Invisible She

 

 

 

She is here, then gone.

She floats upon a current of air,

looking unsuccesfully for a place to land.

Her breezy fragrance fills the room,

lingering softly after her departure.

 

She feels detached and alone.

She wonders if she will ever find a home.

It feels to her as though she is invisible,

no super power to be envied here,

but a continual curse.

 

Superficial eyes that scan,

and then discount her

as too ordinary

to be noticed or admired. 

Yet how extraordinary is 

this girl.

My longing is for her to see this-

her beauty, her uniqueness, her wit, her strength.

May she see who she is.

(The lines becoming slowly visible

as they form before her

golden doe eyes,

colors of springtime splashing

in her soul's most sacred space.)

 

 

 

Author's Note

I wrote this with my daughter in mind, but it is for all women that overlook their own unique wonder and beauty. By the way, the picture used is of my daughter. She is a beauty.

Reviews

[Leigh]

The opening stanza is very strong and gives an immediate unique feel of the character you are describing. The opening line reminds me a little little bit of She's Not There by Santana, if you know it, it is going back a bit mind!! I like the way you relate to your daughters beauty and her so say invisibility, she will become much more visible as you put it as she becomes aware of it.

[MOON]

Beautifully written everyone knows that feeling of being invisble , the way we define beauty in this narrow fashion . The unique beauty is who we are rather than the physical.

[Lawrence Parlier]

Another fantastic job.... You do a solid job of portraying her in so few words. I take it she is a young adult? I sense that resignation in your tone that she is at the age where these discoveries of character and development of personal values have to be experienced to be fully realized (and they NEVER listen at that age anyway).
Great write. Great Read.

[JENY]

Wow..
No words to say..
Sounds like a peculiar poem….
Some lines seemed to be describing the person…I am…
Feel a special affinity to the whole theme…
Liked it so much..

[Greg Skura]

This is very good I truly enjoyed reading it! As we are all unique and individual, some of us go unnoticed by the ones that we need to notice us most. Have patience for those that are visible will fade, as will the invisible come to light.

[LonelySoul]

I've been in the shoes you now walk,people don't see,but surely they talk,
even in my very own home,a house full of people but I'm all alone,
Sometimes,I wish they would do me but they just walk right through me,
in my own home I am the host,but most of the time I feel like a ghost...LonelySoul

[David W Moore III]

Interestingly she does not even have the voice to tell her story. The omnipresent narrated must. Which also means the narrater sees her and 'knows' her, and wishes her to know, but is powerless to tell her. Why? It seems the narrater is in almost the same position of lack of self esteem as the subject. Interesting. Good piece.

[An owl on the moon]

A haunting account of one who walks through life unnoticed. You paint this beautiful, bittersweet canvass with a longing for her to be found.. Wonderfully written with compassion and depth of feeling.

[Bubo]

Beautifully written, how is it that should you not have the beauty you go unnoticed,and if your voice is not loud enough you go unheard.But you see below all that, inside the beauty of who she is.......I have no doubt we have all felt invisible at times.