TWO POETS AND THE RAIN (Collab with Melobldnfr)

09 28 13

A game implies a winner,

Which in turn implies an end.

Yet the players in this pulsing

Game of heart monopoly

Remain relentless in their quest

To win in perpetuity.

Tonight we take back the rule book.

Two poets and the rain

Will compose a requiem for hurt

And part our lips to emulate

The firmament's torrent of

A life story's tears.

Your head in my lap,

I run my fingers through your hair.

I want to take every tear

To be your ink and page.

I rummage through your pain.

Let it not make me sway.

I hurt with you, but take it,

Disengage it, and honorably stay.

My shoulders are big enough

To play upon your stage.

Let the crickets sing

Something akin to our names,

And try to not let the doors slam

With our windows from their panes.

A night like tonight, I encourage

You to exorcise your eyes

So eroded from the salt of

Drama's stinging weight.

Lay your notebook next to mine.

Out we'll run into the holy rivulets

Of the heavens.

When you smile we'll retreat

To the humanity of home,

Struck by a inkling to test

Each others' senses.

A night like tonight, I reach out.

You, who's felt more in my words,

Hear my whispered shouts.

Take my cup, make it yours.

I'll be your downpour

But not your fall.

 

Author's Note

Don't forget to visit Mel, she's a very soulful writer who doesn't get as much attention as she should. We had a lot of fun with this, it took about a week to put together. She picked the artwork as well :)

Reviews

[Sheila Kline]

Beautiful, and a stunning collab!! I love it all, but particularly the last -"I'll be your downpour, but not your fall". I am not familiar enough with either of you to know which part is yours, and which belongs to Mel but the two of you mesh in a fashion that makes it difficult to determine where the dividing line is -and that to me is a successful collab!

[kublakhan27]

We did work very hard at weaving and mixing our lines so that even those who knew us would not be able to distinguish who wrote which parts. I can tell you the last line is hers though :) So glad you enjoyed it, thank you Sheila from both of us :)

[Melobldnfr]

Thank you Sheila.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

You gave me a vivid scene with fascinating details. Your wordcraft delighted me.
My favorite is "A game implies a winner, Which in turn implies an end." It's a great way to start this splendid poem.

This had me smiling! Clever write. :)

[kublakhan27]

Glad you enjoyed it Blue, thanks so much :)

[Robbie~xoxo~]

Such a beautiful merging you two!
Steve, you are a delightful writer, and I can see the chemistry between you and your co-writer....you both have fleshed out this piece magnificently. "Two poets and the rain"~Well composed, indeed!

Congrats!...Nicely Done!~xoxo~:)

[kublakhan27]

Haha We did do a lot of tinkering with it...actually it took us a week to get it to where we were both happy with it ;P Thanks as always for your kind words love :) xoxo

[KAOlmsted]

I wish I played well with others ;-) This collaboration was stunning. I will absolutely visit Mel if you can RR me your favorite, that would be most helpful (I'm doing my RR queue right now...and *ahem* you should know I skipped ahead to read you) ;-)

So glad I did.

[kublakhan27]

I'm not a natural collaborator myself, but we're friends and I had a whim that our voices might gel...I think the response to this one has been better than we anticipated :) Thank you dear friend, you know it means the world to have you come and visit me ahead of schedule ;) x

[KAOlmsted]

You and Baby R ;-) My pleasure, Steven xoxo

[Pryde Foltz]

A lovely word dance you two have composed. Spell-bindining.

[kublakhan27]

So glad you enjoyed it, thank you Pryde.

[Jack...]

Like a fine tapetry, these words weave emotion and wonderful visions on my mind. Mel and Steve, you have come togehter to present us with a wonderful treat. I find myself glancing back up, revisiting many parts of thus fantastic collaboration. Bravo, to the both of you as your melted words have intertwined my smile.

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much my friend, you've made me smile with your kind words...I'm sure Mel will smile as well when she sees it :)

[Keith]

Lots of soul in that, the very concept of two sad poets comforting each other in the rain.

[kublakhan27]

Funny thing is we hardly talked about a concept even as were writing it, we just kind of let it write itself and this is probably a natural theme for two writers who've never worked together before...thanks Keith :)

[Keith]

It worked well, amazing!

[Strider Marcus Jones]

A fine collaboration. 97/100

[kublakhan27]

Glad you enjoyed it, thank you my friend.

[MsJewel]

A gorgeous blending of words. It is impossible to tell this was written by two poets, which is what really makes a great collab for me. I love the soft flow of your words and the images and emotions you have created are lovely. I hope to read more by you two!

:) Julie

[kublakhan27]

So glad you enjoyed it my friend...we really wanted to put something together that would make it tough to distinguish who wrote which parts haha We haven't talked about encores yet but I imagine it'll come up at some point in the future...thank you Julie :)

[MsJewel]

You are very welcome. I write with a partner on this site Trace - You may want to check out our collabs sometime. He has quite a few posted on his page. :) Julie

[kublakhan27]

I'll certainly have to check those out sometime, I'll try to make it soon :)

[ms. barrie]

What an amazing collaboration you and Mel came up with, Mr.K.! Wonderful use
in the choice of words both you and Mel came up with. i love every line penned in this poem!
This is a very unique, poignant write. written with eloquent brilliance. Great job on both of your
Parts! Thanks for sharing :)
~ Barrie Joy

[kublakhan27]

So glad you enjoyed it my friend, we had a great time doing it and spent a lot of time tinkering with it as well...we even dwelt on the order of the stanzas for a while haha Thank you Barrie :)

[ms. barrie]

You're very welcomed, Steve, both you and Mel's genius & hard work definitely
Shines through out this write :)

[Riding the Rainbow]

really good piece, my friend..
well done!

[kublakhan27]

Glad you enjoyed it, thanks so much :)