Rainbow

Burning flame can give you light

             what about the things get burnt.

Bullock cart can be means of transport

                      what about bulls get hurt.

You want to break up insists me to be happy

                       how will you be happy apart

 

You say life is so simple you have only one,

 just move on.

I gave you my heart that was also one,

what about the time we spent on

If life was so simple you fought for silly things,

                                   dont know reason why?

You left me far alone hanging up with someone,

                                           but i still don't cry.

You would have given another chance,

i would have been managed.

wanted to run away, were in so hurry

You just wanted to damage.

You always wanted to be happy,

             afraid of being in pain.

But you can't get a RAINBOW,

             without a drop of rain.  

  

Reviews

[Kathy Van Kurin]

Kuldeep desai,
"rainbow"
A poem of contrasting effects within a choice to leave a relationship. "Flame gives light..also burnt" and "bullock cart transport..also bulls get hurt."
Making the choice.."Life is so simple..you only have one, move on."
Then the ending.." you can't have a rainbow without a drop of rain." I know that breaking up is so sad and difficult. I also know that each relationship is part of who we are and a person's life is full of many experiences.
Bless you in this life process..................kathy

[Emily]

Lovely wording!
Keep it up!

[Kuldeep desai]

thank you.....

[Alfred Kukitz]

Direct & honest with a nice flair at the end.

Regards,
Al

[Kuldeep desai]

thank you for the review,,,,,,,,,,,,,,...........

[Confuser]

KuldeeP: Love is give and take and it should be generous, understanding, patient and caring. The flow is wonderful and the poem is sad, raw, full of depth and honest well described hurt and pain. I truly enjoyed it. You are a talented writer. Thank you so very much. Keep writing.

[Coyote Poetry]

Very true words.
"But you can't get a RAINBOW,
without a drop of rain. "
You must enter the dance to know pleasure of the action. Nice flow of thoughts led to a very good ending. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Kuldeep desai]

thank you............

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[ayesha gupta]

thats so amazing. the last line..it was great.
thanks for sharing.

[Kuldeep desai]

Thank u......

[Nitesh Mahabal]

U have A subtle way of expressing kuldeep, very nice

[Kuldeep desai]

Thank you for your review,

[AprilRN1210]

I absolutely love the last stanza.. with the exception of "can't" needs an apostrophe.. the rest of the piece has a deep message and moving sentiment, but there are quite a few places that caused me to stumble due to phrasing.. also with rhyme, it helps if you have a little more structured meter, makes it stand out more and helps with the overall flow of the piece.. having said that, this piece has a lot of potential and would be happy to help you if you would like.. first piece I have read of yours and I did enjoy:)
nice job.

[Kuldeep desai]

Thank you for your review really it means a lot to me. And definitely i will be working on the things that you have mentioned......thank you very much.....

[AprilRN1210]

you're very welcome. would love to look it over if you change.. please let me know if you do, or if you would like any advice.. :)