Transformation : pg 10

   The healer noticed certain changes within Versai. Versai worked happily to finish his chores knowing that he’ll see Serene soon. Seeing him so cheerful further angered the doctor. One day while Versai was whistling as he mopped the floor, the healer out of desperation asked Versai “Doesn’t anything ever make you want to cry?”

Versai gave him a strange look and simply said “Boys don’t cry.” and he went back to mopping the floor.

The healer at this point couldn’t take it anymore and out of fury he grabbed the boy’s shoulders and shook him “WHY NOT!!? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?”

Versai was now very much frightened by the healer and didn’t know how to react to his questions. The kind healer that he always knew seemed to have transformed into something else. “Why is he asking me that? He was once a boy too, he should know that boys don’t cry.”

“ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME??!!” screamed the healer.

Versai said “I don’t understand….but please try to calm down. If you don’t be careful you’re going to slip on the wa….” But before he could finish his sentence, it already happened.

        The healer while he was shaking Versai, accidentally knocked the water bucket over with the mop, slipped on the water, and fell all the way down the stairs! Versai was astonished as he stared at unconscious healer bleeding on the floor.

Author's Note

how is the dialogue?

Reviews

[Theresa]

Again there is nothing wrong with the dialogue. It's realistic as well. I noticed many times when people try to write dialogue it comes across as robotic in a way and yours isn't like that. It's more natural which is perfect. I liked the little bit of action and drama in this chapter it spices things up.