EXCEPT FOR

11 14 01

Dead weight
clamping down like a shadow
without prejudice

I am dead weight
except for the fault line
furrowing through my brain's
allocating swirls
That's where my initiatives
huddle like autumn-butchered leaves
in a gutter

Please spare me of
another branch of time to kill
except for the one that keeps it
Then I'll take the nagging
Machiavellian
business of memories
down with it

Author's Note

Written in 2001, tinkered with slightly today...I was such a cute little cynic back then...

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

i see this is an early one for you .. its very powerful i think ... inside a duplicit mind ..aaaaargh! like a giant spider has spun it full of thick sticky webs .. good luck unraveling .. eeeyow! .. enjoyed your poem very much .. its a brain teaser for sure and vivid descriptive word choices .. nice one kubla!
E.

[kublakhan27]

It is an early one indeed but I wonder if anyone would have even noticed if I hadn't mentioned it...I don't feel or write much different than I did back then, at least I don't think...this was around the time my poetic voice was starting to take shape...glad you enjoyed it my friend :)

[Shirlena]

Well being a teenager is like a breeding ground for cynism...that and letting yourself get old too soon but it seems you have left the childish games behind you and today my son...you are a man. Enjoyed muchly as I do every write of yours.

[kublakhan27]

A teenager with bipolar is pretty much doomed...it's taken a couple of decades but I think I've finally settled into a comfort zone...thanks as always for the support my friend.

[Vidya Bacchus]

You always make me think KK.Sometimes we need to take a break and rest and look at things with fresh eyes to see what needs to be done.Excelent lines my friend :)

[kublakhan27]

Thanks as always for the kind words Vidya, so glad you enjoyed it :)

Steve

[Vidya Bacchus]

You are very welcome Steve :)

[Troy Henson]

Thought provoking to say the least. Sometimes we just need to pock ourselves up brush away the dust and start again.

Troy

[kublakhan27]

Very true my friend, it's a process but it's finally starting to happen haha Thank you Troy :)

[Wall Hermitt]

You paint very distinct, painful imagery with your words. Something about your poems and the depth with which your feelings are transmitted awes, for your portrayals are greatly penetrative. Your poetry is the kind I can read and reflect on. These are thoughts and feelings of purposelessness that unfortunately drain us of the impetus to do something self-fulfilling, but we cannot give up on finding something to keep us going. For me, poetry is just one of the handful of things I adhere to (and yes it doesn’t necessarily make one an optimist, but within it you find motivation and ambition to say the least that enable you to inspire others (such as myself)). We’re nor dead weight, friend.

Thanks for sharing this one.

W.H.

[kublakhan27]

I understand just where you're coming from my friend...your reviews are poetic in themselves...I can tell how much poetry means to you, and I can sympathize...very few of my pieces get written overnight, it usually takes a few days to get them to the point of satisfaction and a feeling of accomplishment, which is probably a testament to the feelings that dog me all too often...it's hard to be an optimist, no doubt about that, but there is therapy in writing, and we must respect that when dealing with words...thanks as always for the support Wall.

[Wall Hermitt]

You're most welcome, friend!

[Wall Hermitt]

Thanks for the great words!

[AprilRN1210]

its like a cluttered mess, that you hate to visit, but you know that if you could just organize it, clean it up, knock the dust off, find that one piece that you put somewhere a long time ago, then things would get working right again.. that you would be able to fix things... at least that is how I feel sometimes.. lol
definitely makes you think with this one sir..

[kublakhan27]

Looking back at my notebooks, I came to the conclusion that 2001 was THE year when I really started finding my voice after starting to write in 1997...I haven't changed much in the last 13 years, poetically or personally...I still have those feelings, but I did try to put a positive spin on this one with the Sylvester avatar (I'm a Looney Toons buff haha) and the 80s rock...I'm glad I was able to make you think with this one my friend...I can't tell you how much I appreciate the feedback you've been giving me...I will make it up to you very soon :) x

[AprilRN1210]

((hugs)) I did enjoy.. you're more than welcome..

[kublakhan27]

((hugs)) :)

[Ashira Macy]

I am dead weight
except for the fault line
furrowing through my brain's
allocating swirls

This verse called out to me, I enjoyed the imagery in it. Great write!

[kublakhan27]

So glad you enjoyed it, thank you Ashira :)

[Cory Barrett]

And like the falling leaves of November our mind never seems to stop. Like so many things it isn't about completion, it is about maintenance.

[kublakhan27]

Very true, you always have a great grasp of where I'm coming from in any given poem...thank you Cory.

[Kleio13]

Honey you are not dead weight. You are a true poet

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much K...you know how it goes with me, the eternal pessimist haha You always give me confidence though :)

[Kleio13]

I wouldn't say eternal pessimistic. But you are more essential than you think you are

[jacob erin-cilberto]

my initiatives already fell off the tree...my autumn is near, and the nagging memories of what i could have been...they are already dead leaves in a gutter of lost opportunity.
sometimes i also feel like dead weight...like what am i actually contributing to this world...
anything worthwhile? or am i just an existence.

as always your writes create introspection...

much of it.

[kublakhan27]

I think we all ask those questions from time to time, we writers just happen to ask them more frequently...the subject matter is plaintive, but I'm glad you understand, as you always do with my work...thank you Jacob.