind is simply genius. i had to read it a couple of times to really tackle the understanding....that's not your fault, i was reading this at 3:30am while working on something else. to me it seems like you are quite comfortable with this new writing style. its very good. well done and keep at it!

[afra]

wow i loved the writing style ..and i loved the poem ...well done

[Knight in Armor]

This is possibly your best work to date, Tai. You're steadily improving as a writer! However, you seem to mix the metaphor of the dying tree and the declining person with that of a wilting flower. In my humble opinion, it might help to pick one metaphor and stick with it.

[Tai Ryens]

Hm, true. I shall keep that in mind as I write in the future.

[demureminds]

Is it Alzheimers? How the memories sort of escape like the leaves & petals? Haha I don't know.
It is a bit vague but it makes you think and I kind of like that.

[Lost in Wonderland]

It was very vuagely written, though it is a nice metaphor. I feel like you could give us a few more hints. Lovely idea though, I'm excited to see how you branch out in this new style!
God bless