The last letter

In memory of her

Writing a letter on the ridge of a mountain

Frozen hand shivering even to hold the pen

Cold breeze, infinite thoughts mind is at stake

But still writing just for your sake

 

Emptiness is so desperate to give me no words

Surrounded by air of melancholy that’s absurd

Still found and wrote the lines from then to now

Need to say goodbye, but don’t know how

Wind blew so hard letters flew far apart

And I had to write everything from the start

 

There’s a groom waiting for you, grin and agile

Flowers everywhere you walked down the aisle

Seeing you like an angel, realized my big Mistake

This rain of pain is going to stop, I am about

finish this letter

Tear it into pieces after reading once

when the letter is open

Coz whatever I had given to you with love is

always meant to be broken…………….

 

 

 

 

 

 

    

Reviews

[Emily]

I love the meaning of this!
Keep on writing!!

[Kuldeep desai]

Thank you for reading and encouragement.....

[JayG]

There are a million, "I've lost you and I'm so sad," poems, all lamenting someone unknown who left for unknown reasons. The words change, but the event is always the same: My baby left me and I'm feeling sad.

High school lit mags are filled with such poems, written by teen aged girls recovering from a first love. So many they've been given the name, Dismal Damsel Poems.

That's not to say that they can't be well written, just that there are so many of them that it's impossible to be unique. If you look around, here, you'll see that they're probably more than half of what's posted.

But the biggest problem with them is that they are a listing of how much suffering someone we know nothing about has felt. But face it. For all we know the one who left was driven to do so by the behavior of the one lamenting the loss. After all, we know nothing about either of them, or what led to them coming together or ending, or even how long they were together. So while the one writing is deep in emotion, how can the reader, who has only a list of how sad the speaker is, neither relate nor understand. They came to you to be moved, emotionally, and you told them how YOU feel.

Instead, why not make them feel the loss?

I wish I had better news. But to better show the kind of thing the poem reminded me of, here's a link to the singing group Davinci's Notebook's song, The Title of the Song. It's sly, funny, and one of my favorites.

In the song, the group presents a template for creating a generic love song. In it, they tell you what information to place in the various spots, just as the people writing this kind of poem adhere to their own placement formula.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=281ax7Ovlsg

[Kuldeep desai]

The one thing i noticed from your couple of review you pointed on the point of narration reader should be aware of things happened related to what i have written......For this poem you say "They came to you to be moved, emotionally, and you told them how YOU feel".......that feeling is what gives you the words which are buried deep inside your heart.....if i had written what, when and how i don't think it would be interesting.......... yes reader doesn't know nothing about either of them, or what led to them coming together or ending...........but they know about that feeling and the pain.......if i am writing only about it they will feel all the emotions and all the words described to narrate will be owned by them, they can relate they might have gone through that phase moreover every story written has always a background story which is meant to be hidden......even Shakespeare had is own tragic story before writing romeo and Juliet........

[JayG]

• .that feeling is what gives you the words which are buried deep inside your heart

So? When you read those words they point to images, memories, and emotions, in your mind. So they generate emotion. But when your reader sees them, they point to images, memories, and emotions, in YOUR mind. The moment you release your words into the world, you, and everything about you becomes irrelevant. It's the reader, and what your words suggest to them, based on THEIR background and experiences. If the words were vivid and evocative, perhaps they might be appreciated for the beauty of language, and it might work.

• but they know about that feeling and the pain

But they got over it. And who wants to wallow in pain? Especially, when every other poem says exactly the same thing, though not as well as as Elvis:

"Well, since my baby left me
Well, I found a new place to dwell
Well, it's down at the end of Lonely Street
At Heartbreak Hotel"

David Sedaris hit it right when he said:

“The returning student had recently come through a difficult divorce, and because her pain was significant, she wrongly insisted her writing was significant as well.”

You did ask, remember.

A minor point, an ellipsis is three dots for an incomplete thought—sometimes four if it's a sentence end—not a line of them.

[AYVID N]

Hearbreak is so cruel especially for a true and sincere lover. But hearbreak is an integral part of every love story whatever its culmination. Its pathos is vital to the thrumming of the human heart and soul. Great depiction of sorrow in love. I appreciate this poem very much Kuldeep.

[Kuldeep desai]

yeah nowadays heartbreak is common in every love story........and sad part is it will be cruel to either of one......if one is suffering the other one will be in mode for another...........i am glad you have liked it thank you.........

[Coyote Poetry]

Honest words in the letter.
"Emptiness is so desperate to give me no words
Surrounded by air of melancholy that’s absurd
Still found and wrote the lines from then to now
Need to say goodbye, but don’t know how
Wind blew so hard letters flew far apart
And I had to write everything from the start"
The above lines. True and so hard to say goodbye. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Kuldeep desai]

I don't know how many times i have said thanks to you for reading cause that many times you were grateful in reading my works.......thank you Mr.HugeHearted...........i always envy you...

[Coyote Poetry]

You are very kind and I love your work. You are welcome.

[wordman]

sad,touching and heart felt,the opposite side of love

[Kuldeep desai]

Thank you for stopping by i am glad you have liked it....

[S. Meijin]

The best poem to describe heartbreaks. Especially the last two lines. But hey, if you have someone to miss, then you're lucky. Just keep giving love. The world needs more of that. All in all, this poem is superb!

[Kuldeep desai]

There is only pain in missing someone i don't know how to feel lucky......Thank you for reading and i am glad you have liked it....

[Dr. YumnaKay]

This is so heart-touching! Sometimes things and people are given to us to be taken back and therein our strength is tested.. The main thing is to keep your head down and believe in yourself.. No other person can give you what you can't give yourself...
I liked reading this.. You portray the sentiments beautifully..

[Kuldeep desai]

you are right Self belief is what that keeps steady and going it is path for the relief...........I am glad you have liked it and thank you for reading.....

[Dr. YumnaKay]

You are welcome! It was a pleasure ☺

[KWP]

ah, yes, great poem ... what's that saying, 'It's better to have loved than to never have loved at all' ... life it's a funny thing, and lessons come far and wide and sometimes they hurt so bad you never think you will make it through the moments, but moments, pass, and time heals, when you are right in the thick of it, you just don't believe it, but it's true, and from our experiences we learn and grow ... if we allow it ...

such a great piece ... breathe that mountain air in, for that's where you find freedom X

[Kuldeep desai]

i have always got very valuable suggestions for my writing here but today after reading "breathe that mountain air in, for that's where you find freedom" i felt so overwhelmed..........this pain, happiness are never going to remain same they change but what stays are the words spoken or written and i have to thank you for your kind one's it was special for me..............:)

[KWP]

Love to you my friend ❤️

[Anindita Janhabee]

One of the best sad poems I've ever read......
no words with me to describe...to review.....
just feelings that caught my heart with sentiments......
i wish you get what you deserve and may you be loved so much that you forget every pain...

[Kuldeep desai]

Thank you anindita it feels so nice i mean i wrote it just for my sake of relief and i got it in the first review and once again thank you for being so kind for reading and saying such nice things it means a lot............:)

[Anindita Janhabee]

thanks to u indeed... i feel so great reading this.. I told na, one of the best pieces I've read in this genre...
actually I'm very emotional and I quickly get to feel what one writes emotionally...
this is so nice to read your work... i hope you get relief very soon , don't think much, when something goes away from you, the other awaits u...
stay blessed...

[Kuldeep desai]

yeah that's true............i have to loose something to get other things..........and i wish u good luck, hope you get all the happiness and positive atmosphere all around you............

[Anindita Janhabee]

u r right and thank you lotssssss!!!!