Choices

And she stands there on the cold floor

on this quiet evening in her house.

The liquor cabinet is wide open and 

her hand firmly grasps the door.

She weighs all her options 

as her eyes wander the shelves.

All she sees is Captain Moronic

moving into Jack Disappointment 

and finishing the night off with her favorite.

Absolute Idiot.

Yet this is not enough.

She is not good enough.

She needs something more.

He sits there with a loaded pistol on the floor

and his finger is barely touching the trigger.

The gun is cold and black

like the feelings he has in his heart, nevermore.

The emptiness of his head consumes him 

and he feels a natural high.

The pistol lays in his lap

and mocks him.

It wants to be used.

He knows how great the bullet will feel.

Yet this is not enough.

He is not good enough.

He needs something more.

I lay on the bathroom floor

with bottles of pills scattered around me.

The cabinet where they once sat 

is vacant and their place is just a memory of decor.

These little pills feel great

as I grasp them in my hand.

It is a comfort to know freedom is close

and I am almost home free.

My lips long for water and the pills

to slide down my hungry throat.

Yet this is not enough.

I am not good enough.

I need something more.

Reviews

This poem described the feeling of despair and the different was of vainly trying to fill the void that gnaws on you when you are down. I love how you took the names of different drinks and turned them into a perfect way of explaining how idiotic it is to try to drink away your pain. Kudos.

[An owl on the moon]

There is such a glimpse of darkness here, deep inside and moving powerfully. You provoke feelings of despair through the images we see.. and the emotions that pour forth. This is a brilliant blend of overwhelming grief and that desire to have something as yet beyond our grasp. Excellent write.

[Dennis Shanaberg]

Sorry I didn't get to this earlier. I've got about 100 requests haha.
But you know how that goes.

This is so dark and intense. It's filled with few actions but full emotion. The concept of suicide not being enough is an interesting one and I am trying to fully understand its meaning even as I write this. The implications of it make me question what the future of these individuals is.
My only criticism is Captain Moronic and friends. I like these, I really do, but it feels like they belong in a different poem. These plays on the names seem to be too lighthearted and playful. If say, the items in the other three stories had used similar wordplay then perhaps it would have fit better.
My only critique and perhaps that's just me. Overall though another amazing write. I have faith in you to continue to create greater and greater things. Keep it up.

[X]

ha, depression hurts man, i like how the ideas of suicide is not enough. that cuaght my attention. very good dudette

[Antonio Valentino]

Lindsay, wow, this is amazing writing, I totally loved it. You have some real talent, I hope you continue to write, your a natural.

Thanks for sharing, brilliant.
Antonio

[Aekmy]

Very dark and heartfelt. I love the form. It flows so well and the open ended story leaves room for imagination. (:

[Jonathan Ballam]

Tense and inspiring in a dark way. You capture the scene very well, and for a moment the hair on the back on my neck began to rise.

Just a thought does this poem really need those last two lines? To me it seemed like you were trying to pull the poem together in the end, instead of letting the mind of the reader explore the poem's idiosyncrasies.

However, this is was still a lightning read.

Kudos!

[Mistaken]

wow...this is very beautiful..i love it :)