A Paradise Alone

The island breeze once danced with ocean scents

  Beyond the pensive views and watchful eyes

Of sorrowed tears she’d cry without content

  Whose own grasp of hope had become mere lies.

 

Where distant vistas claw against felled clouds

  Widowed scenes shall age without hope of youth;

For far beyond the island trees so proud,

  Her lover’s head lies in unspoken truth…

 

But oh! Despairing thoughts are held once more,

  To feel the rains again skin, drenched, imparts

Its wisdom, one last time, to silent scores

  Of gentle kisses pressed upon her heart.

 

    Yet there she lies with gentle sighs forlorn…

    For life within oceans of drought is scorned

Author's Note

Okay, I think I may have something I like now... maybe...

Robert

Reviews

[SimonitroX]

Wow... I just love how this poem flows so nicely with deep and beautiful feelings within.

It's another love poem with meaningful words that I cherish pretty much. I love how you convey her love by a distant paradise alone by itself... great stuff, man!

[Verslayer]

Darn it lil bro Robert do I love a good sonnet and this must be one of your best. I'm not going to go into meter...it does falter a bit...but the overall feeling I get is one of sheer pleasure in reading how sadness is captured so well in your poem.
Rob

[Beth Winter]

Robert,

I like it as well. I was surprised that you crafted an ocean sonnet with sorrowful ink but it is stunning in imagery, form and depth of emotion. But oh! is a strong beginning for the volta. Well done.

Beth

[Daytonight]

A truly lovely sonnet. Yet so very poignant. Well penned. Keep up the great work.

[Poetic-Theorem]

Wonderful sonnet, Robert! Very well crafted, stunning imagery, I love how you most often weave nature into all your poetry, metaphoric and otherwise, it always works wonderfully. Excellent work! David

[MysticMirage]

I love this so very much :D It has that classy air and elegant style I look for in Sonnets; the tender petal like emotions framed in sepal like words. Well done indeed, let me know when you do revise it as this is worthy of many reads :D

[.......]

Such a powerful well written write,
flows so wonderful as well.

[FamaSemperVivat]

I don't see anything really wrong with S2-L1 but S3-L1 you've got the word "be" in there twice quite close together, What about changing it slightly to "What it would do to be held close once more," or "What she would do to be held close once more," Just a thought overall very poignant and beautiful, love lost.