ARJUNA AND KRISHNA TALK IT OVER

08 22 13

In the soft district that divides
ribcage and waist
his audacious arrows straddled
like a lover's sandpaper quintet
of fanned-out fingertips
He rode shotgun with a time-knighted
disc jockey unleashing flute-driven beats
in a call to invert the pairings-off of
passerbys on the verge
of merging dance and confrontation
(Who would not want to hang
with a deejay being
master welders of the senses
as they are?)
It was no solace to the soldier
who resented touch and
beatified it just the same
as the only guarantee of interaction
The destination of the pair bottomed out
beneath the incoming decibels  
of the blood-drunk congregation
up the road
Confidence eroded (or evolved?)
to conscientiousness
and his once-trusty aarows stamped
an attitude of itch on the reassuring
promise of a frontal lambaste
No longer was he sure
this was his kind of music
Can you play something softer
he inquired gingerly of his most
influential company
You don't cut a rug with a waltz
was the influential company's
incredulous reply
I don't wake as others do
An authentic messenger of beats
never fails to unlatch eye contact
with his flock of buzzing frolic
Soldiers uncork rival innards
and appeal to his still-solid rivals
to collect the bloody shells of
fallen brothers in arms
for a dignified burial
Hey that's no way to say goodbye
in my philosophy
nor is it any way to wake
You signed up for liberation
and you liberate the guts
and I celebrate the loss
It was the soldier's turn
for incredulity
You fancy this a party?
Look at all these drunken sheep
with livers lubricated by the film
of confrontation
Heaven help the ones who brought weapons
or should heaven help the ones without?
Heaven will applaud them all
said the mirrorball minstrel
in a sanguine oath of casualty
polishing a plate for the vinyl
party laying on his favourite flute-and-drum remix
Get a load of these inebriated blood fiends
Some will fight and some will faint
and some will scar themselves with a lover's taint
but they all will fall and wake
in the name of merriment
A slaughter you yourself
enshawled in party invitations
is a party whether you defined it
in reverse internally or not
Some will eat and drink and will be merry
and tomorrow morning some
(having danced away the notion of a night)
will die but those who do will win heaven
while the solid ones who mourn
shall live the dream of heaven
making that inevitable pilgrimage
all the merrier
A real pity they won't wake as I do
A bummer actually
A techno-flavoured jazz fusion
mix of synthesized woodwinds and tribal beats
synchronized the soldier's ears with
inherited charisma
Turning to his hip companion
he unsheathed his bow
eyed the shine of his unblunted triangles
on the black circle and declared instinctively
Speed the b*****d up

Author's Note

Inspired by Books One and Two of the Bhagavad-Gita (or simply The Gita), an epic Sanskrit poem (c. 300 B.C.) that forms a part of the sacred Hindu scriptures. To preserve the interpretative elements of my own adaptation, I will NOT be providing a synopsis here, except to say this section of the scripture is comprised mostly of a conversation between Pandava prince Arjuna and his guide Lord Krishna on various theological and philosophical issues.

Now excuse me while I go take an Advil.

Reviews

[Kleio13]

Damn this was hot.
"his audacious aarows straddled
like a lover's sandpaper quintet
of fanned-out fingertips
He rode shotgun with a time-knighted
disc jockey unleashing flute-driven beats"
I also feel that there is a sense of war and lack of appreciation that you feel.
I feel it too when I give myself to someone and they take mefor granted as well as when i dont give myself to someone. I like this and the style

[kublakhan27]

You've nailed it haha There is definitely war and a lack of appreciation in here among the spicier bits...I'm glad you could relate even though it's for sad reasons, thank you Kleio.

[Kleio13]

Anytime Kubby. And that's awesome. I love your works. Too bad you live in Canada, or too bad that I live in America

[kublakhan27]

Amen to that Kleio, the distance is definitely a bummer x_x

[JordanLane]

This made me invision that the bhagavad-gita had been written at a dubstep show and the author took too much molly not exactly the most appealing scene to me thankfully it was well written

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Jordan.

[Kenneth The Poet]

A love poem about a collapsing universe, or was that Shiva?

[kublakhan27]

A bit of both actually haha

[Riding the Rainbow]

very good!!!
well done:==))))
I really liked it..

[kublakhan27]

Glad you enjoyed it my friend, thank you :)

[Robbie~xoxo~]

Where do I begin?...this is a plethora of intense emotions conveying the complexities of war...
You have painstakingly pitched a tent (no pun intended) lol... your unwavering context stood by their convictions...Bravo!

I felt this to be a heavy theme to take on, and you wrote this with a tenacity of a champ!!

"You signed up for liberation
and you liberate the guts
and I celebrate the loss
It was the soldier's turn
for incredulity
You fancy this a party?
Look at all these drunken sheep
with livers lubricated by the film
of confrontation
Heaven help the ones who brought weapons
or should heaven help the ones without?"~~ Way to write your own adaption!!...BRILLIANT PIECE!~xoxo~:)

[kublakhan27]

Thank you love :) I knew I was treading deep water when I decided to take on this concept but once the idea came to mind there was just no turning back haha I'm so glad and relieved that I was able to offer up an adaptation that was accessible to the reader and not self-indulgent on my part...I had no idea how this one would be received or if I even liked it myself, but it is starting to grow on me ;) Thanks again my dear for the kind words, love ya *hugs* :)

[Robbie~xoxo~]

Well for what it's worth, you did a great job, Sweetie. (((hugs))love you too :)

[kublakhan27]

Coming from you it's worth everything ;) Thank you Robbie (((hugs))) :)

[Robbie~xoxo~]

always a pleasure...x

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I read the entire Bhagavad-Gita while in college...and it was A LOT to get through--a true epic. Your piece is in the same vein; an epic exploration of self in a modern form. I see little hidden gems here that relate back to (what I remember) of the written text, but you have brought this into the light of our own world in an unusual way. For me, the flow of this one is quite interesting, because it sort of floats along and then there are sections where the lines jump a little, but for me, that made the reading more interesting--what I'm trying to say is that I like the form and flow. You are a craftsman of words, my friend. I will be shelving this one and reading it again...

[kublakhan27]

I actually had no experience with the Gita till a week ago, but once I read the first two books the idea for this concept came to me and there was no turning back after that...I'd go on to read and reread those books many times over the course of writing this haha I didn't start with the intention of a narrative-style piece but it took on that identity before too long...I might have had Robert Frost in my subconscious as he wrote in this style a lot...I wasn't sure how this one would be received for many reasons, so I'm glad and a bit relieved that you liked the flow and the presentation...it has come to grow on me personally and I'm fairly proud of it now, so I'm happy that I was able to reach out to you with it to this extent and bring back some memories in the process...thank you for the review and insights my friend.

[Pryde Foltz]

There's real theatrical value to this piece. I think would be best felt spoken and even acted out. Think about expanding it to a one-act. Lots of great lines.

[kublakhan27]

I actually started thinking about that once I got into the writing in earnest...I may have been inspired subconsciously by Robert Frost who wrote a lot of these narrative-style poems...I'm quite fond of the spoken-word idea but I'd love to hear it done by someone else to see how it would be interpreted...glad you liked it Pryde, thank you.

[Pryde Foltz]

I did see … of course now … it is all coming back to me. Yeah … that DJ line surely stuck with me. Great work, Steve.

[kublakhan27]

Haha Must have been a Canadian subconscious thing ;) Thank you Pryde.

[Ravyne Hawke]

The title of this caught my attention, as I have studied the Gita and the Mahabharata many times. I will tell you straight up, I feared that this would be a mockery of the Gita. Not that I think you deliberately mock things, it was just an internal fear and I do hope you forgive me that moment. What I found, however, as I read is an amazing poem. I could visualize perfectly Arjuna and Lord Krishna on that chariot with all this wild and crazy music going on around them as Lord Krishna attempted to tell Arjuna about his place in war, his duties and his responsibilities. I could see Arjuna's bow strung back, his arrow steadied and ready to attack his enemies.. be they rival djs or soldiers. Excellent work here, kublakan. This will definitely find its place among my favorites.

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much Lori...just as you were afraid of the poem being a mockery, I was a little afraid that it would be interpreted as such, but I can assure you I would never mock any religious scripture of any kind, and I'm glad you were able to come to that conclusion as made your way through the piece...if anything I wanted to bring more attention to it, so I guess this was my way of just modernizing it a little, and with Krishna often being linked to music - the flute in particular - I thought the deejay metaphor would be a good way to go...I'm also grateful for getting an assessment from someone who was familiar with the scriptures, just to find out if I was on the right or wrong track...so glad you enjoyed it and consider it a favourite...thanks again for the review and the insight :)

[Ravyne Hawke]

you are most welcome, dear.. It is well done and I enjoyed the modernization..

[Rita L. Sev]

I have limited knowledge of the Gita, but I think you have given some great phrases to ponder here, a conversation of epic proportions.

You don't cut a rug with a waltz
was the influential company's
incredulous reply

Now that is for sure... I'll be looking in on this dance again, K - I think this one needs a few reads to get it all...

[kublakhan27]

Haha So did I until I came across the poem that inspired it, and it took more than a few reads of that to get this piece to where it was...it was hardly an overnight project haha But I didn't want to give too much away in my notes cuz I wanted to leave it open to interpretation and not limit it to the scripture itself...heck, I still need to read my poem a few times for it to sink in ;P Thank you my friend :)