UNTITLED- CAN SOME1 GIVE IT A NAME PLEASE!?

ACTUALLY I JUST STARTED WRITING IT AND IT JUST FLOWED FROM MY HEAD TO THE TIP OF THE PEN lol...IT TOOK ME 13 MINUTES(AND I WILL NOT WANT TO CALL IT THAT)lol

I loved you so dear,

Blissful, everything about you appear,

So clear,

My dear,

Feelings in me you steer,

And my poetic thoughts you trigger like Shakespeare,

But then it’s unclear,

You subject me to pain, severe,

It pierces my soul, like a spear,

What we have is rare,

Don’t throw away my affairs to the rear,

Do not fear or despair,

Cuz that in the air,

Unfair, will spell insincere,

Don’t smear,

This perfect picture with tear,

You and I is the final frontier.

 

 

 

Reviews

[Barbara Walker]

I think the last line would sound better as, "We are the final frontier". I don't get the line,"Don't throw away my affairs to the rear" and "cuz that in the air". Sorry. Barbara

[Lady Of Darkness]

How about Poetic Thoughts or something lol...anyway great poem.
I like the flow of this piece. Well done.

[Tai Chi Italy]

I liked this kurrupted but the cuz word didn't suit the rest of the poem imo. As to title, well you speak of loving in it's extremes, How about Thirteen! Expremely Lucky in Love?lol Love is a b***h but she can be a real nice sandy beach too. Smiling at you, Tai