Learning to Trust Again

I wish I didn’t need you, but you truly are my life
I dream about you without end and long to be your wife
My love for you runs through my veins, weather a blessing or disease
Just don’t go break my fragile heart my love I’m begging please
I know your not the others but it’s hard to just let go
When pain , mistrust and fear is all I’ve ever had to... know
My heart still bleeds from the damage once done, It may never be the same
But I give to you every last part of me, you can take what does remain,
So many what ifs flow through my mind, I’m driving myself to be ill
I know you love me and say you’ll be true yet nightmares haunt me still
I give my everything to make you happy but my heart continues to weep
The same terrors torment me when I’m awake that do when I’m asleep
I pray each night to God above he forbid you find someone new
I don’t know if my heart could endure it. I don’t know what I would do
Consumed by silence here I sit , tears falling from my cheek
Wishing for the strength to call but forgetting how to speak
I sit here limp not able to move, I’m paralyzed by the unknown
Being afraid to be all by myself yet sitting here alone
Just let me give up, I’m too weary to cry yet I know of no other way
To put me to sleep and wake up distraught just to face the same exact day
These tears of anguish flow from my eyes but spring from deep within
My heart aches for reassurance as I learn to trust again