PASS THE SYRUP

03 29 14

Olive branches smother and dismember
in the mud giggling in time
with the squish emanating from
my alternating huff and puff
footprints

I trudge in Winter's sweat of
schizophrenic rain
My old defence, sheepish stolidity,
got tweaked in a twist-up
tight as a candy cane
with a modest gasp
of underground success

That shadowy hush of acknowledgement
ballooned in my ear like a blow fish
amplifying the environmental inertia
that never made me happier
nor this sad

I may have been mad
walking from informed opinions
like a failed Orpheus
but defence shouted in silence
and I returned home
to the unconditional support
of a pet art

Acknowledgement's shadowy hush
tore a blister trail down my back
The ointment of Winter will soothe and
release me before billing me
with a scar and littering in the recycle bin
of who I want to be

Today I wanted to be accepted
Night has arrived with reinforced snowflakes
and the chill on my hot back
has me wondering if I would rather be feared

Author's Note

Reviews

[redflutterby]

Ahhh...Steve. I know where this one comes from and its sadness makes me sigh. I would hug you but youre too far away. Sweetie you dont want to be feared...theres no good in that. You just want to feel accepted and acknowledged. You dont need to look much farther then right here for that. You are an amazing poet and a wonderful friend. ;-)

[kublakhan27]

You have brought a smile to my face and my heart my dear friend...I don't think hearts smile but you know what I mean ;) I feel much better now than I did when I wrote this and you have a huge part in that. It's true that I don't want to be feared, but that's how it feels when I struggle for positive attention...I'll just take any kind that I can get haha Thank you Red, for all the support you've given me, especially recently...I may not have been here today if not for it :)

[Pryde Foltz]

Today I wanted to be accepted
Night has arrived with reinforced snowflakes
and the chill on my hot back
has me wondering if I would rather be feared

This one really reached me. Splendid write.

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much Pryde...it's a pretty personal piece so I'm happy that it spoke to you.

[Rita L. Sev]

That title - ironically bitter. Facing lack of acceptance, or perceived as such, because we cannot accept ourselves. Being admired is nice, but being feared makes us feel powerful... Thoughtful and thought-provoking, Steve. My favorite lines:
I returned home
to the unconditional support
of a pet art

[kublakhan27]

The cycle feels endless when it comes to me my friend, but I think I accept myself a little more every day...the snail's pace is what is frustrating. So glad you enjoyed this one :)

[Tina Louise UK]

Wonderful surreal, schizophrenic rain ...love that...great piece hun :) x

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much Tia :) x

[Josie E. Cook M. A.]

Original verses and words put together~

[kublakhan27]

Thanks very much Josie :)

[Michael Stevens]

Loved the schizophrenic rain line; loved the entire poem!

[kublakhan27]

So glad you enjoyed it Michael, thank you :)

[FlamingPhoenix]

I love every carefully chosen word placed on each line of perfect imagery. This is one piece that I must add to my library. I really enjoyed your term "schizophrenic rain".

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much Phoenix, this one is pretty personal so I'm glad it spoke to you on such a deep level :)

[Corset]

The opinions of others is so important to some people that they miss being their own person, I have learned this the hardest way, nobody really gives a s**t past their own desires of who they think you should be or act or believe, be who you want to be anything else is icing, if you want to be feared, or revered, or invisable find your comfort zone, someone like you will be there to lean on in any case.

[kublakhan27]

The sad thing is that I keep thinking I've learned, then once I start to feel better about myself, I'll just get depressed one day and it takes me right back to the inferiority complex...my hope is that I'll ultimately write it out of my system, and I do think I get a little closer to that with every one of these pieces. Many thanks for the input, much appreciated.

[Corset]

my pleasure :)

[Shirlena]

Incredible write and the imagery was vicious, coming at my mind like gang busters and I like it. I want to read it over and over just for the high...it feed my poetic soul that's always looking for a new fix and reading this was the perfect pick me up. Thank Frieda for turning me on to you and thank you for being FIERCE!

[kublakhan27]

You've made my day with this lovely review Shirlena :) Thank you so much for the kind words...Frieda is a dear friend and has helped me out big-time with this one :)

[Shirlena]

You both have skills...you're welcomed :)

[Coyote Poetry]

"Today I wanted to be accepted
Night has arrived with reinforced snowflakes
and the chill on my hot back
has me wondering if I would rather be feared"
The ending gave balance and reason for the poem. The strong description create visions and thoughts about unknown and places of mystery. I wanted to read more. No weakness in the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Coyote, so glad you enjoyed it...I actually wrote the beginning and end of this piece before the middle...it felt like they belonged together but the middle took a lot of pondering so I'm really happy to hear that it resonated.

[Einstein Noodle]

schizo Spring makes schizo rain ..for sure ..get her to the shrink before we skip right back to winter again ..:)
anyway ..lots going on in this had to read and re-read so to try and capture as much as i can ... i like the take on writing and writers ... well said .. i read some good advice here ... if one accepts the praise one must accept equally the blistering critique ...
many disappointments in the world of artistic endeavor .. lots of scars .. insecurity and pain .. hell actually those are the igniters of passion aren't they ;)
i love the ironic humor of the title ...lots of great lines but for sure the ending is a killer ... the introduction of maybe i should be feared is powerful think i .. and remember ..nothing ventured nothing gained ..right??!
going to read this once more before i mosey down the yellow brick road ...
love and peace always
E.

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much Einstein, it means a lot to know that this piece took you to so many places. This one came surprisingly quick by my standards, probably cuz I've been living it for so long. I'd love to say that the title was comic relief but it was more of a sarcastic smirk...that's just the way it was going at the time haha Many thanks for the wonderful review :)