My suicidal love

You looked me dead into my eyes and I swore you saw through my like an opaque pink because that was my favorite color and you would always be the best line of any poem I could ever write and any song I could ever sing even though you always told me to stop because I wasn't very good at it. You looked through me and told me i'd never be anything more than the cliches I always used in my writing until I had to stop all together because of the cold morning you left me without any words from your mouth. 

I hope this convinces you that your love was my suicide

And that you cant bring back someone 

after they die.

I dont think I couldve screamed much louder considering I lost my voice every day after you left me 

I screamed every night you were gone into my pillow

My mom promised me that time would heal my heart that was broken beyond the repair of the best mechanic in the state

But my bed never felt any warmer

And the baths only filled with tears instead of lavender bubbles

And movies weren't as funny anymore

And last summer felt cold even on the hottest day

And my clothes never felt as if they fell on my body right anymore 

And I hated going to work because no one asked me how it was once I got home

And my favorite animal became the one I hated the most

And I never painted an opaque pink picture again

And I stopped singing along to my favorite song 

And I never wrote another word until I wrote this,

my suicide letter.

What I'll never forget is even after all those years you never gave me anything, not even a word on a piece of paper and that's all ill be able to give you now.

you 

killed

me

Author's Note

This is not really a suicide note :)

Reviews

[no.cristeaux]

This poem felt personal, and raw, and just... great. The emotion in the "and" lines is so palpable. Fantastic writing with so much depth. I'm definitely a fan.

k.k.

[Andrew Leister-Frazier]

That sounds so difficult. He could have loved you and wanted you to hate him so you could move on afterwards. Maybe he had an illness he didn't want you to know about. Maybe he determined he couldn't provide for you didn't want to burden you for the rest of your life. It sounds like he burdened you anyway. Sometimes people get confused and do terrible things out of love.

[Kylee]

I agree 110% love makes people do strange things sometimes! But we both have moved on to people I think we were meant to be with and he is happy where he is in life and thats all that matters to me in the end

[KanaDream]

This is horrible! That guy was a jerk! You don't know how happy I am to see the author's note because I was about ready to go after the menace. To think that someone could love another so much and they wouldn't even be considerate about it... This is an amazing poem. It really agitates me so that means it got across well. Man I hate to know that there actually people like that who just leave after treating someone so badly... And pink is the est color. How can anyone hurt someone who likes pink? That's just wrong... Anyways, now that my rant is done, great job. ^^

Keep Dreaming.

[Kylee]

You are so kind and sweet! This was about a boy many many years ago I have moved on to a very good man since him who treats me with the utmost respect and love :)

[KanaDream]

Good I'm glad. ^^