Girl Trying To Find Love

this story is about a 14 year old girl who is trying her best to find the love of her life...but it is hard for her because she gets bullied a lot and it distracts her.

The once was a girl named Rachel Berry, who was walking to school with her dads. She had a hard time making friends at her new school, General Brown Central School District.  She was 14 years old and she only had gay dads because her mother gave her up for adoption. Her favorite thing to do was sing and that's how she expressed herself, in song. But at her school there was a big bullying problem. Everyone treats her like she is a dead animal on the side of the rode. Her best friend is Kurt Hummel and he is gay but he treats her like she is an angel sent from above. One days Rachel and Kurt were walking home from school and these three girls came up to them and started calling them names and shoving them to the ground. Rachel got sick of the bullying and stood up for her and Kurt. She punched them all in the face, then all of the girls ran away. Kurt was so proud to call Rachel his best friend and those girls never talked or touched them ever again.

Author's Note

what do you this of my first story

Reviews

[Luca]

It's a little hard to read because of the font, so I'd be wary of that in the future. Remember, show and don't tell. Sure, you could've said that she walked with her gay dads, but you could've instead described that her fathers took her hands and strolled with her to the front door of school. Or anything to that effect, you understand? It escalated very quickly however. I understand that she would get tired of all the bullying, but for one girl to punch a bunch of others in the face quickly seems a little awkward. If you still want to keep it with her punching them, describe a little more. Describe the action and everything. Remember, description is the meat of your story. You wouldn't want a burger that's just lettuce and bread, right? Same logic goes for a story. Please take this into account, and keep writing. I can see that you have great potential, just describe more. Maybe delve a little more into why her mother absolutely had to give her up? Some dialogue? Make it a little longer, possibly. Like I said, please don't stop writing, okay? Just have fun with it.

[RachelKim]

I love it!
I can't wait to see what else you have in store!

[Kylie Nier]

my title was a little off but I still like the story