SWALLOWED STANZAS (VII-VIII)

09 18 13

VII.

Smooth fire on the water summons Autumn's contradiction

Colours splash the scenery and blur the Summer into fiction

No more hues of blues and yellows, orange and red will soon prevail

and my tongue will burn the snowflake's sad impression of the hail

VIII.

White glitter mingles with the grey like grains of sand

in the hippie's holdout lamp resigned to angled ceiling's reprimand

If I popped the cork and downed the psychedelic juice

what degree of swallowed murder would the lava law induce?

Author's Note

I to VI: http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/kublakhan27/1222723/

Reviews

[writing mojo]

these written seasons are out of this wold! Such planetary misalignment, and in your beautiful foreign foliage spaced out, then, came upon the poet to write it's empirical landscape, screaming a flood of star dander, just to scratch the echoing surface to be understood...great piece

[kublakhan27]

I thank you immensely for the support my friend. I always enjoy reading your takes on my work and how eloquently you express them.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Autumn's contradiction -- love this turn of phrase.

Both of these stanzas are wrought with imagery and metaphor. I love the little nuances of your language choice, and the way that you juxtapose images.

If I popped the cork and downed the psychedelic juice
what degree of swallowed murder would the lava law induce? -- wow...impressively clever.

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Sarah, it's always interesting to go back to this sequence from the beginning and try to remember the state-of-mind I was in when I wrote each stanza...whenever I extend this piece I usually write two stanzas at a time, and try to give to each one their own identity...so glad you enjoyed them.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

"Colours splash the scenery and blur the Summer into fiction."This line has a great and effective play with words. I love your style of writing. The title of this poem also is very intriguing, and unique. You are a skilled poet. Cheers! :x

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much Blue :) x

[Laminators Dubai]

GLITTERS!
awesome!
a enjoyable write with psyco...cool.

[kublakhan27]

Haha I'm glad you enjoyed that element...thank you glitch :)

[Plume de flamme]

Both of these rock. Really, two great poems here, but the autumn one is fantastic. So hard to find a new take on an autumn poem and you have done so.

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Plume, I'm glad you enjoyed them...the changing of the seasons is an obsession of mine, and it usually finds a way to pervade my writings on a regular basis.

[Pryde Foltz]

First off, don't drink the lava lamp. I quite like both of these but if I were to pick a fave it would be the first. There are a lot of great fall poems floating about; this may be my favourite--fantastic metaphors.

[kublakhan27]

Haha don't worry, I'm not that desperate yet...truth be told, I prefer the first one as well...in light of my aforementioned obsession with the seasonal cycle, it means a lot to know you enjoyed it so much...thank you Pryde.