Sick Of Fighting

I did this for a challenge I once entered on a different website this is the brief I was given- the subject of war and military, the name Eli and this one sentence "Eli is sick of fighting"

The sound of guns and bombs echoed over head, while the sound of swords and other hand weapons clashed around about. Eli ducked an oncoming attack skilfully, wrapping a strong arm around his assailant so he called pull him close for a final attack. Crushing his throat until the other man passed out in his arms, Eli sank his fangs in deep, draining enough blood to kill only, before dropping him to the body littered floor. The fighting continued in much the same manner until a loud horn sounded letting them know dawn would soon be arriving.

Vampires started to disappear, teleporting away to their various homes. Were-wolves in various states of transformation- from human to full wolf and every state in between fled the battlefield to the woods and their camps.

Exhaustedly, Eli teleported straight to his bed and collapsed dirty and breathless. This war was pointless and he was sick of fighting. Although he didn’t personally know any werewolves-he believed that they were simple a different race that shouldn’t be persecuted for their differences. It was all the princes’ fault for falling in love with one which had outraged the king and queen on both sides that they had declared war on each other. Hundreds had died already including the werewolf princess who had been mobbed by a group of vampires and killed gradually.

Eli’s grandparents had been the ones who had encouraged and eventually made vampires stop killing humans or other immortals for food, something werewolves had accomplished long before and they now relied on synthesized blood or animals. But the war had unearthed the worse side in them all. He wished they were still the civilised advanced people they had become instead of the killers they were now.

Sleep came slowly as he was hyped up on bad blood. He tossed and turned through the night, sleeping occasionally and dreaming blood drenched dreams.

Morning came too soon and all able troops were called to the front line directly. Battle commenced again. Old and new weaponry clashed loudly, along with hand to hand combat. Eli hated war. Pushing his dark hair of his sweaty forehead and away from his red tinted eyes, Eli lunged for the nearest werewolf. This one had tawny fur and evil piercing yellow eyes. Both discarded weapons in favour of physical strength and grabbled wildly trying to overcome each other. Before he knew it Eli found himself on his back. Straddled by the sneering werewolf and his arms restrained above his head, Eli watched, unable to look away as a silver knife plunged towards his heart.

 

‘This is it,’ he thought, ‘I don’t have to fight any more.’

Author's Note

tell me what you think... be honest and don't hold back :D jules x

Reviews

[Twilight]

Well, many of your descriptions are very vivid and concise. Also, this has been carefully written. If you had not been describing a battle situation, some longer and more descriptive lines may have helped. However, in this scenario, shorter sentences and no ambiguous meanings help to make it more dramatic! Indeed, in my experience, scenes of action or combat, are more powerful, when written that way. This really was interesting to read, thankyou! Also, I am surprised, that so few others have reviewed this story!

It may be worth joining the "Beyond Fantasy" Group on this site, where our members share similar stories and poems? I have been a member of that Group, for quite a while. Like the other Groups on this site, it also includes a Forum, where you can post messages and even create discussions of your own! Thankyou, for entering my latest Contest!

[lou lou]

this hold so much feeling. very good.

[River]

Jewel this is amazing! I love it :D I now know what River and Hope meant when they were telling me how talented you were. They were 132% right :D I love how detailed and (this will sound corny but you have to live with it because it's MY review I'm just sharing it with you lol) how I actually got sad when I was reading it. Hope had to lean over and see what I was doing.
Well I've gotta pay attention to choir now...only because River's singing :) love you Jewel!
~ Lil Briar aka Ryan

[Dylan I. Cree]

There are a few grammatical errors that are easily fixed. The feeling was amazing and intense. I enjoyed reading this, although you could take it further. You may want to expand this into more of a three part story, where it ends not in death but in peace or something different. However the way you ended it was fine. It was short, simple, and to the point. Very descriptive. All and all I liked it very much. Keep at it.

[Aiden- Aiko- Kiyomi]

Wow. That was definitely a good read. It was very thoughtful in the sense that the character was plagued with emotions and that death was his refuge from fighting. I liked it. Good luck in the contest.