Heroin Prison

How could he do this to me?!?
Out the door picked up a chair threw it,
I'm so f*****g hurt!
Kicked the garage door the walls shook.
How can I mean so little?!?!
I scream at the top of my lungs
"I f*****g hate you heroin!!
If you were a man I'd kill you!!
Let go of my son heroin!!"
But I know there is no hope.
Cuz he doesn't want to stop.
Doesn't he care that I'm not making it?
Doesn't he care that I let him destroy my self-esteem while trying to save him?
He rage towards me makes me think one day he might kill me.
I'm struggling bad while he goes through money like water.
Worse he knows our eviction situation and won't help...
Everyday my own son uses me, steals from me, lies to me, degrades me and I just wanna disappear.
I want to run away but I can't leave him behind.
Can't even count on God.
I'm just His entertainment....
My life is hell...
I'm in this heroin prison
And I don't even use heroin.
Maybe the only way to survive this is to do it too.
Come on it's not that hard just stick that needle in your arm.
No one cares not even God or He'd do something.
I hope this shot will make me overdose cuz I can't watch my son kill himself everyday anymore.
F**k you God for not doing anything f**k you.
But I can't get in bed with the demon that tortures my son.
This is my hell,
This is my punishment.
My mother once cursed me,
"I curse you to have a child twice as bad as you!!"
Well mom you got your wish.
Maybe I deserve this.
All I know is he didn't do anything to be cursed like this.
This is our story
Doing our term
In heroin prison...
Please God let us survive this.


L. Mack

10/7/21