Chapter 1- Introductions

meet mel and some others

The restaurant vibrated with the hustle and bustle of people. Voices seemed to rise higher and higher until melody found her head spinning and that she was finding it hard to hear herself think. Her manager waved her over to a new large group of people who had just been seated. It was a large group of jocks in hockey jerseys or sweatshirts and jeans surrounded by various bimbos in short skirts and low tops. ‘Rink bunnies’ was the term she believed was applicable if the men were part of a hockey team and the girls their groupies. Melody didn’t know much more about hockey though other than there were often lots of injuries. Standing by their table she looked at the various bruises, grazes and broken noses and waited for them to notice her. One of them, the only one without injuries so perhaps he didn’t play hockey watched her silently his silver grey eyes captivating her.

“Hey babe,” one of the others piped up, “We would like…” He reeled of a long order to her which Mel scribbled down as quickly as she could. A hand flashed out and slapped her on the a*s as she turned away making her jump. Melody scowled at the group over her shoulder. The jocks just laughed loudly while some of the bunnies tittered along or scowled jealously back at her.

Handing the order over to the kitchen, Melody waited at the bar, yawning tiredly and running a hand through her tousled curls before tying her hair up again, for the drinks to be done. Returning to the table she reeled of the list of drinks, handing them out when each person said ‘me’. The majority was cheap bottled beer or cokes and lemonades. But the glass was simply tap water the healthiest order especially considering they all took part in sports she believed. It belonged to the silver eyed guy in the corner of the large booth. He was still staring at her from underneath his messy black hair. Melody wanted to shiver under the intensity of his gaze but she suppressed it and walked away to serve another table. Flitting between the various tables through out the night she had been able to push the strange guy to the back of her mind. That was until she brought them the bill and one of the jocks nearest her wrapped a burly arm around her waist and tried to pull her into his lap. His breath stank of beer and Melody struggled to get away.

“Leave her alone Tony can’t you see she isn’t interested.” Came a crisp firm voice quietly from the corner. The oaf holding her grunted and released her slowly, running a hand lingeringly over her thigh. Free, Melody shot the guy with black hair and the disturbing eyes a grateful smile. He simply stared back at her unblinkingly and continued to speak, “Besides her breasts are too small.”

The whole group laughed. Mel left quickly, her cheeks burning, taking the tray of money with her, they had tipped her pathetically.

~

Melody hurried up the small, cramped and dirty staircase to her flat. It was dark and smelly and she spent as little time out there as she could. Struggling to open the door with its stiff lock and her hands full with her handbag and doggie bag from work Melody tumbled gratefully into the apartment. It was paint a soft eggshell blue with simple dark wood furniture and although it was only small it was home to Mel. The apartment was just two rooms; a larger kitchen, living room and bedroom in one and a tiny bathroom with just a shower, toilet and sink. Exhaustedly Mel slumped down on the settee and tipped the doggie bag onto a plate wolfing down its contents while it was still warm. It didn’t take long for her to fall asleep, curled up on the sofa still in her clothes too tired to even unfold the sofa bed. It wasn’t an easy life but if she didn’t look after herself no-one else would.

~

Waking up late, Melody was cramped and cold as she leaped in and out of the equally cold shower. Leaving her blonde hair damp and curling around her shoulders she hurried to catch the subway to her other job. It was Saturday morning and at the weekend she was the nanny for the Hudson’s son and daughter while the full time nanny had the weekends off. The Hudson's were both lawyers and paid her well to travel to their large house in the suburbs and take their children out for them. Cal and Beth Hudson were seven and five and spoilt rotten and hated to do what they were told. But Melody loved them just as she loved all children and she had gradually gained their respect.

“Good morning Mr and Mrs Hudson,” Melody greeted the family as she walked into the kitchen through the side entrance she always used.

“Good morning Miss James,” they replied purely out of manners. She had asked them to call her Melody but Mr Hudson had bluntly told her it wasn’t professional. Mrs Hudson informed her that Beth and Cal were already getting their coats and gloves and shoes on and that they expected Melody to take the pair ice skating as it was time they learnt. Melody blanched but agreed with a fixed smile. They had to learn? How, when she had never learnt herself because she had no-one to take her? Well, she thought trying to be positive, there was a first time for everything.

Author's Note

just be honest about what you think :D

Reviews

[Natalie Wisecraft]

I think the story line is great so far. Your descriptions of places (the restaurant and the flat) gave me a really clear view of what they looked like, and how Melody felt about them.

There are just a few things I think you need to work on. Proofreading this would work wonders for you. I think the best way to do this is to sit down and read your story out loud. That way, you'll be able to tell where the story doesn't flow properly, and what parts could be distracting for the reader to try to understand.

But, overall, great job! You really captivated me, and I want to keep reading to find out more about Melody!

[Kanattas Atir Enomo]

love it love it love it!!! i dont think the grammatical errors were that big of a deal, but u've made a fan out of me! u should finish your books/stories and think about getting them published. they'll be flying of the shelves like hot cakes

[Ross Saunders]

Interesting so far. You've got a good tone here, although I think you could stand to be a bit more indepth with your descriptions. A good start though.

[Cody Wiggins]

Honestly i mean i like all stories but action is what i read the most. Though there is no action it is still really good.

[Rima]

I like the story, the detail, the description and thec characters. That was great
but there grammatical errors, do a quick proofread and read the story aloud
nice job

[X_Emo_Princess_X]

This has a good storyline. your grammar is off and the first time you said Melody the 'm' was not capitalized. it has potential though and has a good start.

[nora]

hm. first, i think the name melody is really cute :) but i dont really know how old she is? maybe i missed it when i was reading or something.
haha, i loved the 'runk bunnies' nickname xD that was great. and i thought every single one of those guys at the table was awful. even the guy with the silver eyes. the breast comment just made me so mad, because since when is it okay for guys to make nasty comments like that?! and i know, they do it all the time :/ it just really pisses me off.
anyway, it's a really good chapter, up until the very end. it just feels like you tried to squish too much information into two paragraphs, you know? other than that, i cant wait to read more!