PASS THE SYRUP

03 29 14

Olive branches smother and dismember
in the mud giggling in time
with the squish emanating from
my alternating huff and puff
footprints

I trudge in Winter's sweat of
schizophrenic rain
My old defence, sheepish stolidity,
got tweaked in a twist-up
tight as a candy cane
with a modest gasp
of underground success

That shadowy hush of acknowledgement
ballooned in my ear like a blow fish
amplifying the environmental inertia
that never made me happier
nor this sad

I may have been mad
walking from informed opinions
like a failed Orpheus
but defence shouted in silence
and I returned home
to the unconditional support
of a pet art

Acknowledgement's shadowy hush
tore a blister trail down my back
The ointment of Winter will soothe and
release me before billing me
with a scar and littering in the recycle bin
of who I want to be

Today I wanted to be accepted
Night has arrived with reinforced snowflakes
and the chill on my hot back
has me wondering if I would rather be feared

Author's Note

Reviews

[redflutterby]

Ahhh...Steve. I know where this one comes from and its sadness makes me sigh. I would hug you but youre too far away. Sweetie you dont want to be feared...theres no good in that. You just want to feel accepted and acknowledged. You dont need to look much farther then right here for that. You are an amazing poet and a wonderful friend. ;-)

[kublakhan27]

You have brought a smile to my face and my heart my dear friend...I don't think hearts smile but you know what I mean ;) I feel much better now than I did when I wrote this and you have a huge part in that. It's true that I don't want to be feared, but that's how it feels when I struggle for positive attention...I'll just take any kind that I can get haha Thank you Red, for all the support you've given me, especially recently...I may not have been here today if not for it :)

[AYVID N]

Thanks for this in-depth view of your beautiful mind Steve. When it comes to an exceptional poet and a wonderful friend such as you, acceptance is garaunteed and certain. Thanks for sharing this awesome write.

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much Divya...you've brought a smile to my face which hasn't been easy these days cuz I've been sick and haven't even been online...I can't thank you enough for the kind words and support, and I can't wait to get back to your writing as well :)

[Angel]

This one left me going "huh"?

[kublakhan27]

I seem to have a talent for that...

[Madalyn Beck]

This is a very sad write. I know the feelings you have expressed and I applaud the way you have written them. Great work! :)

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Madalyn, it's a pretty personal piece so I'm glad to know that someone knows where I'm coming from :)

[ANTHONY PERALES]

good stuff cant write like this without living it first.great work

[kublakhan27]

Very true Anthony...so glad you enjoyed it, many thanks for the review.

[Rachelle]

….Maybe not feared but rather respected….

It is in these moments when we are cast in the pit that we are given an opportunity for growth. Normal, day-to-day ambivalence will never create a diamond from a piece of coal. We have to be tried by circumstances that will be the most painful to bring out the best in us.

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much for the thoughtful words Rachelle, you know just where I'm coming from here :)

[sushi]

It was a beautiful read. the below lines touched me a lot. Home is where there a sence of security and being at a place we are loved unconditionally.

"I may have been mad
walking from informed opinions
like a failed Orpheus
but defence shouted in silence
and I returned home
to the unconditional support
of a pet art"

Thanks for sharing... :)

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Sushi, I hold this one close to the heart so I'm glad that it spoke to you :)

[Lyn Anderson]

The wordage in here is mighty clever. Too many lines for me to point out, but I really like the 2nd stanza -- great write.

[kublakhan27]

Thank you as always for the reading and support my friend.

[Tom]

The creative metaphor is sublime and intense throughout, an expressive, enjoyable, emotional write, splendid indeed !!

[kublakhan27]

Thank you for the kind words Tom, so glad you enjoyed this one :)

[Tai Ryens]

I envisioned someone with a passion to succeed meaningfully while the world treated him civilly (as with the olive branch, a common symbol for peace) and finding the steadfast inertia and the uniform reactions so very unappealing. "Underground success", of course, pertaining to the 'underground' community by which you involve yourself, feeling restricted to just that community alone, yet representing this as a metaphor by which you literally reside beneath the earth and the "schizophrenic rain" refers to the bizarre imagination evoked from the water dripping from the roof, a clear indication that something more than what meets the eye exists.
Yet this all existed within the mind of your speaker and they soon advance to become acknowledged and generally more well-known for a persona and ego that you are not, and you, irritated by the blasphemy that you are being recognized for, contemplate taking drastic action just to ensure that you are remembered for something you intend to be remembered for (a last chance to take fate by the handle and manipulate it to forever immortalize you for something you chose to become: a last attempt to control destiny), which is to be feared.
Well done, I enjoyed this immensely and I was pulled right into the world you portrayed here, a brief perspective on reality from within the mind of an artist aggravated for being worshiped as something he is not.

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much for the thoughtful review Taite, you really tapped into the spirit of the piece...I can't thank you enough for the insights and the kind words :)

[redzone]

Add me to those who found that last verse hitting hard to the heart... and also add me to all those here who have lots of "Syrup" for you Steve... ~~redzone

[kublakhan27]

Thank you redzone, so glad you enjoyed it...I look back at these things after I write them and wonder if this syrup is in my bloodstream haha

[redzone]

then we will have to call you 'sweet' KublaKhan Steve... but if history serves me Khan was not very sweet.. oh well, Steve you can change history that might be a good thing... lol

[kublakhan27]

Haha No he was not...I was more inspired by the Coleridge poem to take the name, at least I hope that's what inspired me :P

[redzone]

I think your syrup bubble over my friend.. :-p

[kublakhan27]

Haha I've been snowed in for a few days...too much pondering time for me :P