Missing Her

Two poems about my grandmother that passed in 2005. My best friend.

Miss you more than words can say

Miss you every single day

Playing cards or eating out

On a beautiful day or a storms about

Simple things that I need to do

Bring about missing you

PB 6/7/08

 

 

What would we be today if there were no you

To guide and push and see us through

Is that what God had planned for you

You stood firm and proud and true

It seems that no one else really knew

What you meant to three kids

That got thrown on you

PB 6/6/08

Reviews

[Adrian K. Smith]

First on the second, I liked how neither the rhyme no the break in rhyme distracted from it. It flowed as a unified statement, and it flowed well.

Second on the first, I admit I tripped on the language.

"On a beautiful day or a storms about" tripped me. It may be a colloquialism, and it is not something that I am not familiar with; it just... hrmm. I carried the On from the first to the second. On a storms about. That caused me to wonder why I did that. Thinking about that, distracted me from it as I got caught up in the language. I saw the second "a" and believed it was case of trying to form a pattern. Since "On" came before the first "a", it would come before the second "a". When I changed it to read:

On a beautiful day or with storms about.

I no longer tried to apply "On" after the "or", but that did not feel right. I began to realize that I am most likely just tired, and that I was spending entirely too much thought on something minor.

It was a pained reflection upon how much she had been a part of your life, and that was quite evident.

[jen -- JG]

A beautiful tribute for a well loved lady.

The first poem shows how the simple things in life can hold the most meaning. No matter what you are doing, playing cards, eating out, if the weather is fine or stormy, she is with you. She was so much a part of your life and so close to you that every thing you do reminds you of her. She is still with you - she may have gone from this earth, but she lives on in your heart and mind.

Your second poem shows the love she had for you all. For whatever reason, you three kids were alone and she took you in, loved and cared for you, if some ways became a 'mother figure" guiding and protecting you, even though no one else seemed to know or care what doing this may have cost her.

Thank you for sharing these special poems with us. She was one well loved lady.

(((((hugs)))))

jen

[Windy]

Wonderful tribute. great write, loved the feeling put into it.

[Lindsey:)]

i really like this one.
short ad simple. but yet it gets to the point.
i see what you mean about short is better.
thanks so much for the reviews.
veryone has inspired me so much to keep on writing!
god bless.