I dare you to invite my derision to a party Take a pacemaker to a polar bear dip instead
And that is as close to a poetization or as I call it an exploitation of our origin as you will get
What an origin The only reason for humanity is shaped like a fist
Yes keep the pacemaker Put it in a dying movie star or a high school athlete Popularity is impervious to social blinders worn on those sporadic occasions when people that ridicule me say just be yourself dude
The last party I was invited to featured my pants being lowered by the inviter Don't bother putting it in him Nothing to save The purpose ridiculed
You see, I had to come back because the last time I read you I was captivated. This one seals the deal :) Some people just stand out. You are resounding! Unique, and that is why you were forced to write this. A voice for the outstanding. I think you made them feel inferior and so they had to make fun of it to appear bigger. Bask in your uniqueness, dear poet, it stands alone brilliantly!
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thanks so much Lynn, I can't tell you how much this review means to me :) I'm just happy knowing I c.. read moreThanks so much Lynn, I can't tell you how much this review means to me :) I'm just happy knowing I can write stuff that speaks to people :)
It's funny because I trust only few people in this whole world and yet, sometimes it is them who go behind our backs... gossip about us, spread rumours and more. I agree with you everything you've said. It's a good, powerful read.
A thoroughly enjoyable read. True, the very same people who show us a kind face deride us behind our backs, calling us losers. I also heartily agree with you that there is no reason why some people are popular. They just are because others just don't want to look beyond them. I especially love the sarcasm in this piece. Very much appreciated Steve.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thanks very much Divya, I'm glad you enjoyed it and felt the emotion in it...this one is pretty raw.
I can see you standing at a podium, fist clenched, brow furrowed, tone of voice stern and direct...shouting to the masses before realizing your pants are wrapped nicely around your ankles. Sorry about that, It just came out that way. I love the breaking of barriers here my friend. You speak for many when you hang these posters in the high school hallway painted in bright red letters..."I don't care anymore!!" Very cool Steve.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Haha It's amazing I don't have fingernail marks in my hand from clenching my fist...I'm half-joking,.. read moreHaha It's amazing I don't have fingernail marks in my hand from clenching my fist...I'm half-joking, but only half...I've attempted things like this in the past but I'd always wind up watering them down by smuggling a bit of humour into them, but boy I was in some mood when I wrote this one haha Hopefully I got some things out of my system and I can lighten up a bit in future writings, but I'm not sure how much light really resides in my DNA :P Thanks as always my friend, for reading, and most of all, for understanding.
I like the attitude in this poem. It fits the song in the Author's Note perfectly, and not just through the words. But through the simple delivery of it all. You could have replaced pacemakers with lily flowers, and I still would have walked away from reading this with the distinct impression of attitude and the truth behind your feelings. It takes a lot to describe emotions past wording, phrases, and metaphor. It takes a lot to get your emotions through simply by the telling. Keep it up, man. Definitely liked this one.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
So glad you enjoyed it my friend, and I'm glad I was able to get these feeling across with precision.. read moreSo glad you enjoyed it my friend, and I'm glad I was able to get these feeling across with precision, as I was hardly in the mood to be precise when I wrote it haha It started as a private rant, something to get my pen going so I could put my unsavoury mood behind me and attempt a real poem...of course it didn't take long for me to realize that I was already writing that poem. It's certainly more simplistic than usual for me, so I was stepping out of my comfort zone which is always an awkward feeling, but I'm relieved that I was still able to write something that retained the spirit of a poem...thanks again for the kind words M :)
10 Years Ago
Ha! I know that feeling. That awkwardness when you step out into something new and strange. It's qui.. read moreHa! I know that feeling. That awkwardness when you step out into something new and strange. It's quite similar to the feeling of having your pants pulled down around your ankles lol Maybe that helped in conveying the emotion. I've started to get to a point, however, that if I feel comfortable in my writing, I think I'm doing it wrong. That uneasiness is my first indication that I'm heading down the right path. Once I feel that tension, that awkwardness, that inexplicable...nervousness, even pain....I sit in it. I allow it to grate at my nerves until I can't stand it any more. And then I write it lol I'm a very strange person, Mr. K haha xD
and Carrie unleashed her telekinetic powers...and all of the pants were lowered...and the bullies got theirs...
i like the pacemaker part...yes, we are oblivious...the famous person gets adored even if he or she is a s**t...yet the anonymous person gets ridiculed....poets do too...we are not understood therefore we are dangerous...and get made fun of...
this is quite good, Steve...i always have fun travelling through your words.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
There are figments of my past that even my poetry may never get access to, but you've summed it up p.. read moreThere are figments of my past that even my poetry may never get access to, but you've summed it up perfectly Jacob...so glad you enjoyed it.
Pacemakers, poetization and polar bears....whoa, I want some of whatever you've been smoking Benji! Don't surrender to high school again, you care, and this one says it in Dali tones of gray bliss, there's an end to this means. You speak your mind in vinyl vivid metaphors, and anyone who doesn't spin your song is off their rocker....! Just saying. ;-) xo
Haha Smoking something might have prevented such a poem being written Mrs.R ;P But who am I kidding.. read moreHaha Smoking something might have prevented such a poem being written Mrs.R ;P But who am I kidding? I wanted to write this, I enjoyed doing it, and I still like it after writing it, which is probably the most astounding factor of all haha I could certainly get used to speaking in vinyl metaphors...it just sounds right ;) Thanks for everything my dear friend...xo
10 Years Ago
Ha next time tell us how you really feel. ;-) I applaud you for writing this, better than keeping i.. read moreHa next time tell us how you really feel. ;-) I applaud you for writing this, better than keeping it in, your ink gets all backed up then. ;-P xo
10 Years Ago
Haha Well it isn't the best thing I've written (this is not a recording) but it is as real as my wri.. read moreHaha Well it isn't the best thing I've written (this is not a recording) but it is as real as my writing gets. Oh it all gets backed up if I keep it in Mrs.R, or a pen gets broken in half, either or ;) xo
My first book is out! Any comments that anyone may have to offer regarding my work would be deeply appreciated, as I'm yet to get a review.
www.amazon.com/Waltz-Around-Swirls-Steven-Fortune/dp.. more..