FIRE'S DAY OFF

09 28 14

Blistering compulsion

emanates impatiently

from the compound of each

successive mouthful's

jading anticlimax

　

Ideas shrivel into ideals

in an automation as profound

and abrupt as a single breath

　

Where did the doctrine's

intimation meddle off to

when the honest student's eyes

drooped just dramatically enough

to validate the severance

of a smile's storm-inspired rebuild?

　

Which of the redundant swallows

enveloped aptitude's savvy

inhalations of responsive empathy?

　

Compulsion lives albeit

as an oil-water offspring

　

Contradictions of the tidiest symmetry

groom the grounds

for the most bewitchingly-attired

crisis of identity

　

Intentions stick around

in wry amusement

trying to be dialed up

amid the effortless convenience

of a wireless environment

abused by a misanthropic conjuring

of an electrical disturbance

in the bubbles of a drowning

citizen of common sense

Author's Note

Reviews

[Frieda P]

You set fire to the rain here Benji. I could take this so many places and then some, starting with a jaded anticlimax. We seem to live automated lives in this day and age but life's poetry keeps our human sides alive. Your last stanza is priceless, where might those citizens of common sense be at? Ha...just saying. I have to away, but I'll be absorbing this one all afternoon. :) xo

[kublakhan27]

Haha I feel like there is more poetry in your review than the poem Mrs.R...I don't think this piece is all that great, at least in terms of cohesion, but I'm glad there is enough food for thought in it to give it some kind of relevance...I'm still absorbing it myself to be honest haha Thanks so much love :) xo

[Ohhhwillow]

Powerful word choice, though still none the wiser of what this is about! It sounds lovely, anyway. :)

[kublakhan27]

Haha Don't worry, I'm still working this one out in my own mind...so glad you enjoyed it Willow :)

[Butch Decatoria]

Ideas shrivel into ideals....

This is absolutely profound... Awesome piece.

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much PF :)

[Einstein Noodle]

"jading anticlimax" brilliant says i! brilliant!

whenever i read poetry like this it reminds me of something Bob Dillon said way back when in an interview (probably with Dick Cavett) Bobby was asked about the meaning of one of his songs (probably All Along the Watch Tower) his response was basically i have no idea! i just wrote it! ;)

we meet life and define and re-define ourselves all the time .. i am always captivated by your words and phrasing as i stumble through this poem you do not disappoint .. one can go off on many tangent alleyways or not .. these lines hold me there .. just thinking about it ..
"Compulsion lives albeit
as an oil-water offspring" .. i'm like what the hell???? its just so savory ..

E.

[kublakhan27]

Haha A fitting quote with regards to this one my friend...I guess you could say I 'just wrote' this one, and I never feel great about ones I 'just write'...this one is pretty scatterbrained I think, but maybe that's a part of its appeal...perhaps each part was a refection of that eternal redefining...so glad you enjoyed it though E, it's always nice to know that my words have the ability to take readers to different places :)

[Einstein Noodle]

good job says i! :) good job!

[kublakhan27]

Haha Thanks man, you know your support means the world :)

[B-poet]

The questioning imagery's remind me of well written hyperbole's meant to shed light upon a given theme. This a very distinguished and well articulated piece you've put together here Kubla. Great work. A uniquely scripted write & read. :)

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much B, I struggled with direction in this one...it just didn't feel cohesive to me and still doesn't...but your review has put my mind at ease...so glad you enjoyed it :)

[Bright Ocean Star]

Kublakhan, these stanza/statements or interrogatories ask philosophical questions better left for men with more ages of sage wisdom than I have to contemplate, but the word usage is stunning in its depth and alliteration. "Contradictions of the tidiest symmetry groom the grounds for the most bewitchingly-attired crisis in identity"...It's a beautiful mindful of wonder to behold. Many people find the wireless existence mind-numbing, yet when electricity goes off, and they can't communicate via computers, they are hopelessly lost. I'm not sure if that's where you were taking this, but I love the complexity of the argument...:)

[kublakhan27]

Haha Don't worry, I have absolutely no answers for these questions myself...I'm not even entirely sure what I'm asking, truth be told...I kind of lost this one somewhere along the way and never really got it back...you are spot-on in your assessments on the wireless existence though...as long as the power is running, I think the good outweighs the bad, but when face-to-face communication is necessary, many of us are in trouble, especially someone like me who is an awful verbal communicator to begin with haha...so glad you enjoyed this one my friend :)

[Bright Ocean Star]

you're very welcome!

[Lydia Shutter]

We all know oil and water don't mix....so no wonder there is an identity crisis going on here. Not fish, not fowl....not water, not fire. Common sense you say? Is there still such a thing? Often I doubt there is. The road to hell is paved with good intentions...and it might as well be the yellow brick road. Sometimes we just can not do the things we want to do....no matter how right they might be. I liked the psychological push and pull in this one, Steve. Good work. Lydi**

[kublakhan27]

Haha No, I think common sense is dying a slow death in the electronic age...honestly I think your review carries more wisdom than the poem itself, which I'm not overly happy with, but maybe the scatterbrained feel that has me so uneasy actually helps convey the message, I'm not really sure...either way, I'm glad that this one spoke to you my friend....as always, you know just where I'm coming from...thank you Lydi :)

[Pryde Foltz]

Intentions stick around
in wry amusement
trying to be dialed up
amid the effortless convenience
of a wireless environment
abused by a misanthropic conjuring
of an electrical disturbance
in the bubbles of a drowning
citizen of common sense

The internet certainly has turned everything on its head. The bright side however may be that it peace more profitable, Great one, Steve.

[kublakhan27]

Truth be told, I'm grateful for the internet for I wouldn't have the friends that I have without it...so glad you enjoyed this one Pryde, I thought it might have sounded a bit scatterbrained haha

[Briana O'Connor]

I love the depth you packed into this piece. The emotion and imagery included in each line really pulled me into a story or alluring fantasy. Thank you for sharing.

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much my friend, I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

[Lyn Anderson]

You do sarcasm and bitter very well, although it is nice when you walk on the lighter side, we go where the muse takes us.

[kublakhan27]

The muse left me rather dizzy after this one...I feel like this piece lacks direction, but I definitely felt the need to do something lighter in the wake of a lot of my recent stuff...glad you enjoyed this one.

[anne]

what shall i say for this...its powerful and last paragraph amazing....hats off... :))

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much Anne, I'm glad you enjoyed it :)