RISE, SHINE, AND FALL

RISE, SHINE, AND FALL

A Poem by kublakhan27
"

10 15 13

"
I awoke with the want
to take a nap

The salient dawn did well to
cull and claw at my cognizance
like medicated taffy
Admirable is Apollo after all
Not the most approachable sibling
yet neither am I at times

In my time of only-childhood
the surroundings of a sunlit house
serenaded me on contact
with the threshold that locked down
the night in my bedroom

Days were like sand
from a shattered hourglass
funnelled into a container
of the future
Every morning was a vacuum
tending to the funnel with the grains
of possibility retrieved for
another cycle through the secret
we are spared of as children
until the vacuum as appliances
are wont to do
died

leaving us with adulthood
and a bowl of something
that reeks of ashes

© 2013 kublakhan27


Author's Note

kublakhan27
This was a rushed piece, though given how few people read my stuff now, it's probably not worth a damn anyway...Smirnoff may or may not have helped my cause here...but having only posted one thing so far this month, I was desperate to get something out. I don't know, I may have to go back to this one.

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Featured Review

A childhood filled with love and a feeling of security gives way to adulthood....when nothing is quite as it seemed back then. Have the dreams fo childhood burned down to ashes? There are days it does seem that way. The imagery in your poetry is superb. A joy to read. Lydi**

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

11 Years Ago

I was thinking about how we spend so much of our childhood longing to be adults, then regret the fac.. read more



Reviews

I remember as a child I would often say "I can't wait to be an adult"
Now I find myself regretting those few words. A childhood needs to be lived.

Great piece. Loved it.

Regards
Troy

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

10 Years Ago

I know just what you mean my friend...it would appear to be human nature to long for what we don't h.. read more
Waiting, wondering, that is childhood, and so many more things. There is a sense of sorrow, that time passes. Nice piece, very well down. Thank you for sharing.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

10 Years Ago

Thank you, I do appreciate the kind words.
And being an adult is not always or isn't what it is cracked up to be
I think you did a very fine job with this I see no reason to go back
But what I do know one thing I really enjoyed reading this

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

10 Years Ago

Amen to that...glad you enjoyed it Chloe, thanks very much.
If this is you writing rushed, what happens when the piece festers for years? I think you created a writer's beer that borders on the distilled.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

11 Years Ago

It was kind of a frustrated last resort in the midst of the block. I think it cleared my mind thoug.. read more
A childhood filled with love and a feeling of security gives way to adulthood....when nothing is quite as it seemed back then. Have the dreams fo childhood burned down to ashes? There are days it does seem that way. The imagery in your poetry is superb. A joy to read. Lydi**

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

11 Years Ago

I was thinking about how we spend so much of our childhood longing to be adults, then regret the fac.. read more
The last three lines sum it all. Very powerful end. Anyway, the title is impressive. Dramatic and intense. :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

11 Years Ago

I felt a sense of urgency in writing this piece. It's one of the more personal ones I've written as.. read more
I've found many days like this since the education, a time when the blissful sand of dreams far out weighs the reality of consciousness, is a lot kinder to the desires of the soul. It sucks to be a grown up, lol, I love the way you ended this, the sand with ashes and for some a couple of cigarette butts, such a strong visual. awesome work! Kubla :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

11 Years Ago

I guess it's just our nature to lament what we don't have, or neglect the things we do have until th.. read more
Corset

11 Years Ago

Isn't that the truth of it, grass is always greener and such. :)
kublakhan27

11 Years Ago

The truth indeed :)
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Dye
Just the opening statement alone was relateable beyond belief.

There are many days where it would have been better to not have even bothered getting up and trying. You find that even if the 'want' is there, things just have a tendency of not going according to plan, makes it hard to move forward.

The piece didn't feel rushed at all, seem very well thought out and deliberate. I might start drinking some Smirnoff to see if it helps my pen flow as smoothly.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

11 Years Ago

Thank you Dye, I'm glad you were able to relate to it and understand where I was coming from. I str.. read more

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991 Views
25 Reviews
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Shelved in 4 Libraries
Added on October 15, 2013
Last Updated on October 16, 2013
Tags: rise, shine, fall, dawn, childhood, growing up, morning, hourglass, future, ashes

Author

kublakhan27
kublakhan27

Nova Scotia, Canada



About
My first book is out! Any comments that anyone may have to offer regarding my work would be deeply appreciated, as I'm yet to get a review. www.amazon.com/Waltz-Around-Swirls-Steven-Fortune/dp.. more..

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