VANILLA BOY

09 03 14

Defining me
is spelling out
a hundred-letter word
Essence of existence seized
in a vowel-less commute
through a dreamless sleep
between the suns
of definition and identity
Applications of passivity
become of me then bail
on potential to become me
Nothing here to see
say the signature police
Move along evolving as you were
Vicissitude's aloof
to the morose settlement
cited only in a mime around
the fringes of inclusion's
stunned recess
Outspokenness seduces
in its transparent slip of tongues
Intellectual arousal cowers
under impotence of
aural relevance
Praying to the ghost of
Helen Keller for a shadow
based influence
I resent my senses
on the basis of
their comfort on a fence
Why am I denied
essential evidence?
What nuances seal
the appeal of pretense?
I can lay no claim to tragedy
I'm too preoccupied
with verbal travesties
and inclinations of Van Gogh's spite
towards awarded senses
I'm inclined to take my eyes first
like an inconveniently
enlightened Oedipus
or have them taken from me
by a b*****d boy
keen to my attempts
at nurturing to health
the wrongings of divine right
Gloucestershire sauce
imprints a bitter stain
on my incessant appetite
for gluttonous libations
of assured affirmations

Author's Note

Reviews

[Sophy Freebirds]

I used to just pop in and out of the cafe. But when i came across this title i had it bookmarked.. and steve i am so glad i did so. I really liked the start-hundred lettered word. Ahh yeah! You can't define yourself. Yes i may be abstract. So what! I don't pretend so how come can you like me. The end was just majestic- van gogh's spite,enlightened oedipus, glouchestershire sauce...!! It was just so cleverly written just the way only K.K can write.. :) Great!!

~Sophy

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much Sophy, I knew you'd know just where I was coming from here ;) I am nothing if not abstract, maybe that's why your work resonates so deeply with me...but having said that, I don't find you 'abstract' per se, your writing is always rich in layers and meanings and messages, and I think that gets confused for abstract a lot...so glad you enjoyed this one my friend, your kind words have made my night as they often do :)

[Zahra]

between the suns
of definition and identity
Applications of passivity
become of me then bail
on potential to become me

Really profound. Love your unique writing style. Well penned sir

[MomzillaNC]

This is a really wonderful poem. The striving, the journey through this world… the struggle to illuminate and define our meaning, our reason to be… Truly exhaustive in your themes.

One minor copy edit, though: I think it would read better, and allow you to push the reader along your own inflection, if you added punctuation and broke the poem into stanzas.

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Momzilla :)

[MomzillaNC]

You're welcome.

[realmwriter]

This is far from vanilla but it all speeks to a bordem that cannot so easily be satiated. Incredibly well written piece. Very fun to read. the intermingled rhymes the rhythem and the flow, all like a river leading you to a place that you've been time and again untill you find yourself inexorably bored with the very thing that brought you to where you are. Brilliant really.

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much my friend...I must admit that it was not a fun piece to write, I was pretty depressed at the time, but it has been a lot of fun receiving the feedback that I've gotten, which has been much more positive than I could have imagined, and makes me feel much better about myself...so glad you enjoyed this one.

[realmwriter]

I did indeed and you are very welcome. I hope you find yourself in a better place today and that you don't let it, whatever it may be, get you down.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

damn like Frieda said...so why don't you cut off your fingers so you can't write anymore.
the speaker here is so self-depricating...

look at me...i am nothing but a hundred meaningless words, just a shallow existence, a poet not worth a look....my signature means nothing.

great poem, Steve...i feel this way pretty often too...like all my stuff is crap...

and i constantly need reassurance.

you write me so often with your words...

so much so here, you almost made me depressed.

You Are Good! so Good.

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much Jacob, your support and kind words are a constant pick-me-up, which I need as you know, and you know how much I value and relate to your work as well...you're one of the few writers I can approach knowing I'll find something I relate to in every piece....so sorry I almost made you depressed...I do feel a bit better today though...

[Frieda P]

I was waiting for you to write this one, but not expecting Vanilla in the title, an introduction to the
thickness evolving as a bland existence, we can't all be as flavor-fully colored as chili-chocolate, first off it's exhausting and second....most people really like vanilla the best you know!

Love Van Gogh's spite, I expect he was feeling the same in that moment, it's not easy being a genius is it Dali? ;)

....sometimes when we sit on the fence we confuzzle the hell out of ourselves, not taking a stand, can be quite the kerfuffle of a fight within....we all seek some type of approval & recognition and it's grand when people can appreciate our knack at some kind of talent...if there are those that can't see your genius, let them cut off their own ear, since they're lacking the capacity to see greatness when it crosses their paths. Perhaps they need to pray to the ghost of Helen Keller too. Just saying... ;)

Your admirers know your talent exceeds all limits, and I'm at the top of that list, so add a few tasty sprinkles to that vanilla, and smile Benji. :) xo

[kublakhan27]

Haha Vanilla ice-cream is what most people like love, vanilla people are a different story...but as always, you have a way of making me forget how wretched I was feeling when I write such pieces, and making me wonder why I was feeling that way in the first place :)

You know how it is with me, I just get these moods sometimes...it's so much easier to bemoan what you don't have than it is to appreciate what you do...you know how much my friends and their support mean to me, and it truly means the world having you at the top of the list...I can't guarantee that I'll ever be able to let this subject die, nor can I guarantee that I'll never stop writing about it, but having you here, and a few others, and receiving reviews such as this, that means more than any of these forays into whinging will ever mean...these poems are merely bad days, and I already feel better today...thanks for the smile Mrs.R :) xo

[Frieda P]

Don't make me go down that rocky road again haah ;) Glad you've come out of your bland mayo funk. MWAH! xo

[kublakhan27]

Haha Rocky road...is that a pun Mrs.R? ;) Don't worry, I won't make you go back down that road, unless you wanna go for ice cream...MWAH! xo

[Frieda P]

Ha you got it, it's a combination of marshmallows AND chocolate, go figure.;) x

[kublakhan27]

Haha You're making my sweet tooth vibrate love ;) x

[R Smith]

I resent my senses
on the basis of
their comfort on a fence

I think for me this says it all, the senses can see the world and give light and knowledge to it but unable to define the meaning of our reason to be here, 'go to the mirror boy' but only darkness stares back, just the spirit sees the pinball

[kublakhan27]

So glad you enjoyed it Richard, thank you...you are spot-on in your review, right down to the pinball :)

[AYVID N]

"Essence of existence seized
in a vowel-less commute
through a dreamless sleep
between the suns
of definition and identity"


"
I can lay no claim to tragedy
I'm too preoccupied
with verbal travesties
and inclinations of Van Gogh's spite
towards awarded senses
I'm inclined to take my eyes first
like an inconveniently
enlightened Oedipus"

An exploration of self...A questioning of existence...of the futility of the senses...
This poem is a spark of a brilliantly poetic mind on a voyage of determination of self... trying to search for a truth that would make everything more meaningful....something worthwhile.


I also sense an exasperation at the perception of us that people have and that is just not us.

The struggle within the self is to be endured as it is perplexing...difficult and most of the times we have to leave it half-way without a conclusion as our time is up. Because we are too complex a beings to ever understand ourselves.

You even outdid yourself at several points in this poem.

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much as always for taking the time to offer such a deep and understanding review my friend...this poem is all of those things and probably a few other things too...I was indeed exasperated when I wrote it, and struggling, I'll be honest about that...no, there are no easy answers, in fact, there may be no answers at all, but I can live with that if it keeps me writing...as bittersweet as the activity can be, I still do it because I enjoy it above all else, and I always will enjoy it above else...and of course, the support I get from you for my work goes a long way in keeping it enjoyable, and keeping me confident, which is a full-time job...so glad you enjoyed this one Divya, thank you again :)

[AYVID N]

You are most welcome Steve :)
You said you can live with it if it keeps you writing. Your comment made me think of Sylvia Plath....It is exactly this struggle, the angst that result in genius poetic outbursts. So it is always a delight to read you.

[kublakhan27]

She is a big influence and a favourite of many of my friends here, so perhaps I'm channeling her a bit...always a delight to hear from you as well my friend :)

[redzone]

"see me, feel me, touch me, heal me".... perfect music for a poem crying out for "assured affirmations" and answers to "Why am I denied
essential evidence?"... but Steve, last time I checked "vanilla (7) boy (3)= 10 and there needs to be at least 90 more letters to define you... unless we need to just repeat these letters over and over again til 100..if you ask me I say fook those signature police, cause there's lots to see here... I mean, ghosts of Helen Keller and Van Gogh never gave up his eyes.. no Steve, there's is lots to see here, in fact your poem over flows with seeing, feeling, touching and hopefully some healing you... and Steve, affirmation is nice, but hughly over rated... but your poem sure points you in affirmations direction... yep, I enjoyed it and am putting it into my favorites

~~redzone

[kublakhan27]

LOL You've made me laugh with your always-unique observations my friend, and I needed the laugh...beyond that, I'm really quite speechless...I can only smile and tell you how much I appreciate the support as I always do...yes, I do exhaust an awful lot of emotion on my obsession with affirmation when I probably shouldn't, but I do find it in reviews such as this one...so glad you enjoyed this one Curt, I'm actually fond of this one myself, and that's not something you'll hear me say often haha ;)

[Matching Socks]

Dude, you're Neopolitan all the way buddy!
Chocolate that we love.
Strawberry for when we want something different and taste tingling...
And vanilla for those wtf moments.

[kublakhan27]

Haha And that's why I identify with the vanilla so much my friend, too many wtf moments, especially around here...it is my favourite ice cream though, and my favourite scent, but neopolitan is good...actually I'm craving ice cream now...;P

[Jennie Baron]

Ingenious, my friend! It so eloquently expresses the complexity and uncertainty within all of us.

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much Jennie, I'm always humbled and encouraged by your kind words :)