Seems yet again, your first line steers us in a direction of your choosing Benji, disregarding garden metaphors, and not acknowledged as a traitor....if even poetry can't figure it out, we're in deep hurt here. I love the 'insane dreamcatcher' especially when preceded by the 'knotted noose' just two of my favorite phrases. I'm feeling oddly exasperated and out of breath, the imagery of your convoluted sentiment's resentment, is as always, stellar, and boggles the mind of your genius at work Steve .... :) xo
Posted 10 Years Ago
3 of 3 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Ha, trust me, I did not want to give it such a deliberate title, but I would bet money that this wou.. read moreHa, trust me, I did not want to give it such a deliberate title, but I would bet money that this would have been interpreted widely as a Judas story without it...I wish it was actually, but no, it's all me, and yes, there are times when even poetry is not enough...I felt pretty good after I wrote it, but now I find myself where I usually am, relying on your support, and the few others that have commented, to convince me that this is a better piece than I think it is...ha if the poem exasperated you, you must be ready to whack me now...it might knock some things back into place Mrs.R ;) Thanks so much Frieda, it always makes my day better knowing you enjoyed one of my poems :)
Well Steve your superpower of coining impressive phrases just makes my jaw turn slack. Internal agitation' s infinite shelf,just whoa for this one. I liked the way you have hinted to self imposed solitude - emotional sterility. The ending is far from awesome.insane dream catcher this phrase just shows how ruthlessly we follow our dreams. Well i must say.dont accuse me about being judas i would rather go after my dreams rather than you. Brilliant one K.K.love and wishes :)
"...than incessant forays into
the supremely-knotted noose
selfishly aborting air like an insane dreamcatcher"
what were you even thinking? this is amazing Kubby
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Haha Nothing worthy of public declaration...this is just where my head has been lately...so glad you.. read moreHaha Nothing worthy of public declaration...this is just where my head has been lately...so glad you enjoyed it K.
"Not About Judas" .. i'm like ok! so its probably about judas :)) just kidding ;)
i love the way you write .. nothing is what it seems ..
"...schizophrenic ceasefire" in contrast to " ... internal agitation's infinite shelf life" are bedazzling .. i have friends and family that are and or have suffered from these kinds of challenges .. and i do mean suffering .. not only with illnesses but societal afflicting even more .. so bravo for peeling some of these pages .. last four lines are absolutely killer .. another wonderful poem on very important things ..and always such marvelous word usage ... as well as poetic ..
E.
Haha I can understand that reaction, it's certainly the kind of thing I would do ;P Truth be told, .. read moreHaha I can understand that reaction, it's certainly the kind of thing I would do ;P Truth be told, I hate the title and I need to come up with another one cuz this one is way too direct...I only gave it this title cuz it sounds so much like Judas that I was sure it would be interpreted that way unless I pointed it out...
I do understand where you're coming from my friend...I also have close relatives who have and continue to struggle with many such issues...my Dad had a lot of the same issues I do when he was still around...maybe I had him in mind a bit while writing this one...for that reason, I'm very glad that this one spoke to you E...I know they're not the best circumstances to relate to, but it's nice to know that someone out there understands where I'm coming from, and you've always done that...thanks so much :)
10 Years Ago
i am over flowed bro! manly hugs to you and yours .. all around .. big manly hugs :) and love! .. read morei am over flowed bro! manly hugs to you and yours .. all around .. big manly hugs :) and love!
E.
I apologize by I can't seem to understand what are meaning to convey. There are snap shots of allusions and imagery, but I think it flew right over my head. Can you clarify for me, just for the sake of a curious non-intellectual like myself. You are a great poet, but sometimes I think your subject matter is so heavy that the poem loses its airy mystique. Who am I to say, feelings are suppose to have weigh, but at the same time purposeful wonder... You are more profound than words can convey.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Well, I'm not sure if this one was really meant to be clear...it is heavy definitely, but I was hopi.. read moreWell, I'm not sure if this one was really meant to be clear...it is heavy definitely, but I was hoping that it would be open to interpretation...I should probably mention too that I'm not always necessarily going for words that make sense logically...sometimes I simply like to put words together that sound good phonetically within a flow if spoken out loud or within one's mind, since rhythm and sound are also important parts of poetry...it's hard to explain beyond that, my writing just comes out like this sometimes...thank you for the review.
I have earned the turns away in apathy
in the corrupted wake of an alchemic mass's
counteraction to a paperweight of options
I love the use of the alchemy here for its double entendre … lead to gold and the chemic sense … suffering to awakening. A really fine write, Steve.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
So glad you enjoyed this one Pryde, thank you...it came from a deep dark place that I try not to vis.. read moreSo glad you enjoyed this one Pryde, thank you...it came from a deep dark place that I try not to visit too often...
I get a whiff of self analysis here but I lost my self trying to spend those tarnished coins and now i'm swinging in the open air of life as a dreamcatcher, so mate go catch those dreams and call up the self inflicted results.....apart from that I love it! My high esteem for you has never been so steamed, thank you :)
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Haha Oh it's self-analysis alright, probably too much of it for my own good...so glad you enjoyed it.. read moreHaha Oh it's self-analysis alright, probably too much of it for my own good...so glad you enjoyed it my friend, I always enjoy your unique insights :)
my friend, you hone your craft like a puzzle piece, as well as it is abstract in thought - profound by the used of vocabolary(in which I'm always amaze). It takes a very smart person to decipher your piece, on which i am not :), but I can only feel how outburst of your emotions here on the future & the mandane life of the society. Very amusing piece, yet again!
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
You sell yourself short my friend, your writing is as smart as anyone's I've read...so glad you enjo.. read moreYou sell yourself short my friend, your writing is as smart as anyone's I've read...so glad you enjoyed this one, thanks so much :)
Not about Judas at all, though a bit of betrayal by poetry that cannot make things right. "Insane dreamcatcher" has me pondering - is the catcher insane... or are the dreams it catches so? ...
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
A good question my friend, I'm still wondering about that myself...so glad you enjoyed it Rita :)
I'm already late in reviewing this poem, it seems, and have seen a number of other opinions about it. I understand how it resonates the readers. Your talent for precision in word use is indeed evident again. Yes, it seems a little convoluted, but it definitely works. Food for thought. Outstanding once more!
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Truth be told, my confidence is not at overly high level right now...even though the response to thi.. read moreTruth be told, my confidence is not at overly high level right now...even though the response to this one has been mostly good, I still have reservations about this one, and the poem I'm currently working on is doing little to ease my distress, but as always, your support convinces me to dust myself on and keep going...so glad you enjoyed this one Jennie, thank you :)
i love your writing, but i doubt you know why.. i read this, as i do all your work, (yes i am one of those, but not for the reasons you think)
your use of language and the way you construct your feelings.. and thoughts.. are the very definition of unique, but it is not that alone that draws me back to your page, no... its you...
you are real and disturbingly honest... a rare quality for a poet
i thank you for sharing this, in the way that only you can.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thanks so much Mark...what can I say, I am nothing if not confessional, and to be honest, I'm usuall.. read moreThanks so much Mark...what can I say, I am nothing if not confessional, and to be honest, I'm usually depressed after I finish a poem, especially when I labour over something and don't think it's any good...such was the case with this one, but a review such as this makes me feel so much better...it means the world to know that I can speak to someone and resonate with someone on such a deep level...your support means more than you know...again I thank you my friend, wholeheartedly :)
My first book is out! Any comments that anyone may have to offer regarding my work would be deeply appreciated, as I'm yet to get a review.
www.amazon.com/Waltz-Around-Swirls-Steven-Fortune/dp.. more..