RISE, SHINE, AND FALL

10 15 13

I awoke with the want

to take a nap

The salient dawn did well to

cull and claw at my cognizance

like medicated taffy

Admirable is Apollo after all

Not the most approachable sibling

yet neither am I at times

In my time of only-childhood

the surroundings of a sunlit house

serenaded me on contact

with the threshold that locked down

the night in my bedroom

Days were like sand

from a shattered hourglass

funnelled into a container

of the future

Every morning was a vacuum

tending to the funnel with the grains

of possibility retrieved for

another cycle through the secret

we are spared of as children

until the vacuum as appliances

are wont to do

died

leaving us with adulthood

and a bowl of something

that reeks of ashes

Author's Note

This was a rushed piece, though given how few people read my stuff now, it's probably not worth a damn anyway...Smirnoff may or may not have helped my cause here...but having only posted one thing so far this month, I was desperate to get something out. I don't know, I may have to go back to this one.

Reviews

[Lydia Shutter]

A childhood filled with love and a feeling of security gives way to adulthood....when nothing is quite as it seemed back then. Have the dreams fo childhood burned down to ashes? There are days it does seem that way. The imagery in your poetry is superb. A joy to read. Lydi**

[kublakhan27]

I was thinking about how we spend so much of our childhood longing to be adults, then regret the fact that we took our childhood for granted when we do reach adulthood. I think about the things you've mentioned here virtually every day. So glad it resonated with you. Thank you Lydia :)

[Troy Henson]

I remember as a child I would often say "I can't wait to be an adult"
Now I find myself regretting those few words. A childhood needs to be lived.

Great piece. Loved it.

Regards
Troy

[kublakhan27]

I know just what you mean my friend...it would appear to be human nature to long for what we don't have, especially knowing that we did have it at one point and had to walk away from it. So glad you enjoyed this one, thank you as always.

[MichaelsLyric.com]

Waiting, wondering, that is childhood, and so many more things. There is a sense of sorrow, that time passes. Nice piece, very well down. Thank you for sharing.

[kublakhan27]

Thank you, I do appreciate the kind words.

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

And being an adult is not always or isn't what it is cracked up to be
I think you did a very fine job with this I see no reason to go back
But what I do know one thing I really enjoyed reading this

[kublakhan27]

Amen to that...glad you enjoyed it Chloe, thanks very much.

[Kenneth The Poet]

If this is you writing rushed, what happens when the piece festers for years? I think you created a writer's beer that borders on the distilled.

[kublakhan27]

It was kind of a frustrated last resort in the midst of the block. I think it cleared my mind though and got me going again. Many thanks Kenneth.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

The last three lines sum it all. Very powerful end. Anyway, the title is impressive. Dramatic and intense. :)

[kublakhan27]

I felt a sense of urgency in writing this piece. It's one of the more personal ones I've written as of late, so I'm glad the emotion was palpable for you. Thank you Blue :)

[Corset]

I've found many days like this since the education, a time when the blissful sand of dreams far out weighs the reality of consciousness, is a lot kinder to the desires of the soul. It sucks to be a grown up, lol, I love the way you ended this, the sand with ashes and for some a couple of cigarette butts, such a strong visual. awesome work! Kubla :)

[kublakhan27]

I guess it's just our nature to lament what we don't have, or neglect the things we do have until they're gone. When we're kids, we wish we were grown-ups, and when we're grown-ups, we chastise ourselves for not taking in the freedom of childhood when we had the chance. As a personal piece, I'm so glad it was able to resonate with you. Your kind words are more inspring than you know. Thank you Corset :)

[Corset]

Isn't that the truth of it, grass is always greener and such. :)

[kublakhan27]

The truth indeed :)

[Dye]

Just the opening statement alone was relateable beyond belief.

There are many days where it would have been better to not have even bothered getting up and trying. You find that even if the 'want' is there, things just have a tendency of not going according to plan, makes it hard to move forward.

The piece didn't feel rushed at all, seem very well thought out and deliberate. I might start drinking some Smirnoff to see if it helps my pen flow as smoothly.

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Dye, I'm glad you were able to relate to it and understand where I was coming from. I struggled with this for a few days and was finally able to put it together while I was having a drink. It may have been a coincidence, or not haha