Finding Jayne Chapter One

Amnesiac Jayne is set to leave the hospital with detective Peter Rossini, the only person who wants to help her and know about her strange dreams.

FINDING JAYNE

CHAPTER ONE

 

Drip, Drip, Drip, it’s raining. Every time I hear the rain it reminds me of the day. The day I woke up in a town I didn’t know, surrounded by people I didn’t know. Staring at the person in the mirror that I didn’t know. My name is Jayne, or at least that’s what I call myself now.

Six months ago the police found me wondering on the side of the road. No money, no memory, no identity. According to the police and doctors I have a severe case of amnesia, due to severe head trauma. I didn’t say a word for three months. I just wrote down words that ran through my head, and drew the images that would come into my mind at night.

So here I am at Lakeview psychiatric facility. Patient number 973547 Jayne Doe. Every morning I stare into the mirror. My long black hair tangled like my mind, my olive skin glows, but my brown eyes just stare back…empty. D****t! Who is this person? “Jayne”, “Jayne you have a visitor.” I turn my gaze away from the mirror. Detective Peter Rossini is standing in the doorway.

There’s something about Peter that comforts me, he makes me feel safe. I meet his hazel eyes, accompanied by a warm smile. His dark hair is soaked from the rain and rests just above his eyes. “ I hope you had a better day then me.” He says still smiling. “Judging by your appearance I would have to say yeah.” I reply beginning to smile myself. I remember the first time I met Peter. He was the lead detective on my case. He was also the only one who didn’t treat me like I was crazy. He tried so hard to help me find out who I was. He put my fingerprints through the system, nothing. Well at least I knew I wasn’t a criminal. They even compared dental records and got a match. Well sort of. “What do you mean there’s no information?” I remember Peter asking the other detective working on the case. “There’s nothing Peter, no address, no family, no job history, just a name and a picture Jayne Anderson. “ “ It’s like she just appeared out of nowhere, no past at all.” The detective said, puzzled. “Unfucking believable!” muttered Peter.

“Good news, the doctors say you’ve made a lot of progress and you are ready to go home.” Peter said as he gently brushed the raindrops off his face. “ I don’t have a home, remember. Where am I gonna go?” I asked. “ Well the doctors gave me a list of group homes that specialize in cases like yours.” “Great” I said. “ I get to live with other people who are just as crazy as me!” “ Your not crazy, and your not going to live there.” He said. I looked at him puzzled. “ Then where am I going?” I asked. “ I am taking you home with me, I promised you I would help you and I always keep my promises.” He said smiling. “Your crazier than I am.” I say jokingly. He smiles that warm smile. “ I will be here in the morning to pick you up, get some sleep.” I smile and say goodbye.

Sleep, yeah right I haven’t slept good since I got here. The images I see when I dream don’t make sense to me. They all feel so real. The weird thing is that I don’t dream about me, I dream about other people. I feel what they feel, its like they are trying to reach out to me. I have only told Peter about my dreams. He looked at me strangely , not like I was crazy but like he believed me. Anyone else would have locked me up forever. Peter arrives to pick me up the next morning. “ Are you ready?” “ Ready as I’ll ever be.” I say with an uneasy smile. As we walk out of the hospital my mind begins to calm for the first time. It’s raining outside again and for the first time things begin to fall into place, as I watch the raindrops fall from the sky.

Author's Note

please bear with the format i am having computer issues. this is my first attempt at fiction fantasy so any feedback is great. its a rough copy and it is a bit choppy but i do plan on editing it.

Reviews

[bluessadmood]

This is very nice,i have known these cases of amnesia ,either by some shock ,emotional,or psychological,they dont remember a thing ,or it could be by injury to the brain,this seems like the beginning of some very nice story ,the style,the build ,is really good,i think you are doing a great job here ,well done

[Dagger Jones]

You sure Ye not just got hold o me Biography so to speak Lacey ? I likes it fo first atttempt !

[ShadowWolf]

A very interesting scenario! The format issues will will work themselves out. The only other thing is in the second paragraph...change the word "wondering" to "wandering".

I like this!

[Pax Analog]

I always dig the amnesia device (as does much of pop drama, despite its rarity in reality). I think we like amnesia stories for a lot of reasons -- the obvious one is the "erasure of the hard drive" enabling an adventurous start-over. Another reason, less obvious, is the subtler faculties of memory are cardinal in recalling Source, in the grand neglected tradition of Spirit-Realization, a la Zen, Advaita Vedanta, and various supernal "freaks o' nature." So we're all amnesiacs, re this greater matter.

You're off to a good start in the flavorful potboiler mode. I'd break up the paragraphs leaner. You'll notice comparable intrigue thriller formats do this to good effect. Enhances a fundamental suspense tension that favors your narrative. Something as basic as the "how and what" of paragraph structure can make a big difference in dramatic effect.

Again, I especially like this kind of story, and the psychic component of the dream of others makes it more engaging.

Keep up the good work, and I hope you find a few of these comments useful.

[JRB]

its a good start, keep working on your format, and flow, the story line well its be around, so work hard on adding your flavor.

Jan/uisiom