The first time I saw the "you outside, me inside" line, I thought of it as "outside" = not in the center of someone else's attention or friendship. Later in your poem, I saw this as "outside" = operating upon the outer qualities & not paying attention to the inner qualities. I love writing that conveys multiple possibilities. Beyond the point you make by SHOWING with an example from life, this poem also conveys a deeply rumbling sense of disgust, as if this is meant to be stated nicely, but there's a hidden insult, a hidden put-down. It's becuz you use "you think . . ." this is typical of someone putting someone else down, implying how they think is wrong. So in this way, the narrator is not THAT good of an example of your core message, about operating based on the inner soul of a person . . . someone doing that might be more gentle in delivering harsh observations perhaps? Not a critique of your poem. Your poem is well-expressed for the feeling you convey. I'm just discussing possibilities (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie
Posted 4 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
4 Years Ago
Hey,
Anyone always writes with one perspective the reader opens up the possibilities.... You .. read moreHey,
Anyone always writes with one perspective the reader opens up the possibilities.... You saw what i couldn't see this is so nourishing to me and to my thoughts.... I am blessed to read your views..... I am glad that you read and expressed your thoughts.... With Respect and Gratitude thank you very much...
- Kuldeep Desai
4 Years Ago
I love how readers show me different ways to understand my own writing!
Wonderful and amazing poetry shared my friend.
"You don't want to tell people how you feel about them,
I want to tell people how much they mean to me
But you are outside and i am inside.... "
You shared great wisdom. You can seek wealth or you can seek happiness? Outstanding poetry shared. I did enjoy.
Coyote
very clever lines here the inner dialogue and the outward presentation rarely the two will meet but in the awareness of self... perhaps one day they might make a compromise or two:) I cant help thinking parts of my core may be rotten and best left unexposed for fear of scaring the children LOL
Posted 4 Years Ago
3 Years Ago
I come here only when I am feeling low and after a year I am reading your review, All I can say is y.. read moreI come here only when I am feeling low and after a year I am reading your review, All I can say is your review just made my day.
Wishing you Health and Happiness no matter in what part of the world you are.
The first time I saw the "you outside, me inside" line, I thought of it as "outside" = not in the center of someone else's attention or friendship. Later in your poem, I saw this as "outside" = operating upon the outer qualities & not paying attention to the inner qualities. I love writing that conveys multiple possibilities. Beyond the point you make by SHOWING with an example from life, this poem also conveys a deeply rumbling sense of disgust, as if this is meant to be stated nicely, but there's a hidden insult, a hidden put-down. It's becuz you use "you think . . ." this is typical of someone putting someone else down, implying how they think is wrong. So in this way, the narrator is not THAT good of an example of your core message, about operating based on the inner soul of a person . . . someone doing that might be more gentle in delivering harsh observations perhaps? Not a critique of your poem. Your poem is well-expressed for the feeling you convey. I'm just discussing possibilities (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie
Posted 4 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
4 Years Ago
Hey,
Anyone always writes with one perspective the reader opens up the possibilities.... You .. read moreHey,
Anyone always writes with one perspective the reader opens up the possibilities.... You saw what i couldn't see this is so nourishing to me and to my thoughts.... I am blessed to read your views..... I am glad that you read and expressed your thoughts.... With Respect and Gratitude thank you very much...
- Kuldeep Desai
4 Years Ago
I love how readers show me different ways to understand my own writing!
The binary between the inside and outside is evident in the binary of materialism and spiritualism, the introvert and the sociable. Besides, the choice of the demonstrative picture of the apple is appreciable. And the thing is that binaries get along really well. The last line winds it all up stating that the inside and the outside are different yet incorporated in the same body.
Posted 4 Years Ago
4 Years Ago
it felt good reading your view....It was satisfactory..... blessed.....Thank you 👍🏻