POEMS SING BUT TEARS DON'T DANCE

09 11 14

I am trapped in a vagabond's reflex
stuttered by the soft corrosion of
an untimely rain's adamance of inactivity

I'm a disembodied circle
resigned to the infinite conscience
of a superfluous cycle
shuddering in time-limit dreams of
a Sarabande solicitation to validate
timidity's zealous hunger to be toppled
yet my lips of invitation insist
on a fault line of fearful obstinance
and my feet twitch in numb slumber
amplifying the severity of this
stubborn state of waking in the ears
of my misoneistic complexes

Fingers smuggle intermittent inclinations
of a salient word or two into my
nocturnal executions of self-dialogue

But this Great Flood of a saturnine night
has swayed away from my topography
of salvation in verbose articulation

I'm a circle pared down by the blades
of rain to a period

A diminutive dotting of finality acknowledged
only in the inconvenience of its absence

Author's Note

Some nights are just beyond saving...

Reviews

[Frieda P]

Tears might not dance but your poetry does indeed. For 'lips are a fault line', you send out perfect vibrations in your creativity's wake. First time I've read 'Sarabande' in a poem, figures you'd pen it dear Steve. Your words dance in triple metre and then some....never beyond saving, when you can write affecting poetry such as this. A sad ditty, smile Benji> and dance the night blues away. :) xo

[kublakhan27]

Your reviews always have a way of making me smile love, and I always feel better than I did before I see them...I knew you'd tap into that image right way, right down to its technique ;) I'm not done with this piece actually, the ending especially has to be redone, it doesn't quite make sense, not to me anyway haha So glad that this one spoke to you Frieda, let's hope the blues can be danced away soon :) xo

[Frieda P]

See you expanded the diminutive dance...it worked for me before but now it's more perfect, if that's possible. :) 'salvation in verbose articulation' Wish i had thought of that line, xo

[kublakhan27]

Haha I told you there were changes in the works love...I'm much more content with it now, and thankfully I didn't mess up any of the things you liked originally ;) xo

[Eve Ola]

POEMS SING BUT TEARS DON'T DANCE your title actually bring me here. Its really great and rich penning. Thanks for sharing

[kublakhan27]

Thanks very much Eve :)

[Rita L. Sev]

I feel the weight of this one, Steve. Your words do indeed sing, a melancholy lullaby... Amazing poetry...

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much Rita...this one came from a deep dark place, I'm not gonna lie...I'm glad that it spoke to you :)

[Lyn Anderson]

Even without the note this poem has a very fatalistic give up feel to it. The point is well conveyed with vocabulary. Second last stanza consider making it three lines instead of 2

[kublakhan27]

I like the idea, but I made it two to stay true to the overall shape of the piece...I may still change it though...glad you enjoyed it.

[AprilRN1210]

"Fingers smuggle intermittent inclinations
of a salient word or two into my
nocturnal executions of self-dialogue".... wow.... .. can so relate to this... some nights are better than others... ((hugs)) to you my friend... this one is so touching....

[kublakhan27]

True my friend, and some nights are all-out dreadful...I'd never like to think anyone is sad as me sometimes (well actually I would, just not my friends), but I'm glad that you could relate to this one...thanks so much April ((hugs))

[redzone]

Yep, last four lines just blows me away, like the others you have commented on them.. But it seems that everything you verbalize in the poem - from the "vagabond's reflex" and "I'm a disembodied circle" move toward this conclusion... Amazing poetry Steve, truly amazing.. I never was a fan of Handel, too godly for me (perhaps because I sang in the church choir when I was young and every year at Christmas we sang "The Messaih" it always depressed me even though it was meant to be "up lifting").. but this piece from Handel that you used added depth to your poem I think...

~~redzone

[kublakhan27]

Haha Well I'll put it this way...when I put classical music with a poem, it means I'm having a rotten night haha It was more about the dance itself though, which is really the central image of the whole thing, though yes, it does all lead to that end...if you wanna know a secret, this one started with the end...the beginning came next, then the middle...I did struggle with this one, and it's actually a total reworking of the original version I had posted...thank you as always for understanding my friend.

[Kleio13]

This would be an awesome poem to recite on stage. Great work and I love these lines :"I'm a disembodied circle
resigned to the infinite conscience" and "But this Great Flood of a saturnine night
has swayed away from my topography
of salvation in verbose articulation". EPIC

[kublakhan27]

A great compliment coming from one who has experience in that department...so glad you enjoyed this one my friend...I hold this one very close to the chest.

[Kleio13]

(I'm bowing to you). And my friend this would touch my ears

[Patricia]

Excellent! I don't even know where to start to review this poem...every point is sharply articulated. The opening is a great set up to the flow, the opening has to grab a reader and you did....the rest flowed so well and so many great original and great lines. Wonderful write :)))

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much for the kind words, I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

[Patricia]

You are very welcome K! Keep up the great work!!!!

[redflutterby]

The music soothed me...like a mothers hand stroking a child's fevered head. For a few blessed minutes my mind could focus on the words of this amazing poem. The last four lines seemed to pierce my heart...I know that feeling well. Some nights are beyond saving....like the ones where my poetry is silent and my tears dance down my cheeks. I wish it was otherwise....

[kublakhan27]

Your words truly warm my heart my friend...as much as I wish you didn't have to relate to my incessant forays into melancholy, I'm glad to know that there is someone out there that relates...this poem didn't save that night, and the nights that have followed have not felt much better...I wish it were otherwise for both of us, but I'll continue to soldier on and I hope you will as well...thanks so much for reading and understanding my friend.

[Matching Socks]

Last four lines are MONEY.
Nice job buddy.

[kublakhan27]

So glad you enjoyed it bud, thank you :)

[Kelly Scheppers]

"I'm a circle pared down by the blades
of rain to a period"

I am at a loss for words...and you have such a plethora of them, dancing through streams of Handel!

[kublakhan27]

So glad that this one spoke to you Kelly, it came from a deep and dark place as you can probably guess...thanks so much for the kind words, they mean more than you know :)