Betrayed ~ Secretly... You Can't Play With My Heart

 

                    Part One        

Secretly...

I see your eyes even though you’re not here

I feel the warmth of your body

though you’re not lying next to me

I feel your warm breath upon my face

your lips faintly touching mine...

But you're far away

 

There are times you dominate my mind

even though I’m unwilling

to have you enter my space

I’ve tried very hard to forget you

 

What did you ever give me?

What did you do to me

to think I could love you again...still?

 

You gave so little of yourself

Do you ever think you could have given more?

Take a look around you you’re still alone...

still searching for that someone

I wanted you to take my hand

Lead the way, hold me close

Take my fear away

You betrayed me so many times

coming close …

then far away

 

Why should I have trusted you again

when you left me alone the first time?

Was I only good for you...

when there was no one else?

Because that's how it felt

 

I mailed your ring back the first time

I didn't want to keep the memory

Like I said, it was no easy task

letting you go

 

The pain was just too much

The betrayal, the fear, my broken heart

I couldn't allow you to hurt me again

 

You see, it was always just about "YOU"

What you wanted, what you felt, what you liked

You wouldn't even let me wear a life jacket

on your boat, because somehow...

it seemed to threaten your selfish ego

thinking I didn't trust your ability to drive your boat

Well...guess what?

It wasn't about you.

It was about my fear because I con't swim

I ask...

is that love?      

     

                              Part Two ~ 3 years later

 

Once again you promised love

You gave me back the ring

You proposed...

   Again

I accepted...

   Again

 

Then my terror set in

Afraid it would be like the first time

You see, delusion is no longer my reality

The wounds... just too consuming

My heart couldn't trust

There was too much worry...

just too much

_____________________

 

This time I kept your ring

Sold it to a pawnshop

You needed to learn your lesson

You can't play with my heart...

Not any more

 

I just wanted to say ...

My last, sad goodbye

 

_________________________________________________________________________________

Author's Note

"Raindrops pouring water
Surrounding me in its sadness
Washing away all of the memories
And replace my soul with sorrow.
It sings a melancholy song
Of lost hope and disappearing dreams
Goals that were never reached,
And the failures of our kind.
I lift my face to the darkened sky
Watching the rain slide down my face
Staring into emptiness
And wondering why I live a life
So far from so many others
And in desolation without love"

At times, I'm sure we all feel the pangs of love, lost love, un-returned love, bad love, selfish love. Oh for those so lucky to have found true love...I bless you all, cound your many blessings and always tell them how much you love them...every day in every way... you never know what may come

Reviews

[Marie Harrison]

Betrayal is a bitter pill to swallow
people only understand the pain
when they've felt it themselves.
Glad she stood up for herself in
the end.