Dead weight
clamping down like a shadow
without prejudice
I am dead weight
except for the fault line
furrowing through my brain's
allocating swirls
That's where my initiatives
huddle like autumn-butchered leaves
in a gutter
Please spare me of
another branch of time to kill
except for the one that keeps it
Then I'll take the nagging
Machiavellian
business of memories
down with it
i see this is an early one for you .. its very powerful i think ... inside a duplicit mind ..aaaaargh! like a giant spider has spun it full of thick sticky webs .. good luck unraveling .. eeeyow! .. enjoyed your poem very much .. its a brain teaser for sure and vivid descriptive word choices .. nice one kubla!
E.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
It is an early one indeed but I wonder if anyone would have even noticed if I hadn't mentioned it..... read moreIt is an early one indeed but I wonder if anyone would have even noticed if I hadn't mentioned it...I don't feel or write much different than I did back then, at least I don't think...this was around the time my poetic voice was starting to take shape...glad you enjoyed it my friend :)
I had to read this one twice, very cleverly worded.
I can almost see the fault line in there, in your wrinkly pink fleshy brain...
I just need to get a leaf blower in there to make all those brilliant ideas fly to life.
Dead weight? not taking the bait...
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Haha Love this review my friend...I do appreciate the kind words muchly :)
10 Years Ago
Anytime, dahling, anytime. :-)
10 Years Ago
;) (Am I at ten characters yet...?)
10 Years Ago
No. You gotta throw some kisses and hugs in there. It's all good right?
10 Years Ago
xoxoxoxoxo :)
10 Years Ago
Made my night!
10 Years Ago
Now I'm at a loss for words haha I'm happy that I did :)
10 Years Ago
L.
(It's just a laugh... Not out loud, kids are in bed)
10 Years Ago
Haha No problem, I'm just shy like that ;P
10 Years Ago
I'm just cool like dat...
10 Years Ago
... wrinkly pink fleshy brain...ha there's gotta be a poem in there somewhere
10 Years Ago
Good thing I said brain right? Am I Right?
You know it...
10 Years Ago
I'm not touching that...not a word....
10 Years Ago
Probably wise, this one is a family show...
10 Years Ago
Where are the parental controls.........?
10 Years Ago
Ummmm, I guess that would be ME, keeping my mouth shut on a PG page...
:-)
10 Years Ago
LOL Yes a brain...thanks for thinking of that though Mrs.R ;)
10 Years Ago
The Parent has arrived.. but the damage is done.. play nice kiddies..er.. Steve, if those two found .. read moreThe Parent has arrived.. but the damage is done.. play nice kiddies..er.. Steve, if those two found the wrinkle, you are in big trouble.. RUN!!! HIDE!!!! QUICKLY!!
This is an outstanding poem. I especially like the autumn leaves line. If you notice, I rarely quote lines in a review, I feel it's like a "spoiler" -- better to let them see it for themselves.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thanks so much KL, I'm always grateful for your kind words. I'm the same, I never feel right pointi.. read moreThanks so much KL, I'm always grateful for your kind words. I'm the same, I never feel right pointing out 'favourite' parts.
Haha I guess I felt the need to lighten it up a bit Mrs.R...it's still the same old Benji though isn.. read moreHaha I guess I felt the need to lighten it up a bit Mrs.R...it's still the same old Benji though isn't it? ;) On most days I would most certainly not feel the need to lighten it up, maybe the vodka's still in my system haha I love that graphic, I even remember the exact cartoon it's from...it took a while to find a pic of it too haha So glad you enjoyed it love :) xo
10 Years Ago
I think you've sent that to me already, still funny....you're a lightweight Benji :) I meant my ple.. read moreI think you've sent that to me already, still funny....you're a lightweight Benji :) I meant my pleasure hon! xo
10 Years Ago
Haha I'm 120 lbs on a good day Mrs.R, I'm a no-weight ;)
Your poetry is always like a puzzle to me Kublakhan27. I turn all of the pieces face up, start with the borders and then fill in the middle and what a wild picture I find when putting in the final piece. Dead weight, I think not. Worth the wait...yes. I really enjoyed this today.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thanks as always for the support will, I greatly appreciate it.
My first book is out! Any comments that anyone may have to offer regarding my work would be deeply appreciated, as I'm yet to get a review.
www.amazon.com/Waltz-Around-Swirls-Steven-Fortune/dp.. more..