She's gone

Big set up for the rest of the plot

Today's the day. The day we put her in the ground. Just six days ago she was fine. Her perfect beautiful self, caring and loving.

It was my last concert as a 12 year old sophomore. I know that it's a happy day. My mom is driving straight from work to come see me perform. My dad's already here in the audience with Chyler ready to watch. His video camera is set up to film the whole concert. Kahlan is here, she's skipping soccer practice just to see me.

The concert starts with the lower band. They go first so that each band is better as the night goes on. As my band gets ready to perform I'm backstage checking the crowd to see if my mom is arrived yet, she's still not here. I asked my director to see if he can delay the opening even just a bit, just so my mom has enough time to get here. Turns out my director is fantastic at long-winded speeches, because he manages to stall the concert for 30 minutes. He gives a grand Soliloquy about joining the marching band program for the next season hyping up the new show theme and everything, but eventually we have to start performing.

Halfway through our performance I noticed mom still not here. I'm between sad and mad. Sad because she's not here and mad because that means she lied to me. We finished the concert strong though with a standing ovation, but Mom still hasn't arrived yet.

I can see my dad in the crowd reaching for his phone as I exit the stage to pack up my instrument. Kahlan follows me to the band room. She always knows how I'm feeling and she can tell that something is wrong with my mood.

“What's up babe? You look sad.”

She continues to wonder why my mood is down.

“The concert was great Rae, what's going on in that head of your's?”

I sniffle and she pulls me aside.

“She wasn't there.”

“Who wasn't there, babe?”

“My mom. She wasn't there and she promised me she would be.”

“Oh baby, I'm so sorry”

She kisses me on the cheek and we continue walking to the band room. As I finished packing, up I hear Chyler come running. She's wearing the kids fancy flip flops that look like church shoes and they make a lot of noise. She runs straight into Kahlan's legs crying and screaming the words I will remember for the rest of my life.

“She's gone Rae Rae, She's gone!”

Kahlan picks her up so she can calm her down cause Chyler is still crying. But now she starts saying something else too.

“Mama's gone and she isn't coming back!”

That one sentence for my distraught little sister is why I'm in all black again 6 days later out of tears to cry feeling guilty for thinking my mom was a liar when she was actually dead. Me blaming myself when it was a drunk driver that actually killed her trying to get to my concert.

Kahlan has been perfect since my mom died. She holds my hand she lets me cry and as we lower my mom's battered body into the ground we noticed that my dad's not even here. Looking back on it, he didn't even take us home that night. He drove straight to a bar and he begin drinking because he couldn't handle what happened. As we stand over my mother's grave tossing in flowers, and shoveling dirt, I make her a silent promise to always love my sister, to care for Kahlan like my mom care for my dad, and to always make my mom proud.