CANDLE LOGIC

10 23 13

Let's apply oblation to our hardships

Obliterate the temptation 

to trip on languid lower lips

imprisoning our stiffer upper lips

Let's apply oblation to our grief

Freeze the imitation waterfalls 

of hot wax sliding through 

the slippery stalagmites

scaling the perimeters of

our duet of melting candles

Let us groom the fire for oblation

like the old Greeks did and

take a flyer on the 

possibility of comfort

Let us take a lesson from

the pond of hot wax 

destined to rebel and drown

the wick before it brands 

lethargy on the local phoenix

Author's Note

I put this together in ten minutes. I don't like posting things I put together in ten minutes, but you know how it is as a writer...there are some things that just have to be said.

Props go out to Frieda for a subtle suggestion that made me like the poem more than I initially did ;) Mind you, "like" is a relative word there...

Reviews

[Frieda P]

Deep sigh here, although I"ve read it already, it's still affecting, not to mention your genius in slapping it together, but the effect from the standpoint of grief. We share this similar pain, and I found the title to make sense in some strange comforting way, 'logic' is there any when it comes to this pain and suffering, only within the rituals and sacrifices we make getting to the point to make it possible to get to that next day, sometimes that next minute in time. You know I 'felt' this one my dear friend. xo

[kublakhan27]

We cope in very similar ways my dear...sadly there have been way too many instances to allow me to come to that conclusion. The title was the first one that sprang to mind when I started thinking about it, and I do think it's sympathetic to the way you've described it. In times like these, we have no choice but to put all our eggs into the basket of tomorrow, and just hope it brings better tidings. I'm sorry you had to relate to this piece naturally, but I'm satisfied in knowing you felt it, as it was really for you to begin with. Thank you Frieda...xo

[Frieda P]

Okay hon, you have finished me off with the music now.... much love my sweet friend. xo

[kublakhan27]

I've said it before, but I hope you're thinking happy thoughts my dear friend...xo

[Rosaria_V]

I love how everything you do with your poems seem to just flow and go together, very nice

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much Rosie, that means more than you know :)

[TL Boehm]

take a flyer on the possibility of comfort - let the wax congeal and take shape, there is something exquisite about this poem. For ten minutes - wow! I am in awe. I can't even get my brain to focus in ten minutes let alone write a clear poem.
Bravo.

[kublakhan27]

I guess you could say my pen was being pushed in this case. Trust me, it's not natural for me to work this quick haha Thanks so much :)

[Dr. Wood ?]

sometimes it is as if the poems are already there...you did an excellent job in retrieving these...The spur of the moment is sometimes the best...Well done

[kublakhan27]

It is, though I wish I could convince myself of that sometimes haha Glad you enjoyed it, many thanks.

[icelandicblue]

Well, I would love to see what you could do with words in 20 minutes because this is as beautiful as it is powerful. We sacrifice but there is only so much wax and wick and when we burn we must be mindful of the hourglass. I am absolutely enamored with these words:

Let's apply oblation to our grief
Freeze the imitation waterfalls
of hot wax sliding through
the slippery stalagmites
scaling the perimeters of
our duet of melting candles

To freeze the wax and to extend time, that is a heady idea indeed.

[kublakhan27]

What can I say, it was written under heady circumstances. I'm happy that you were able to find beauty and power in it, that means a lot being a personal piece. Thank you for the kind words :)

[WatcherInSilence]

Your poem screams "Spontaneous!" Great literary touch to help us (the readers) capture the essence of what you are expressing

[kublakhan27]

Thanks very much, I'm glad that you were able to tap into the emotion of the piece, even though there was some spontaneity involved. The circumstances just kind of demanded it. Many thanks again.

[s y e]

I love, love, love the title Steveroo -- It pulled me in, it's amazing. You're words are powerful and the poem as a whole is amazing. You have some amazing lines that just popped out.

"Let us groom the fire for oblation
like the old Greeks did and
take a flyer on the
possibility of comfort"

-- Oooooh, I love it! :D

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much Noodlebop, that means the world to me. And just for the record, you're my twentieth reviewer! That's an extreme milestone by my standards. But obviously this is a personal piece that was written for a friend of both of us, so I'm just happy to see that people are actually relating to something I wrote, especially you in the sense that we're coming from a very similar place these days. I can't thank you enough :)

[s y e]

Woo, I feel so lucky! :D I am s glad to be your milestone, I'm doing a wee happy dance for you, LOL. You're very welcome, I understand completely.

[kublakhan27]

Haha I'm glad you were my milestone as well :) As always, thank you for reading, understanding, and for the wee happy dance as well LOL

[s y e]

Bahaha, told you, you were funny! ;-P

[kublakhan27]

Hahaha In that case, I'd be an absolute riot if I was in a more positive state-of-mind ;P

[s y e]

LOL! That's funny!

[kublakhan27]

LOL I do think there's logic in that statement though ;)

[s y e]

I think so too, I am just not logical to see it! ;-P

[Adam M. Snow]

Wow, I love this one. Keep writing.

[kublakhan27]

Many thanks Adam.

[Adam M. Snow]

Anytime my friend.

[Strider Marcus Jones]

There is always something in nothing, light in darkness. Nicely penned. 100/100

[kublakhan27]

Very true my friend, so glad you enjoyed it.

[Robbie~xoxo~]

"Let us take a lesson from

the pond of hot wax

destined to rebel and drown

the wick before it brands

lethargy on the local phoenix"~ I love your reference to the phoenix... it gives light to renewal, a rebirth... shedding the hardships.
This is wonderfully written, Steve... (Ten minutes, wow)..Well penned!~xoxo~

[kublakhan27]

I think there was an element of desperation involved with introducing the phoenix at the very end. How much heat can he actually withstand in times of turmoil? But I felt like I needed to leave that door open here...I needed to leave the reader with some semblance of optimism, not to mention myself. So glad you liked this one my dear, thank you Robbie :) xoxo