She really was happy at last

She wanted a baby so bad and God saw to it that she had one. Her little miracle.

    You know Kymber was a spoiled child but a good child at the same time.  She liked her way, but she could be so kind and understanding too.  If you showed her any little kind of emotion, she was all over it, saying " What's a matter Sugar?"  See what I mean?  She fell in love, but not really.  Guys were a dime a dozen to her and she was so beautiful, more beautiful than the law should have allowed.  She could go from sweet to ghetto in a minute flat!  And protective like a mother Hawk.  She'd scratch your eyes out in a minute if she needed to protect someone! Whew!!

    She was always on the Deans list in college to become a nurse.  She was just extra smart!  I expected that out of her, I did and I got it tooo! But guys, she didn't have a lick of sense.  She just wanted to become a MOM!  That was her thing.  One day she saw a grade school sweetheart walking down the street and she picked him up and took him to his destination and she was in 7th heaven.  She came home and told me, but she told me he was staying at a halfway house.

     Well I about flipped my lid.  I loved that child way, way too much to throw her life away!  She knew it too.  So she clammed up.  She wouldn't tell me anything anymore.

      She thought she could cure a heroin addict and didn't realize what she had gotten herself into.  She actually took care of him.  Worked and took care of him.  I was furious!  I couldn't coddle her this time.

      Then she found out she was pregnant.  Of course secretly I was happy especially when she was a girl.  She was on cloud nine.  I bought her maternity clothes and baby things and tried to be as good according to the circumstances.  I cried my eyes out at night though.  She even dropped out of school.  That infuriated me.

       There was another guy that loved her through the years and he was obsessed with her.  Kymber married her childhood love and gave the baby his name.  Then the obsessed guy put the dad in prison because he was a confidential informant.  Then she was loose and at his disposal.  He stalked her and chased her until one day they had a fight and he strangle her to death.  She was late 15 minutes for work and her dad checked on her and they let him in and she was dead.  I went over there in shock.  

        The baby was 4 and a half months old and that was the happiest I had ever, ever seen that child.  She became an Angel when little Serenity was born.  Her demeanor changed, her face, just everything about that child and I couldn't have loved her anymore if I had tried.  She was the joy and the love of my life.  I will never love that way again no matter how hard I try.  She was my everything.  My life will never sing again.  I miss her with my whole broken heart. All I can do is put one foot in front of the other now.  I've been writing to Dr. Phil for help and they finally called the other day and would like for him and me to talk about the day it happen on the show.  I don't even know anymore what's important or what she would have me do.  I want to make her proud, but how?  I want her to come back home.  I love you baby girl.  You were the best thing in my whole world.  When I finally got to see her the day she died, she was on the floor in the living room and I said " Kymber wake up baby and let's go home, you can do it sweetie.  Come on home with Mommy, ok?"  Then I sang the Whitney Houston song to her " I will always love you" as I brushed her hair back and still begged and begged my baby to get up and go home, but I just forgot she was already home.  Kymber Mommy loves you, now and always, ok? Sugar pie?  And I will always love you oooo.....Mama

Reviews

[rickm97]

You just keep breaking my heart, sweetie. I feel you writhing in the agony of loss.
Just write away. Send those words out into the universe, let each letter carry a tear with it, let each sentence become a train and carry off just a little more pain.
God is watching and listening.
Just one more step.