Hypochondriac

Hypochondriac

A Poem by J.M. Barrett
"

This is me.

"


I'm afraid to see the doctor

I'm afraid of what he'll say

I woke up with the sniffles

And a slight headache today


I think it's a tumor 

But I also have strep throat

Could it be, I'm getting sicker?

Is it cancer, AIDS, or both!?


There's a tingle in my fingers

I think It might be diabetes

But I'm also two days late

Am I carrying a dead fetus!?


I think I might go blind

I have not taken my B12

Things have seemed a little blurry

It's neurological, I can tell!


I googled all my symptoms

I clicked on Web MD

It brought me to this list

Of everything that it can be


So much I've not considered

Now I'm really getting worried

Please don't be ALS!

Before I'm 30 I'll be buried!


Are my words a little slurred?

I had a stroke last night

There was a twitch in my left arm

And my heart did not feel right


I'm really worried 'bout this cough

I've had it for a day

It could be chronic bronchitis 

If it does not go away


Is it normal feeling dizzy?

I've been somewhat fatigued

I've narrowed all my symptoms

To these possibilities:


Hypoglycemia

GERD, ADHD

Asthma, Sleep Apnea

and Parkinson's Disease


I'm afraid to see a doctor

Though I know just what he'll say

He'll tell me nothings wrong

I won't believe him anyway

© 2011 J.M. Barrett


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Reviews

It's sad that people live their life like that.

Posted 13 Years Ago


Whimsical and fun, this piece was a great joy to read. It was fun, tightly written, very concise, and full of smiles. The last stanza was ridiculously great. Excellent job!!

Posted 14 Years Ago


Amazing! I guess we all start out as hypochondriacs at school!
The rhyme was consistently good. I had a great time reading this poem, and not just because of the fact that I'm currently studying medicine!
Great job!

Posted 14 Years Ago


Wow. That was amazing. I laughed out loud to tell the truth because my mom is always joking that my little sister is a hypochondriac.

Posted 14 Years Ago


As long as you don't have to get a shot. I liked this lighthearted stab at how the mind get to rolling when even the slightest thing is wrong with us. I think there is a little hypochondriac in all of us. sniffle....here we go.

Posted 14 Years Ago


Outstanding!
Very light-hearted and comical ( I apologize if this offends anyone; don't mean to ridicule the condition). I never thought I would come across a poem about hypochondriacs and it be so well written. Kudos to you!

Nicely done.

Posted 14 Years Ago


A light-hearted view on a serious condition ironically concerning serious conditions. It flows nicely.

Posted 14 Years Ago


Very good flow. I loved this piece! The rhyme scheme is perfect! I also liked how you've captured a feeling of paranoia into the humors light poem you've written!

Posted 14 Years Ago


This is absolutely brilliant. It is funny, and exactly what I would imagine a hypochondriac goes through in their mind. To a lesser extent, it's also what I go through, over-analysing symptoms and worrying more than I need to, so it should have wide appeal (29 reviews so far, I think that's an established fact).

I'm not sure what else I can contribute that hasn't already been said. I'm giving this the highest equal rating of any poem I've read on this site, and added it to my library.

Posted 14 Years Ago


Wow! The line about Web MD is EPIC! My wife is obsessed with self-diagnosing, even after she sees a doctor. What a fantastically thoughtful and funny write! But honestly this is a sickness... LoL

Posted 14 Years Ago



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1922 Views
37 Reviews
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Shelved in 7 Libraries
Added on May 18, 2010
Last Updated on June 9, 2011

Author

J.M. Barrett
J.M. Barrett

Spring Hill, FL



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