This was a rushed piece, though given how few people read my stuff now, it's probably not worth a damn anyway...Smirnoff may or may not have helped my cause here...but having only posted one thing so far this month, I was desperate to get something out. I don't know, I may have to go back to this one.
My Review
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A childhood filled with love and a feeling of security gives way to adulthood....when nothing is quite as it seemed back then. Have the dreams fo childhood burned down to ashes? There are days it does seem that way. The imagery in your poetry is superb. A joy to read. Lydi**
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
I was thinking about how we spend so much of our childhood longing to be adults, then regret the fac.. read moreI was thinking about how we spend so much of our childhood longing to be adults, then regret the fact that we took our childhood for granted when we do reach adulthood. I think about the things you've mentioned here virtually every day. So glad it resonated with you. Thank you Lydia :)
I remember as a child I would often say "I can't wait to be an adult"
Now I find myself regretting those few words. A childhood needs to be lived.
Great piece. Loved it.
Regards
Troy
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
I know just what you mean my friend...it would appear to be human nature to long for what we don't h.. read moreI know just what you mean my friend...it would appear to be human nature to long for what we don't have, especially knowing that we did have it at one point and had to walk away from it. So glad you enjoyed this one, thank you as always.
Waiting, wondering, that is childhood, and so many more things. There is a sense of sorrow, that time passes. Nice piece, very well down. Thank you for sharing.
And being an adult is not always or isn't what it is cracked up to be
I think you did a very fine job with this I see no reason to go back
But what I do know one thing I really enjoyed reading this
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Amen to that...glad you enjoyed it Chloe, thanks very much.
If this is you writing rushed, what happens when the piece festers for years? I think you created a writer's beer that borders on the distilled.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
It was kind of a frustrated last resort in the midst of the block. I think it cleared my mind thoug.. read moreIt was kind of a frustrated last resort in the midst of the block. I think it cleared my mind though and got me going again. Many thanks Kenneth.
A childhood filled with love and a feeling of security gives way to adulthood....when nothing is quite as it seemed back then. Have the dreams fo childhood burned down to ashes? There are days it does seem that way. The imagery in your poetry is superb. A joy to read. Lydi**
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
I was thinking about how we spend so much of our childhood longing to be adults, then regret the fac.. read moreI was thinking about how we spend so much of our childhood longing to be adults, then regret the fact that we took our childhood for granted when we do reach adulthood. I think about the things you've mentioned here virtually every day. So glad it resonated with you. Thank you Lydia :)
The last three lines sum it all. Very powerful end. Anyway, the title is impressive. Dramatic and intense. :)
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
I felt a sense of urgency in writing this piece. It's one of the more personal ones I've written as.. read moreI felt a sense of urgency in writing this piece. It's one of the more personal ones I've written as of late, so I'm glad the emotion was palpable for you. Thank you Blue :)
I've found many days like this since the education, a time when the blissful sand of dreams far out weighs the reality of consciousness, is a lot kinder to the desires of the soul. It sucks to be a grown up, lol, I love the way you ended this, the sand with ashes and for some a couple of cigarette butts, such a strong visual. awesome work! Kubla :)
I guess it's just our nature to lament what we don't have, or neglect the things we do have until th.. read moreI guess it's just our nature to lament what we don't have, or neglect the things we do have until they're gone. When we're kids, we wish we were grown-ups, and when we're grown-ups, we chastise ourselves for not taking in the freedom of childhood when we had the chance. As a personal piece, I'm so glad it was able to resonate with you. Your kind words are more inspring than you know. Thank you Corset :)
11 Years Ago
Isn't that the truth of it, grass is always greener and such. :)
Just the opening statement alone was relateable beyond belief.
There are many days where it would have been better to not have even bothered getting up and trying. You find that even if the 'want' is there, things just have a tendency of not going according to plan, makes it hard to move forward.
The piece didn't feel rushed at all, seem very well thought out and deliberate. I might start drinking some Smirnoff to see if it helps my pen flow as smoothly.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thank you Dye, I'm glad you were able to relate to it and understand where I was coming from. I str.. read moreThank you Dye, I'm glad you were able to relate to it and understand where I was coming from. I struggled with this for a few days and was finally able to put it together while I was having a drink. It may have been a coincidence, or not haha
My first book is out! Any comments that anyone may have to offer regarding my work would be deeply appreciated, as I'm yet to get a review.
www.amazon.com/Waltz-Around-Swirls-Steven-Fortune/dp.. more..