JUST LIKE TOMBSTONE BLUES

04 15 14

I tried to be cordial with inactivity
washing it with weeping juice like a pardoned effigy
but the diamonds of determination were so wrapped in mind debris
that I threw away a fortune in potential

The smiles of the platitudes are louder than their laughs
An appeasing of their attitudes I warrant with the gaffes
of an undertaker's underling bestowing upon epitaphs
another deadened and deprived credential

Seeing days in ways that never did occur to me
Every end a mending by default, a sour recipe
for compromise eroding in a rusty pot of empathy

The dentist rubbed his fingers when he saw my gritted teeth
No sermon on the mount from me, more a mumble on the heath
My incisor is a tack that would support a giant's wreath
Thorns of novacaine will numb my Christmas wish

For the sake of universal order I will freeze a yawn
Mostly harmless said a hitchhiker of Earth so I can spawn
a batch of clones to live on hold where all the battle lines are drawn
I'll zip up and in the universal order I'll languish

Seeing nights in ways that never did occur to me
Every satellite a telecast of fault, a sour recipe
for sleeping juice to boil over in Big Dipper's empathy

Where's a pound of flesh when needed? I've grown tired of these ribs
On the grill of soggy marrow, hungry haunts will have first dibs
Call on William Blake to send the weepers to their cribs
Wishful thinking I'll preserve beneath the floorboards

With a hand in nothing new and an incisor in the usual
intestine chains surround my motivation's hot pursual
Don't read too much into my implied acceptance of a dual
with a messenger of fact's implicit hoards

Seeing days in ways that never did occur to me
Every end a mending by default, a sour recipe
for compromise eroding in an empty pot of sympathy

Sound the bugle for my bed is made, I'm rested for detention
Solitaire I'll play in my confinement for the crime of sought attention
I revolted the philosophers in plugging my intention
I would not concede that lab rats had it worse

The satellites are full and bright, the shadows walk on lakes tonight
I'll dream of sleep but eyes will play me in my bedroom's voided sight
Lay with me and sigh and the elastic laws of nature might
halt the quivering continuum of fate's forsaken course

Seeing nights in ways that never did occur to me
Every channel plays the same old cooking show's ensoured recipe
Compromise a minor seasoning in liver-flavoured empathy

Author's Note

Rhyme scheme inspired by this song...the title is inspired by another Dylan song, Just Like Tom Thumb's Blues...I tried to capture a bit of his rambly style as well...as if anyone could capture anything about his style right? :P

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you did capture it...and that is a really good song..."when you're lost in the rain in Juarez and its Easter time too" ...."and negativity won't see you through"

something like Rue Morgue avenue...i like the allusion to the dentist here and sometimes finding inspiration is like pulling teeth...and poems come as painfully as sitting in the dentist's chair...fearing the worst.

i dream of sleep too...but the muse won't allow it most of the time. with the mind debris of the poet often we end up with a boatload of potential never reached...because we just get everything jumbled trying to get it to paper.

dylanesque you were shooting for and dylanesque you achieved, he is one of my favorite singer/songwriters, the voice of our generation...and you are one of my favorite poets on this site.

jacob

[kublakhan27]

Your kind words are inspiring and humbling my friend...I was eager to hear from a die-hard Bob fan to find out if I did in fact pull it off...you definitely brought a smile to my face with your review as you always do...thanks so much.

[Stephanie M]

This is an excellent poem. I know about the internal fight with motivation. I love dark poetry. Are you a fan of Coleridge?

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Stephanie, I'm happy that you enjoyed this one, and yes Coleridge is one of my favourites :)

[Sheila Kline]

My humble words could not give you the justice you receive for this work! You have achieved your goal with finesse and talent beyond measure!!! My favorite part would be impossible to define as it is all a favorite!!

[kublakhan27]

So glad you enjoyed it Sheila, thank you for the kind words :)

[MsJewel]

You captured his rambling style well my friend - in fact - you nailed it. So many great lines in this one - it's impossible to pick my favorite. Your talent and creativity never ceases to amaze me.

:) Julie

[kublakhan27]

So glad you enjoyed it my friend, many thanks for the kind words :)

[Shirlena]

Well I guess so K...and could it be possible you really don't know how good you are? If not honey please maintain that humble spirit because in conjunction with your writing it is so attractive for you to stand in humility while writing like an angel on the wheels of hades. This was worth it's weight in length and content. You betta write the darn thang!!

[kublakhan27]

Wow, I am sufficiently humbled by your kind review my friend...I've managed to fool a lot of people into thinking that this stuff comes easily to me, when in reality, I usually kill a tree or two (not to mention a few brain cells) on the way to finishing a poem, especially one of this style. Thanks so much for the support Shirlena :)

[Shirlena]

LOL...takes all that to come up with a poem? Well, I do think we all go through tough spells getting out a poem. I'm going through one now so I just don 't do anything til my muse is ready:). At any rate you're fantastic, doesn't matter how you got there and you're welcomed.

[Ayvid N]

I am seriously awed at your effortless, brilliant thought process...

"The dentist rubbed his fingers when he saw my gritted teeth
No sermon on the mount from me, more a mumble on the heath
My incisor is a tack that would support a giant's wreath
Thorns of novacaine will numb my Christmas wish

For the sake of universal order I will freeze a yawn
Mostly harmless said a hitchhiker of Earth so I can spawn
a batch of clones to live on hold where all the battle lines are drawn
I'll zip up and in the universal order I'll languish

I agree with Mr. Jacob that we have so much great stuff going on inside our heads and most of us make a mess of it putting it on paper. Yet you did it so coolly here. For me, this is your best poetry till date.

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Divya, you have truly made my day with your kind words...truth be told, this one was a labour of love...it took two full days, one sleepless night, and a raging toothache to get it to this point...trust me, it was hardly effortless haha For those reasons I do hold this one close to the heart...very rarely do I feel good about something I wrote upon finishing it, but this one was different. I'm so glad that this one is a favourite for you, there is a lot of me in it for sure. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

[Ayvid N]

You are welcome. The rhyme scheme was much appreciated. As was another very haunting verse,
read moreYou are welcome. The rhyme scheme was much appreciated. As was another very haunting verse,

"Where's a pound of flesh when needed? I've grown tired of these ribs
On the grill of soggy marrow, hungry haunts will have first dibs
Call on William Blake to send the weepers to their cribs
Wishful thinking I'll preserve beneath the floorboards"

This is a truly memorable write from you. To be read and re-read often.

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much my friend...that is arguably my favourite stanza as well, though it varies depending on my mood ;)

[Ayvid N]

You are most welcome, especially as the pleasure of this read was all mine.

[Vidya Bacchus]

You had me from the very first word to the very last.I cannot choose a line that is my favourite because they were all so terrific.Awesome pen my friend :)

[kublakhan27]

So glad you enjoyed it Vidya, thanks so much :) This one was a little labour of love, it took me almost a week to get it down ;)

[Vidya Bacchus]

I believe it took you that long you perfectionist lol.You are welcome and it turned out perfect :)

[icelandicblue]

This is truly fantastic! There are so many stellar lines and phrases like diamonds of determination and the dentist rubbed his fingers when he saw my gritted teeth (I could picture that so vividly) I love to read and write pieces inspired by music and this was so finely crafted I found myself reading and rereading your words in all their plaintive glory. The stanza that I read repeatedly, because it spoke to me on a number of levels, is this one:

Where's a pound of flesh when needed? I've grown tired of these ribs
On the grill of soggy marrow, hungry haunts will have first dibs
Call on William Blake to send the weepers to their cribs
Wishful thinking I'll preserve beneath the floorboards

Now that is POETRY!

[kublakhan27]

My friend, you have brought a huge smile to my face with your kind words, and I haven't smiled a whole lot as of late. It really means the world to me to know that I can reach out to someone in such a way...it just makes it all feel worthwhile, makes ME feel like it's all worthwhile. Surprisingly I don't call on songs more often for inspiration, but I happened to be listening to this album, and even though I've played it countless times, I never noticed this rhyme scheme, but it's one that he refers to often, and obviously it's worked out pretty well for him haha I tried to work as many of my literary idols into this piece as I could, and I did get most of them in in some form, so this is a piece I hold close to the heart. Rarely do I complete a new piece and feel good about it, but I felt good about this one...thank you SO much for reading and enjoying and understanding :)

[Bright Ocean Star]

Kublakahn, I think I love you! What an incredibly masterful feat this was....it enchanted me line by line...drew me ever onward...my easily distractible, cluttered neurons were held in rapt attention. very, very nice write!

[kublakhan27]

Wow, I'm not sure I've ever gotten that response before, but I'm unspeakably grateful for it...you humble me beyond words :) Rarely do I finish a piece and feel good about it, but I did feel good about this one...it's virtually impossible to explain my thought patterns through the course of writing it...I would do it if I could haha Again I cannot thank you enough for your enthusiastic review, it truly means the world to me :)

[Ghost of Jupiter]

WoW... that seems to be all I can say...I still can't wrap words around the brilliance of this piece... I mean really... I have read it a dozen times each time thinking oh this is what I want to say, but it all wanes in the light of your work here.

you display a myriad of ideas and take on the characteristics of so many of the greats, it is astounding.. I see an abstract impression transformed and molded into a work of art. I want to quote every stanza... I want to stand up and applause... really you should take a bow for this brilliant beauty, bravo...

okay I have to do it..sorry..lol

"Where's a pound of flesh when needed? I've grown tired of these ribs
On the grill of soggy marrow, hungry haunts will have first dibs
Call on William Blake to send the weepers to their cribs
Wishful thinking I'll preserve beneath the floorboards"

again all i can say is..Wow... that just sent my gut to the floorboards... Fantastic!

[kublakhan27]

My friend, I am truly humbled by your kind words. I write my best work when I'm down in the dumps, so knowing that I'm able to provoke such enthusiastic responses makes it all worthwhile :) I tried to work in as many of my literary idols into this piece as I could...most of my stuff is free verse but I like to write song-style lyrics every once in a while just to keep things fresh ;) I am equally speechless in trying to express my gratitude for your review. Just saying thank you doesn't seem like enough...I just want you to know that your kind words mean the world, thanks so much :)

[Ghost of Jupiter]

No words of thanks are needed...I should be thanking you for evoking these enthusiastic emotions within. :D