A Sign from the Star

Norbert is a shy, awkward geek infatuated with Angelica. He will do anything to win her love, even if it means assisting her with her new off-beat business venture.

The Sales Pitch

“Over here, please,” she shouted down to Norbert from high upon the hilltop. “I found the perfect spot, quiet and away from all the distractions.” 

Just like a well-trained dog, eager to please, Norbert sprinted up the hill.  He took a moment to catch his breath, then quickly set up his camera and looked through the viewer. 

“Looks good.  Ready?  Action”

“Hey guys, welcome to my channel.  Anyone out there wanting to lose weight, look no more, because I have the perfect solution.  No pills, no exercise, no equipment needed.  And to top it off, you can have all the candy you want.  Yes, that’s right, all the candy you want.   Results guaranteed.” 

She motioned for Norbert to move in for a close-up.  The camera revealed a stunning view of Angelica, her tight-fitting apparel revealing her perfectly tanned and fit body.  The camera then zoomed in on her face, revealing a flawless complexion, long glistening dark hair, a dazzling white smile, and, of course, those electrifying blue eyes. Angelica continued, “So if you want to be thin, beautiful and healthy like me, simply send in $19.95, and I will email you step-by-step instructions.  Don’t delay, act now.”

 Norbert gave her a “thumbs up.”

“Woohooo!,” Angelica exclaimed, as she clenched her fists and jumped for joy.  “I can’t wait to post the video!.”

Norbert scratched his head.  “Your presentation was extraordinary, but I still am quite, uh, perplexed by the concept.” 

 “Trust me, you’ll see.”

 

 

 

Study Partners

Spring arrived in the small town of Pinkerton.  It was a welcome change after the long harsh winter. People were out and about.  The town was alive again.

It was a conservative town.  Most all activities revolved around school, college and church.  Parents expected their children to stay out of trouble, attend church, attend college and live happily ever after.  Angelica’s parents wanted all that for her and more, for she was their only child.  They spoiled her rotten. 

Angelica was a beautiful child and learned at an early age how to capitalize on her good looks. Beautiful in every way, but it was her eyes, bright blue and shining, that were by far her best feature. Her eyes were spellbinding, and so expressive that they could almost talk.

 As she grew older, she developed a talent for sales.  She used that skill to start her own youtube channel.  Cosmetic manufacturers from all over would send her samples.  Angelica would test the products and give her honest opinion.  Her review would help make or break a product. She had a large following on her channel.  Her viewers would often count on her reviews to guide them.

While Angelica made a good commission selling beauty products, she aspired to start her own business - A business that would prove to be very lucrative, that would skyrocket her to fame and fortune, far away from this sleepy town.of Pinkerton.  She had the plan, and she knew Norbert would assist her.

Of all the men attracted to Angelica, none was more smitten than Norbert.  So when Angelica asked him to bring his camera and meet her at the park, Norbert was delighted to oblige. With his slight build, thick oversized glasses, mismatched clothes, antisocial personality, Norbert was considered the typical nerd.  Highly intellectual, he preferred books to people.  In his 25 years, girls did not even cross his mind. 

But all that changed when he spotted Angelica as he first entered his business analysis class.  One look in those eyes and he knew he had to meet her.   He was painfully shy, though.  Nevertheless, he found the courage to take a seat closer to her.  Then, one day she was struggling with a particularly difficult homework assignment, and she asked for his help.  They then grew to be study partners. 

But not only was Norbert painfully shy, just one look deeply into her eyes would transform him into a blundering fool.  Although he tried very hard to disguise his feelings and keep his cool, it would always happen.

But Angelica grew to like Norbert.   Other guys would often smother her with pick-up lines.  She felt comfortable with him, and she didn’t really mind his nervous, quirky ways.  Besides, he was always at her beckon call.  She would be needing him often, as she was a high maintenance girl.

 

 

 

Heading Home

Norbert packed up his camera and headed down the hill.

“Oh, and could you upload the video file and send it to me please,” she asked ever so sweetly.

“Certainly,” he replied.

He followed behind as they walked, until they nearly reached the bottom.

“May I,” Norbert started to say.

Angelica unexpectedly turned around and their eyes met.  He found himself only inches away from her.  He froze, unable to move, barely able to speak. 

“May I ah, ah”

“Give you a ride you home, you mean?”

Norbert managed to nod his head.  His mouth hung open, shoulders slumped, as he stood there staring, fascinated by her eyes and her beautiful face.

“I’ve got a ride.  See ya,” she replied in a rush.

Norbert fought back tears as he watched her leave.  Why must I look so foolish? This time I really blew it, he thought.  He wiped his chin, hoping he wasn’t drooling too much.  Sadly, he waved good-bye, thinking it would be for good.

 

 

 

The Favor

Later that night, Angelica’s loyal viewers, enticed by her great beauty and her promises, sent in their money.  Soon her site was flooded with orders, and they continued to come in throughout the night.  She spent the night sending out her email instructions until she finished every last one.  Excited but exhausted, she fell asleep. 

But that excitement was short-lived.  The next day, as she checked her site, she could almost hear the angry reviewers screaming at her from the screen, “This weight loss plan is a joke.  Angelica, you got it wrong this time!” said one.   “I want my money back,” said another.  As she continued to scroll down the page, she saw much more of the same type of reviews.

Feeling defeated, she sighed as she stared at the screen.  The plan works.  Why can’t they see it?  Angelica paused to think about it.  She decided to be encouraging but firm.   “Sorry, no refunds,” she posted.  “This plan is proven to work if you continue to stick with it.  Stick with it and you won’t need a refund!”

Angelica thought some more and came up with an idea.  She searched her wallet and found the address to Norbert’s off-campus apartment.  In a rush, she headed there.  

As she entered his apartment complex, she “turned heads,” even casually dressed in jeans, a t-shirt, and no make-up.  Onlookers stared.  Neighbors looked through their peepholes. 

Norbert opened the door to find Angelica, looking like an angel from heaven, standing just inches away from him.  Immediately his mouth dropped, his eyes opened wide, and his knees grew weak, very weak.           He tried to step back to a comfortable distance, but he lost his balance and fell to the ground.  Then he looked away and took a deep breath, recovering. 

“Wow, ah Angelica, how honored I am with your presence.  Please come in, madam,“ as he gestured inside.

Angelica stepped inside his apartment for the first time, looking around at all the clutter and mismatched décor.  The walls were an array of posters, record collections, and books.

“Norbert, your apartment is so, uh interesting.”

“�"h, you have yet to feast your eyes upon my most prized collection,” he said proudly as he pointed to the left wall.

She gasped.  It was a framed display, almost as big as the wall itself, displaying just about every type of insect imaginable.  In the middle, was the biggest, most disgusting life-like spider.  She could see every detail - the thick, hairy banded legs, beady black eyes staring back at her. Feeling pale and nauseous, she quickly turned the other way.

“Please, have a seat over here on the couch, away from the insects.  Sorry.”

She sat there a moment, catching her breath. 

“So, Norbert, why the interest with insects?”

“Insects are fascinating creatures of the earth.  Not everyone has such an appreciation of them as I.   Did you know their segmentation consists of a head, thorax, and abdomen?  Their head is enclosed in an epicardium, which includes, the antennae, ocellus, and the mouth parts.  The thorax is composed of 3 sections, the metathorax, mesothorax and the prothorax.  Their . .”  

“All right, all right,” she loudly interrupted, “I am not here for a science lesson,” she said sharply. She paused, then changed her tone, now speaking softly and sweetly. 

“Norbert, I need a favor,” she pleaded.

“Anything you wish, madam.”

“I need you to log into your account, so I can pretend I’m you.  I need to write a glowing review for my weight loss program.”

“Step this way, madam,” he said, as he opened the door to his office.  Little did she know about the surprise lurking in his office.

 

 

The Commotion

In the corner of the room, she spotted a chair.  Suddenly the seat cushion moved.  A lizard popped its creepy head out from under the cushion.  Its bulging eyes were very animated.  They moved side to side, exploring the room.

Angelica gasped.  She let out a  loud, blood-curdling scream.  The lizard then jumped out from the cushion and headed right toward her.  She noticed its web-like feet, its long slimy tail, its long tongue that snapped out like a snake. Terrified, she rushed for the door.

Once safely outside the apartment, she stood there, her back to the door, catching her breath, heart racing.   Her screams alerted the whole unit.  Neighbors, some concerned, some just nosy, emerged from their apartments into the hallway.  One of them, a huge muscular man in a black jacket, sunglasses and a heavy mustache, approached her. 

 “Hey sweetie, what’s wrong?” 

He stepped closer.  His voice was deep. His breath smelled of liquor.  She stepped back. 

“Tell me what happened.  Why were you screaming?  Tell me, it’s ok, it’s ok.” 

“The reason I was screaming is none of your business!” she snapped.

Even through his sunglasses, the man could see fire in her eyes, so bright and beautiful.

Just then Nobert poked his head out of the door.

The man stared at the two of them.

“Well, well, well, this makes no sense.   A drop-dead gorgeous woman like you with a dorky creep like Norbert.  You scream at the top of your lungs, run out the door, and then you pretend nothing is wrong.  Maybe the police can figure it out.”  He took out his phone and started to dial. 

“Listen mister!  Look, (she pulls out her cell phone) if I wanted to call the cops I would.  Look, (she pulls out her car keys) If I wanted to leave, I would.  And furthermore, don’t you dare call the cops.  Because when they ask me why I screamed, I will tell them exactly why.  It’s because the big man with the black jacket and sunglasses is harassing me!  Oh yeah, and by the way, he’s been drinking.”  She paused, crossed her arms, glared at him.

“Is that clear, do you understand?'' She walked toward him, like an angry barking dog, her eyes burning with rage.  The man held his hands half-way up in the air and walked backward until he hit the wall.  Without saying a word, he quickly disappeared into his apartment. 

Angelica slammed the door and locked it behind her, leaving the neighbors to gossip in the hallway.

Norbert clapped.

“Bravo.  I applaud you for such an act of bravery,” he said.   “But I caution you, I urge you, please be careful.  That gentleman is a professional wrestler, incredibly powerful.  Who knows what this gentleman is capable of doing.”

“Well, he doesn’t scare me, speaking of which . . .”

“Yes.  I apologize, I momentarily permitted Miss Lizzie to escape from the confines of her cramped cell.  After you arrived, I had entirely forgotten about the matter.  However, she is currently locked inside her cage and out of sight.”

“Thank you,” she said, feeling relieved. She took a deep breath and thought about the real reason she was there.

 

 

 

Another Review

Now, where was I?”  She returned to his office.

Minutes later, she asked, “Norbert come here, how does this sound?” She read the review out loud.

“Don’t listen to those bad reviews.  This plan works if you stick to it.  I followed it and lost 5 pounds immediately, and I am never hungry.  Thank you, Angelica, for the only diet that has ever worked for me.”

He shrugged, “Yes, perhaps I might utter those words if weight loss were to be a goal of mine.”  He paused.

“Now, how would you like to have a seat and relax while I cook dinner.”

 Moments later Nobert emerged from the kitchen wearing a chef’s hat and an apron.

“Good evening Madam, for your dining pleasure, I offer you an icy glass of lemon-lime kool aid;  a hot, steaming, savory plate of spaghetti Os;  one thick, tasty deli-sliced bologna sandwich on fresh white bread; and, to top it off, a bowl of luscious lemon jello.”

She stared at her plate of bologna, spaghetti Os and jello, then burst out laughing.

Norbert lowered his head and stared at the floor.

Angelica noticed his hurt expression and stopped laughing.

 “I’m just not hungry, that’s all.  Maybe I’ll drink the kool aid.”

 She passed the plate to him.  Norbert took one look at it and placed it in the refrigerator.  He was in no mood to eat anyway.  He poured himself a glass of kool aid and joined her.

They sat at the kitchen table, sipping on kool aid, making small talk.  After a while,  she checked her mobile device, hoping her recent post might turn things around.  It didn’t work.

There were no new orders and, even worse, a new angry review popped on the screen

Angelica took a deep breath and read it out loud:

“This so-called “diet” is a complete scam.  Do not order!  I could not get my money back, so I will reveal the big secret.  This is it:   It simply instructs you to spin around the room until you get sick and lose your appetite.  And if that doesn’t work, punch yourself in the stomach.   Who wants to get sick?!  And as far as candy goes, the instructions are that you can eat all the candy you want, just don’t remove the wrappers.  Ha, ha very funny!  And she claims we can look beautiful like her!  No amount of plastic surgery in the world could make me look like her!” 

They both sat silent for a moment while the words sunk in. Norbert broke the silence.

 “Oh, so that is the essence of the plan?”  Norbert found it all extremely amusing.  Trying very hard to suppress his urge to laugh, he broke out into a coughing fit.  “Pardon me,” he managed to say as he rushed toward the bathroom. 

 He locked the door, and continued to cough, doubled over with laughter.  He coughed so hard his eyes were watering and his glasses dropped to the floor. 

There was a knock at the door.

“Norbert, are you ok?”

“Yes, just give me a moment please.”

Norbert then sat on the edge of the tub, trying to recover.  This is really no laughing matter.  He thought about Angelica, always so cool and self-confident. 

 How ironic.  Here I am laughing at her when I am always the subject of such ridicule.  I must compose myself.      I may be eccentric, so to speak, but I am wise,  for I have inherited the wisdom of my forefathers. I must be the voice of reason. 

 Norbert slowly stood up, took a deep breath, wiped his face. He then looked in the mirror, combed his hair and splashed on some High Karate.

 

 

The Voice of Reason

He entered the living room to find Angelica sitting cross-legged on the couch, shoulders slumped, still staring blankly at her phone.  Those beautiful blue eyes had lost their sparkle.  Seeing her vulnerable for the first time, he knew he had to be strong.  He quietly took a seat next to her on the couch, closer than he had ever been before.

“Thank you for all your help,” she said, as a tear rolled down her cheek.

“My pleasure, any time,” he said softly.

They sat there silently for a moment, both staring at the ground, classical music played in the background.  She broke the silence.

“What do you really think I should do?” she inquired, as she wiped away tears.

“My candid view on the matter would be to honor their refund request.   Apologize.  They will understand.”

 She slowly nodded.  “Yes, you are right.   I just, I wanted so much to succeed.”

“Yes, but the entire process of developing a new product or idea involves endurance and persistence.  First and foremost, it involves setting and exploring your target market.  All of which cannot possibly be accomplished in a mere 48 hours.”

She laughed.  “Yes, I’ll admit that I’m used to getting what I want when I want it.  Call me impulsive.”

“Evidently, your loyal subscribers are not the type of ladies who desire to curb their appetite with an unhealthy dose of nausea.  I’d say it’s nerds like me who are more receptive to such an alternative weight loss plan.”

 “Really, you would try it?” she asked incredulously.

 “Certainly, some day.”He smiled to himself.  Should he tease her, maybe just a little?  He continued. 

“The day will come when I reach the age of maturity, and I can pinch more than an inch from my tummy.  Hunger will come over me.  I am tempted by a sweet assortment of chocolate candy, but never fear, I’m in control.  Why?  Because  the candy wrapper is extremely offensive to the palate.  I then spin around the room, faster and faster and faster until I fall to the ground, nauseous.  Dinner will have to wait.”

She smiled, “Ok, funny, I get the point.  My plan was super silly, although I will say it does work for me when I crave sweets.”

 

“But we’ll research possibilities, and eventually we will discover the path to your golden opportunity.”  He paused and smiled, “May I suggest reptile breeding?  Insect taxidermy?”

“Funny.”

 “In the meantime, continue with your present endeavors.”

 “Sounds like a plan,'' she said.  Angelica glanced at her watch.  “Oh, look at the time.  I have to go.” She shouted into Norbert’s office, “Good riddance Miss Lizzie.”

 

 

Star Bright

He walked her out the door, into the chill of the night air.  Together they walked silently until they reached the door of her white Cavalier. They stood facing each other.  The moon cast light upon her as she looked up at him, looking so incredibly beautiful in the moonlight.  He found the courage to take one tiny step closer, then another.  He looked deeply into her eyes.  He took in her heavenly scent. 

 Norbert found himself caught up in a euphoric daze, pure ecstasy rushed through him from head to toe, pumping through his bloodstream, making him dizzy.  He grew weaker and weaker.  Suddenly feeling very weak, he had to lean against the side of her car.

 And then bam!  Suddenly she opened the car door and turned to go.

Startled, he jumped out of the way.

“Good night,” she said as she shut the door and turned the key.  Sadly, he watched her drive away. 

As he walked back toward his apartment, he took a moment to enjoy the cool, clear spring night.  He took a seat on the front steps. The night was quiet.  The moon was full.  The stars were bright.  He sighed, looked up, and spotted the brightest star. 

“Star bright, star light, please help her see me as the man I really am, not this clumsy, awkward nerd.  Please help her see me as more than a friend,“  he said out loud to himself.

 At that moment, he spotted a white car turning into the parking lot. 

He thought to himself, Could it be? Yes, it’s Angelica! Did she forget something?

Angelica drove slowly around the corner, window rolled down, her hair flowing freely in the wind.   She pressed her hand against her luscious red lips, blew him a kiss, and drove away.

 As he watched her drive off, he touched the spot on his cheek where the kiss might have landed.  That kiss in the wind.  It’s a sign from the star!  He smiled to himself.  There was hope.