TWO POETS AND THE RAIN (Collab with Melobldnfr)

09 28 13

A game implies a winner,

Which in turn implies an end.

Yet the players in this pulsing

Game of heart monopoly

Remain relentless in their quest

To win in perpetuity.

Tonight we take back the rule book.

Two poets and the rain

Will compose a requiem for hurt

And part our lips to emulate

The firmament's torrent of

A life story's tears.

Your head in my lap,

I run my fingers through your hair.

I want to take every tear

To be your ink and page.

I rummage through your pain.

Let it not make me sway.

I hurt with you, but take it,

Disengage it, and honorably stay.

My shoulders are big enough

To play upon your stage.

Let the crickets sing

Something akin to our names,

And try to not let the doors slam

With our windows from their panes.

A night like tonight, I encourage

You to exorcise your eyes

So eroded from the salt of

Drama's stinging weight.

Lay your notebook next to mine.

Out we'll run into the holy rivulets

Of the heavens.

When you smile we'll retreat

To the humanity of home,

Struck by a inkling to test

Each others' senses.

A night like tonight, I reach out.

You, who's felt more in my words,

Hear my whispered shouts.

Take my cup, make it yours.

I'll be your downpour

But not your fall.

 

Author's Note

Don't forget to visit Mel, she's a very soulful writer who doesn't get as much attention as she should. We had a lot of fun with this, it took about a week to put together. She picked the artwork as well :)

Reviews

[Sheila Kline]

Beautiful, and a stunning collab!! I love it all, but particularly the last -"I'll be your downpour, but not your fall". I am not familiar enough with either of you to know which part is yours, and which belongs to Mel but the two of you mesh in a fashion that makes it difficult to determine where the dividing line is -and that to me is a successful collab!

[kublakhan27]

We did work very hard at weaving and mixing our lines so that even those who knew us would not be able to distinguish who wrote which parts. I can tell you the last line is hers though :) So glad you enjoyed it, thank you Sheila from both of us :)

[Melobldnfr]

Thank you Sheila.

[Dye]

There are so many great individual lines in this piece. I was going to paste them here but then realized it would be just about the whole poem, and well, you already know what it says. What a fantastic collaboration!

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much my friend...Mel hasn't been on yet tonight but I know she'll be happy to see the kind words you've left, as am I :)

[Dye]

You are most welcome, and I showed her a little love on her side too :)

[Melobldnfr]

Absolutely glad. Thank you.

[Frieda P]

This is pretty straightforward for you Benji, must have been Mel's influence, great collaboration, the rain does strange things to lovers and poets! What could be better than the coming together of the two, great job here, seamless.

"Now I will stand in the rain on the corner
I'll watch the people go shuffling downtown" ;-) x

[kublakhan27]

Haha she definitely put her stamp on this piece with her parts, and clearly influenced me in the process ;P I'm glad you were able to tap into the spirit of this one Mrs.R, I had no doubt that you would...and the quote? Kick-a*s ;) xo

[Frieda P]

Well first I thought of pulling Mel's poetic hair, but then I straightened out Mrs R's demeanor and enjoyed it! Lol ;-) Thought you might like that quote xox

[kublakhan27]

LOL Well I'm glad you were able to find a happy medium there Mrs.R ;) xox

[Melobldnfr]

:-D This has definitely made my night!

[kublakhan27]

I thought it might ;D

[jacob erin-cilberto]

wonderful metaphor with the monopoly....we always want more...we want to amass all the possessions we can..but love is not a possession, it is something shared, as this vivid poem so beautifully expresses...

cry your tears to me..i want to catch them...i want to catch you when you fall, but not fall with you.

strength in these words.

and you compose together as one voice.

[kublakhan27]

You've certainly captured the essence of the piece my friend, so glad you enjoyed it.

[Melobldnfr]

Thank you so much.

[Rita L. Sev]

So many great images and concepts in this piece: the "game of heart monopoly", "Lay your notebook next to mine...", "holy rivulets of the heavens..." All come together in that great last stanza, the promise of "I'll be your downpour, but not your fall." Pouring out the heart in poetry is a risky business, a storm understood only by another poet. Great collaborative piece!

[kublakhan27]

Thank you my friend, glad you were able to tap into the essence of this piece, and glad you enjoyed it :)

[Melobldnfr]

Very kind of you. Thank you for reviewing our piece.