IMPERFECT STORM (Collab with Melobldnfr)

02 04 14

I have love, if it be returned
I have fire, for whom I've yet to learn
But it's taken an angel to break the spell
of an angel tonight

I saw the turbulence of trepidation
in your reaching out to
stroke my wings
Your senses stumped by the unrest
in your once-indestructible
cherubic innocence
An epiphany in the presence of a
new and undiscovered breed of
heavenly body

My sight of you beyond optical
speaking without words
in a vernacular more sensed than heard
How can you not know who you are?
What you are?
How is it I am to let you see me
but you'd have me blind to you?
You offer me your struggle,
melt into me
then shake me off like a lost sock
You'd have walk away
Smiling...

...crying...laughing...

You're my spectrum
blinding under cover of an atmosphere
tormenting the weather
in my sky of realism with a serpentine
campaign for an unfurling
of your perfect storm of ideals
I must shade my eyes in a plethora of angles
just to keep track of your pedantic
body language

And sure enough you looked at me
and stuttered
Now you've talked yourself into
an imperfect storm
locked yourself to the ground
with a dilemma-driven puncture
of your cloud of escape
We are equals now
too lacking in our own confidence
in flight to dare the other
to initiate direction

Author's Note

The second collab between Mel and I. Be sure to check out her writing as well...she is one of the more underrated poets in these parts :)

writerscafe.org/melobldnfr

Reviews

[Frieda P]

I'm wondering which is better, a perfect storm or an imperfect one, if this is an example, then you won my vote, great collaboration you two.

My favorite has to be...

I saw the turbulence of trepidation
in your reaching out to
stroke my wings

And the third stanza is so apropos, sets the tone for the whole 'weather' scheme and turbulence. Bravo!

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much love...I now feel a little relevant by receiving a review haha So glad you enjoyed it...the third stanza is hers so she will be glad to see that. Thank you again Mrs.R :) xo

[Frieda P]

I tried to get here earlier but the cafe wouldn't permit it, someone needs to smash those damn gremlins in a blender. You work splendidly together, she must be a bit abstract also. ;-) Was my pleasure Benji! Kudos Mel!

[kublakhan27]

Haha Yeah the glitches make me wanna grate my nails on a chalkboard at times...our voices do compliment each other well :) Thanks again love :)

[Frieda P]

Well I actually want to scratch Mel's eyes out for hogging you but I won't say cause her feelings might get hurt ;-)

[kublakhan27]

Wow, Mrs.R is wide-awake today ;P You don't have a thing to worry about :)

[Frieda P]

Ha it's Frisky Frieday, I lost my head ;-)

[kublakhan27]

Haha frisky indeed ;)

[Leslie Philibert]

A fine poem that needs a better review than I have time to write. Lots of good lines here, well written..

[kublakhan27]

Thanks very much Leslie.

[Rita L. Sev]

Richly penned emotions here; I am impressed by such a smooth collaboration!

[kublakhan27]

Thanks very much Rita :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Amazing use of thoughts leading to the strong ending.
"We are equals now
too lacking in our own confidence
in flight to dare the other
to initiate direction"
Sometime easier to fall to different levels than force things not needed. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[kublakhan27]

Glad you enjoyed it Coyote, many thanks.

[La Luna]

Wonderful writing "How is it I am to let you see me
but you'd have me blind to you?" beautiful well done

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Luna :)

[La Luna]

You're welcome :)

[MsJewel]

Heartfelt and lovely - you had me with the first verse:
I have love, if it be returned
I have fire, for whom I've yet to learn
But it's taken an angel to break the spell
of an angel tonight
There is a dream like quality to your words that I find so appealing. The soft flow of the additional verses only adds to this. A beautiful collaboration! Going in my library!

:) Julie

[kublakhan27]

So glad you enjoyed it Julie, thank you :)

[Lyn Anderson]

This is a great write. A smooth collaboration, for sure ... I am new to you -- pleased to make your acquaintance KL

[kublakhan27]

Nice to meet you KL, glad you enjoyed the piece, many thanks.

[♔ CrownedDevil &#..]

Now you've talked yourself into
An imperfect storm,
Locked yourself to the ground,
With a dilemma- driven puncture,
Of your cloud,

Nicely written.

Kaze~ :-)

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much Kaze :)

[♔ CrownedDevil ☾]

Your very welcome. :-)

[redflutterby]

Wow....this is amazing Steve...and of course Mel. I have a feeling I'll read it again a few times because it feels like theres layers of meaning here. You two have incredible talent...felt like I was in an art museum standing in awe of some masterpiece. The kind where you stare for minutes trying to take it all in and keep finding something new to sigh over. Loved it...bravo to you both!! ;-)

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much Red, you humble me with your kind words ;) I think there are layers for sure...it's like our writing overlaps enough to have chemistry, but not perfectly overlapping so as to sound redundant...does that make sense? I just woke up haha So glad you enjoyed it :)

[s y e]

This was so good. You guys are a bit like Jack and Frieda where your pens seem to merge together, good job to the both of you.

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Noodlebop.

[A. Amos]

My friend you did good job and i agree with Frieda reviews

[kublakhan27]

Thanks very much A