Mind Reader

Remix.....not a mind reader, just imagining if i was.

 

 

 

 

Murky memories,

                         Twisted synapses,

Concentric revolutions,

                                 Bursts of light and thought.

 

 

Meandering through

                        forgotten corridors,

Foreboding passageways,

                            I race down them,

      for they are chilling.

Other passageways,

                     sparkling stars,

                     joyful and light,

       A child's delight.

Strange how they exist,

       Side by side.

 

 

Neurons fire,

    efficient and complex.

                        Impressive cerebral activity;

             You are quite brilliant,

           or mad perhaps.

 

Fireworks of thought

                  Energized by your creativity

Explode before me. 

                      So beautiful to see.

 

As I continue my search,

           I'm laced with a nagging fear....

That no traces of me

           linger in your gray portals

of lust or love.

       none at all.....

                 none at all.

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

Reviews

[Antonio Valentino]

Nautili, we need to stop watching too many of them darn science shows haha

i really enjoyed this.. that would be interesting if we could walk around in someones mind for even a moment.. just to see all this activity.. i suppose some people would have darker shades and others still would be vibrant and hopeful.. we would probably find things in there that they even didnt know existed.. but then maybe all of our minds are best left to ourselves.. the ultimate, space of privacy.. only to be deciphered splinters of thought, and how they make us feel about ourselves..

this was great.. from a poet who isnt afraid to dive too deep into the pool of wonder..

speaking of which, this was wonder full

:)

[Nautili]

lol....if we really could read minds, it would be a truly scary "gift/curse" for us and the person who we read..I'd rather just imagine. Thanks for the review!

[Antonio Valentino]

actually... I can, read minds...

oh my gawd, what are you thinking.. im not that kind of guy Nautili!!

hahahahhaa..

yeah i agree.. thank goodness we can keep our thoughts private..

:)

[Nautili]

Too bad ;) lol......

[Antonio Valentino]

hahaha.. you're funny.. :)

[Jai Garg]

True when we deal with the unknown the surprises are limitless; good or bad as they unwind.

Lol the mind can travel faster than even light. Lol

[Art]

this is a very nice work...how those thoughts take us into the very depths of the mind...even our own imagination can sucuumb to the entrance of wishing to be...within the mind of another....

nice...

[Akshat♥]

i really liked it...
this poem reflects a lot of word power..
this poem really reads your mind..
good work:)

[Alvin L. Kathembe]

"...brilliant...or mad perhaps..." nice wordplay :)
I like this poem- its imagery and structure....great read!

[Greg Skura]

I love it! At first I had a slight aversion to not read due to the word patterns, I am happy I read it! Well Done!

[cartera]

Oh. Sorry. No sarcasm meant at all with opening remark . Not my style. I agree with Aristotle. The remark is a tad flippant, and for that I am sorry. Probably a poor attempt at humour. I am afraid that I cannot say now what inspired it. Please accept my honest apology. I may have been thinking of the explosions going on in the mind of the narrator that needed expression.
Re first/second person, on re-reading I see that I have 'heard' the poem wrongly.
.................
So. Apologies for any misunderstanding.
ATB
Alex.

[cartera]

Are you better now?
Why the move from first to second person? Took me away from the fireworks a little.
ATB
Alex.

[Off With Her Head]

So you like to write concise sentences and present them to the reader with no string whatsoever. I've got murky thoughts to the right of me and concentric revolutions to the left. I dislike saying what should be but I'm struggling to find an alternative.

Concentric revolutions, huh? It's so fly-away you can just jot it down and leave it be? Expansion. Yes, I understand the short and the snappy but I also understand that it's small ideas that are made big by exploration. Concentric revolution. That's huge. Could be twenty stanzas if you so wished it.

"You are quite brilliant,
or mad perhaps"

Liked that.

I replied to your reply of my review on the same poem.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

"You are quite brilliant,

or mad perhaps."


Laughing hysterically....I hear that ALL the time! Another wonderful read...now I just have to send a friend request!