Transcript from the most recent meeting of the Walt Disney Second Banana Club
As magically recorded by Tinkerbell
President Thumper presiding

Thumper: I hereby call this meeting to order. My friends, I know that my term as president is not officially over for another two months, but today I shall be stepping down as your president.

Cries of "No" and "Hang in there, Thumper" from membership in attendance.

Thumper: I appreciate the support just as I have appreciated all the support for the past sixteen years of my presidency. But seeing as I have made the decision to retire, and our new president has already been elected, I see no point in hanging around as a lame duck. No offense to ducks present intended, of course. Without further ado, I hand the reins off to your new president, the Genie.

Tigger: Three cheers for Thumper!

All: Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray!

This was followed by a long round of foot thumping by all members with feet in attendance.

Genie: We thank you, Thumper, for your years of service and lively leadership. I humbly accept the reins of leadership. You all must know that with new leadership comes change. I must now address a situation in this club which has bothered me since my induction. It is a situation that, in fact, extends all the way back to the original founding of this club. This is the Walt Disney Second Banana Club, is it not?

Cries of affirmation from members in attendance.

Genie: The definition of second banana, as I understand it, is a performer who plays a subordinate but supporting role to the star or "top banana" of a production. I proudly played second banana to Aladdin in the movie bearing his name. As did Thumper to Bambi and Jiminy Cricket here to Pinocchio. As did most of you. But the definition is a performer, not several performers. There can be only one second banana per production. This is not the third through eighth banana club, so why do we continue to allow seven dwarves' membership, all from one movie!

Cries of outrage mingled with murmurs of agreement.

Timothy Q. Mouse: Look here, you upstart, watch your mouth. You're talking about seven of the ten founding members of this club. Show some respect, newbie, before you get tossed out on your ear.

Doc: Thank you, Timothy, we can defend ourselves. With all due respect, Mr. President, this club would not exist without the efforts of we dwarves as well as our co-founders Jiminy, Timothy, and Thumper. We named the club ourselves. So from the very start, all seven of us have by definition been second bananas.

Genie: Don't you realize that you dilute the meaning of second banana? The second banana is a pivotal role. Some of you are one-trick ponies. A two-second joke that lasted seventy years. I mean, Sneezy? Come on! And look at that one - he doesn't even care - he's sleeping!

Doc: His name is Sleepy.

Genie: That's what I'm talking about. Sleepy, Sneezy, and what about that one? Is he hiding behind a chair?

Doc: He's Bashful.

Genie: He's Bashful! I recommend you take a vote amongst the seven of you and decide which one will represent you in the membership of this club. Before the club decides for you. I assure you, Doc, I am not alone in my beliefs. I would like to remind you of an incident that occurred when I was still a brand new member of this club. Certainly you recall The Lion King controversy? And how it was solved?

Pumbaa: That's right! That's true! Why do Timon and I have to have a rotating membership but all seven of you get to be in at once! Both of us played way more important roles in our stories than, say, Happy!

Doc: But we are founding members! And need I remind you that the title of the movie is Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. How many of you are mentioned in the title?

Little John: Doc's right. They're founding members. They're written into the charter. You can't get rid of them without any wrongdoing on their parts. They would be exempt from any membership decisions made after their induction.

Genie: You! I'm amazed you have the audacity to speak up! You, the only member with two memberships!

Little John: What are you talking about?

Genie: Why is it that I have never seen you and Baloo at the same meeting? Why is it that no one has ever seen the two of you in the same place at the same time?

Little John: That's ridiculous. We're different bears. He's African and I'm European.

Genie: You're fooling no one. We can see through your idiotic disguise. You think a green hat with a feather is enough to pull the wool over everyone's eyes?

Jiminy Cricket: Friends! Friends! Enough of this bickering. This body has been a democracy from its inception. The Genie has the right to call for a vote on this matter if he so wishes. Do you wish to put the matter of the dwarves' membership to a vote, Mr. President?

Genie: I'd like to hear from any of them other than Doc first.

Grumpy: I think the Genie's right. There should only be one second banana per film. One dwarf. That's it.

Doc: Oh yeah? And which dwarf would you pick to represent us?

Grumpy: Ask anybody to name the seven dwarfs. They always forget one. But the three they always remember are me, you, and Dopey. Dopey's a f*****g mute retard. That brings it down to me and you, Doc. And I'm the most recognizable. Tell anybody to picture just one of the seven dwarfs and they're picturing either me or Dopey. Not you, Doc. I should be the representative here for the Snow White flick.

At this point the door opened and the White Rabbit entered.

White Rabbit: Sorry I'm late.