Brian's Song

I am currently writing a screenplay, but my personal process is to write pieces in story format first. This is the first scene that really struck me hard in my piece, though it fits in the middle.

“Bryan. Bryan come back,” she yelled, “Are you ok?”

 

“Yeah. Yeah I’m fine Mags,” he managed to stammer out, “I just needed a little bit a fresh air. Probably just my allergies getting the better of me, that’s all.”

 

“Are you sure? You practically ran over the ultra sound tech as you headed out the door. You’d think for a guy who writes some of the most graphic horror novels out there, you’d be able to handle a simple ultra sound picture,” Maggie teased.

 

“Ha…yeah…you’d think.” Brian said

 

“Why don’t you come back in so I can finish my appointment, and then we’ll go meet up with Darren for dinner.”

 

“I don’t think so.” Brian said, “I’d rather just head on home, honestly.”

 

“Ok Bryan,” she began, “what’s really the bigger issue here? You’ve been acting weird for the past month. Something is going on with you. Both Darren and I have been getting pretty worried. “

 

“Really I’m fine.” He stated.

 

“Bryan,” she paused, “Come on. You’re my best friend. We’ve been friends for over ten years now. I know you better than anyone.”

 

“Obviously not well enough,” Bryan muttered.

 

“What did you say?” She asked.

 

“Nothing.” He stated

 

“Bryan…” Maggie trailed off.

 

“What do you want me to say, Mags?”

 

“Tell me what’s going on.” She said.

 

“Mags, it’s been ten years,” he paused, “an entire ten years, if you haven’t figured it out by now, you are either stupid, which I know otherwise,” he caught his breath, “or you are just incredibly naïve.”

 

“Excuse you?” she snapped.

 

“Come on Mags.” Bryan said exasperated, “for someone who claims to know me so incredibly well, it amazes me how little you do really know.”

 

“What the hell are you trying to say Bryan? I am starting to get really sick of this ‘talking around the point’ kind of thing we have going on here.”

 

“Well you know what I’m sick of?!” Bryan snapped back, “This! This whole damn thing!”

 

“This whole thing?” She questioned.

 

“Yes.” He stated, “This whole thing of me living,” Bryan paused, “this whole thing of me living specifically, just for you. It’s all about you. It always has been…” His words trailed off.

 

“What…?”

 

“Mags, you are so much more than just ‘my best friend’. You always have been. From the moment I met you, you have always been my sun, my moon,” he took a breath, “My everything, and you never even noticed it.”

 

“Bryan…I’m married now…I…”

 

“You don’t think I know that?!” he snapped. “I was your God Damned ‘Maid of Honor’ for Christ sake. And because your own father couldn’t be bothered enough to be there, I walked you down the isle! I’m the one who ‘gave you away’! So don’t you tell me that you’re married, because I of all people know that good and well.”

 

“I don’t know what to say.” Maggie breathed out.

 

“Funny isn’t it? The fact that ‘Magdalena; The Great Indie Flick Actress’, is now at a loss for words when the truth comes out. So you want to know why I left? Why as soon as I saw that little heart beat on the screen, I ran out like I was in some sort of marathon, Because my heart stopped beating.” He stopped briefly, “And don’t look at me like that. It’s not the fact that you’re pregnant at all. Honestly I couldn’t be happier for you. The part that I cannot stand knowing is the fact that the little one in there, is not mine, and it could never be mine…” Bryan paused again, “because as much it kills me to admit to myself, you were never mine, and you will never be mine.”

 

“Why didn’t you ever tell me? You’ve always dated. God Bryan, your bedroom practically has a revolving door. How did you expect me to know, especially with you always being in some form of ‘relationship’.” Maggie said

 

“Mind numbing sex is anything but a relationship Mags. I suppose a part of me believed that if I had enough of it, eventually I would be iced over to you. But damn my luck…it only forced my feelings for you even more. Every one of them just reminded me of how they would never be you.” Bryan said.

 

“Bryan…I love Darren…you are my best friend, but I could never love you like I love him.” Maggie said, “If you truly felt that way, why did you even introduce us? You are the reason we are together in the first place.” She pointed out.

 

“No s**t Mags.” Bryan snapped, “I got sick of you dating pricks, and Darren was actually a nice guy. So what did my dumb f**k self do? God I practically put you on a silver platter for him!” He said aggressively. “But do you know the worst part, Mags? Do you understand the really screwed up part of all of this?!”

 

“Wha…What?” Maggie stammered out.

 

“He’s exactly like me! Darren is practically my twin in every way!” Bryan yelled. “Yet you still picked him. I was standing in front of you the entire time, but I still wasn’t good enough.” Bryan laughed out, “Wait. I know it now. I know the difference between us, between Darren and I.”

 

“And what would that be?”

 

“I never had the f*****g balls to tell you I loved you. There’s the difference for you.” Bryan said. “Instead, no matter how bad it hurt, I gave you up. And now here you are, married, and pregnant.  But I’m not your guy, and that…” He choked out, “That is not my baby.”

 

“Bryan I’m…I’m sorry,” Maggie said.

 

“No,” Bryan interrupted, “I’m going to stop you right there Mags. Right f*****g there. Don’t you dare say you are sorry, and don’t you dare try to apologize for anything, because no matter how masochistic it may be of me, the truth is, I loved every minute of it. Every slap in the face, and every time you chipped away a bit more of what used to be my heart, I still adored it. You could rip my heart out of my chest, and yes you have many times, but I’d still force my body to regenerate another one just so you could do it again. Even if it would only make you smile, believe me, I’d still f*****g do it.”

 

“But why?” Maggie questioned.

 

“Because Mags, even though it ripped me to shreds to see you smile with someone else, someone that was not me, it was still better than wondering if you were smiling when I wasn’t there. I live for you, I breathe for you, and yes each and every day, I die for you. I always will. And today was the last straw.” He paused briefly, “I cannot be around you anymore Mags, it’s going to hurt more than I’ve ever known, and yeah it just could possibly be the death of me, but whether you mean to or not I cannot take any more of your beatings. I’d rather die. Just know that I wish you the best, I just simply cannot do this anymore. It’s time for me to suck it up, and put on my big guy pants, no matter how uncomfortable those b*****s are.”

 

“Bryan wait!” Maggie yelled. “Don’t go!” she cried out.

 

“Thank you Mags. May I have another?” he muttered under his breath.