A NAME IN BURNED-OUT LIGHTS

08 08 14

A want of ambition to be overblown
circumvents a poet's oath
taken by me to assist in my
ear canal's scribbled chiseling
to allow the entertainment
of as many scores of
understanding voices
as a poet can absorb

A bearable aesthetic hangover
in the pain of culminated decibels
sure enough asphyxiated on the alter ego
soreness in the hush of revelation
that the lion's share of voices
understood some other poets
in a brighter introspective light

To a turgid degree
they were outsmarted by the
quivering suppression of my roar
beneath a cankered tongue of ink

Ambition is the retort of health
to lethargy's undoing disorder
Now I yearn with smirks immune
to health for that lethargy
to call out my jealousy of
satisfied readers and their voices
entertained in the company
of more deserving ears

Author's Note

Captcha: hammerer

Reviews

[Sheila Kline]

Steve, you only have to reach one person with the right message to be a hero, a superstar, a saving grace, a knight in shining armor so just be yourself, write because you enjoy it and don't worry about who is impressed, and who is not. So, I'm gonna pull a Shakespeare on you, "To thine own self be true"! You are GREAT, you don't need the approval of other writers to prove it!!

[kublakhan27]

You've made me smile on a night when I didn't think it possible my friend...I don't know, I just feel invisible on some nights...to simply say thank you doesn't seem adequate, but I have no other words...you know how much your support means to me though, it transcends words...I'll go to bed feeling better about myself than I did before I received your review...thank you Sheila :)

[Sheila Kline]

Ah, that's nice..............have a good night's sleep my friend!!!

[Renée]

o0o Jealousy not a nice look at all.. yet human, like this piece you wrote.. vulnerable
Your title made me think of an old movie called "What ever happened to Baby Jane" about what jealousy can drive a person to …
Well Done K !

[kublakhan27]

I've never seen the movie but I remember the title...no, it's not a very good thing, but what can I say, at least I got a poem out of it haha Thank you Renee :)

[Renée]

lol that you did ! ( :

[Michael G. Smith]

Excellent testimony to truth.

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Michael.

[Matching Socks]

This totally deserves to be on the popular writing, as do all of yours actually.
Except for the steamy ones, I'll keep those for my own private collection.
Also... Always so impressed with your taste in music. It's my passion.
I used to work in a record store all through school, Sam the Record Man.

[kublakhan27]

That's pretty cool that you got to work at Sam's...that would have been my dream job...I have at least 300 albums so I share that passion...you've pretty much nailed the essence of this piece...I have an irrational obsession with the popular list...I won't say that all of my stuff should make it to there, but it definitely eats on me that many of my friends are there on a regular basis while I'm lucky to get on there two or three times a month...I get wonderful reviews and support from my friends but I don't get the numbers, which I crave even though I hate myself for craving such a thing, even though I blame it more on my depression than an actual need for attention...but like I said, the support I get from you and a few other dear friends makes it all better, everything else is just whinging really...I'm happy that you enjoyed and understood this one, not to mention the steamy ones haha Thank you my friend..x

[Matching Socks]

I'm up there very rarely ... Doesn't mean your stuff isn't good. :)
And yeah, Sam's was cool. I worked at the head office for a bit after school...
Got tickets to all the best concerts, film festivals, record release parties, met some really cool famous people. :P
Definitely a great job at the time...

[kublakhan27]

I see you on there a lot lately though ;) It's alright, I assume my stuff is good only because of the constant reassurance of my friends...self-esteem is hardly my strong suit...see, I needed a job like that when I was younger...I would have been a lot happier, if happiness was possible under the circumstances...

[Matching Socks]

Blah blah blah... ;)
Chin up darlin'
Remember me when you're famous.
Of course, for artists that comes after death doesn't it... Yikes.
Well, all the best then. :)

[kublakhan27]

Haha And that would be just my luck :P Oh well, something to strive for I guess haha You know I'd never forget you though :)

[Matching Socks]

Yeah, I know. I'd be the living person that haunts the ghost...

[Kenneth The Poet]

I love the second stanza most. Reminds me of the empty can metaphor.

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Kenneth, glad you enjoyed it.

[Sophy Freebirds]

As a writer i ought to love it!! To a turgid degree they were outsmarted... yepp.!!people envy you cause they can't be you.. :) so K.K be proud to be a vessel of jealousy. Every writer has his own style and expression.No two writers are the same.yes you have rightly mentioned that some few poets will clearly understand the depth of the poem.In here in WC we are all your friends. We love your writing style.. vent up your feelings :) don't be too self- conscious.. ★ takecare★

~Sophy

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much Sophy, you always bring a smile to my face with your reviews :) I console myself with the possibility that I'm simply not an easy writer to review...still you want to acknowledged, and I know I have you and some other dear friends here that genuinely understand me, and take the time to understand me, but more often than not, I find myself feeling hurt over the lack of attention I get here from an overall standpoint...I'm always going to be compelled to write poems such as this one, but whenever I do, I just remember my friends and I feel better...I just have this need to vent once in a while...I've worked hard at staying in a positive frame of mind for as long as I can, but I do have lapses...so glad you enjoyed this one my friend...obviously it's a personal piece so I'm glad that can understand where I'm coming from :)

[Sophy Freebirds]

Ohh dear. As i say every day has its night.every person has his own low times.. but you are a great writer and be proud of being you :) we will be there for you.. it was a pleasure amigo

[Relic]

I'm sure I said it once before in my bio that I am a simple writer and therefore a simple reader. That doesn't mean I don't appreciate technical-type writes that go deep. I've read your replies to April. I think we all have a jealous streak in us that lies underneath. Most of us can handle it even if we hurt to some degree. Seeing others do better can make us question our worth and abilities. The "what am I doing here" syndrome might even pop up.

I think it all boils down to perspective and release. You are a fine writer and have improved over time. As far as ego is concerned, I think a healthy bit of ego is a good thing. Athletes use it, business men use it. Anyone with ambition does. But writing to me is more of that release and also a cleansing. If you enjoy it, then do it.
I've watched my review numbers plunge but I don't mind anymore because I'm not competing and I know I have some talent at it. That for me is good enough.

You may also be a perfectionist witch is not always a good thing. A perfectionist has a hard time accepting mistakes, low points and the risk of failure. They bring down his/her self-esteem. No one is perfect. Writing like life is a journey. There's no reason to expect a perfect path to an end result.

All of this aside, don't ever judge yourself on what you see here at WC. You have friends here that enjoy your writing. Some people who are exploding to let out their feelings will never be heard by anyone.

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Relic for the insightful review and for taking the time to review the poem with such depth...I'm not really sure where to start...I guess it all stems from the fact that I'm a really sensitive person so my feelings get easily hurt when my friends have better success than I do...I know it's wrong, and I always feel guilty for feeling that way, but it always bothers me that I spend a lot of time reviewing new people and trying to make new friendships but I often don't get the same in return which bothers me, especially when so many people complain about their own reviews not getting reciprocated when I try to help them with it...

I console myself with the possibility that my work is just not easy to review...I am a perfectionist for sure, and maybe that hurts my cause sometimes cuz i wind up getting too literary...but I do write primarily because I love it, and that will always be the case...I just feel this need to vent sometimes and I usually feel better after I do...and of course I know I always have my friends...thanks again for all your insights Relic, I do appreciate it.

[Relic]

No problem. You are no alone in the lack of a response from new writers. I rarely ever get any reply or reviews these days. The site has changed and only a small few get a lot of attention here, mostly for woman. I once did 50 reviews in two or three days. I think I got maybe 9 replies if that. Even today I rarely here from those I review. I never expect anything here anymore. That's why my writing is limited now. I write for myself and that's good enough for me.

[Relic]

No problem. Your lack of replies is a common problem here these days. I once did 50 reviews in two or three days. I got about 8 or 9 replies back if even that. Eve today I hardly here from people when I review.

[Jennie Baron]

I admire your vocabulary and the way your brain apparently makes connections between words in ways mine doesn't. And of course this gets right to the essence of being a poet.

[kublakhan27]

So glad you enjoyed it Jennie...it was not an easy write, and it took me two or three days to get it to where it is here...I'm glad you understood where I was coming from, thank you :)

[Frontier]

It is a two way street, the reader brings the poem to life just as much as the author.

Intricate writing here Kubla, :)

[kublakhan27]

Thank you my friend, I laboured hard over this one :)

[Lyn Anderson]

ah, my friend, jealousy will get you nowhere. The third stanza is gold -- I am jealous, LOL. :)

[kublakhan27]

Haha Oh I know, and that's what I was trying to come to grips with here...so glad you enjoyed it my friend...it was laboured over most vigorously :)