Nana

Nana

A Poem by Gabija
"

This is very personal and emotional poem.

"
You've left when I was fourteen
why so soon, why so fast
I can't wrap my head around it
Before that I believed in God
Why it sounds so funny now. 

You taught me how to draw a human
Two ovals and all that jazz
you used to love the yellow color
bright as sun as you used to say. 

You used to ask me to do your nails 
I said no almost every time 
I remember burgundy colored nails
You felt so beautful and happy.

Once I wore a little white princess dress
You burst into tears the minute you saw me
I felt the prettiest girl alive 
Sadly, you won't make me feel this way again. 

© 2016 Gabija


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Reviews

This one... hurts because the understanding of loss is complete.

Posted 8 Years Ago


WoW!!!!
heartfelt personal......and filled with love........
a beautiful dedication........she would be proud of you.........
the little details......hinting the depths of emotions.......
i won't say with time everything will be okay.......its impossible to deal with a personal loss in a alleged mature way.........but that's how life is........we can't turn the time back but we can certainly look forward to what's to come.........best wishes.......

great poem.....
absolutely loved it!!!!

Posted 8 Years Ago


Gabija

8 Years Ago

thank you.
As presented a very personal and emotional piece. It is a fine representation of the theme, the remembering of one now gone, the pain still present, yet with time the memories of the relationship more poignant.
The flow is good, some well developed language leading to well placed high points. Good imagery and emotional communication, the tenses handled easily.
I am going to suggest that instead of drew you might try draw. In the next line yellow colors plural or the color yellow if singular. Into instead of inyo (typos, I know I hate when I do that to). Though I am not a fan of capitol letters for every line, its a choice one can make, however here its not quite uniform.
A few small errors, none of them are fatal to the enjoyment of your work. And you should be proud of this poem, it has some great qualities, it balances the emotions involved in loss, the little intimacies of important relationships, and tells a story with intent.


Posted 8 Years Ago


Gabija

8 Years Ago

wow. I love reviews as long as this one hah thank you
This is very personal and emotional poem and so does it sounds so nice to readers :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


Gabija

8 Years Ago

thank you :))

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4 Reviews
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Added on August 28, 2016
Last Updated on August 30, 2016
Tags: poetry, poem, writing

Author

Gabija
Gabija

Šiauliai, Lithuania



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