ONE LINE

08 21 13

A symphony of sighs
is the first line that came to me
followed by one page of
murdered gibberish
followed by a second page of
murdered gibberish
followed by a third page
invading an ill-fated fourth page
with the puncture
of a page-encompassing black X
So it's back to the symphony of sighs
hushing galleries of cries
like a falling tree in an
uninhabited forest
How does one go about
wanting to make sense
and not wanting any part of the senses
at the same time?

Author's Note

A rubbish day deserves a rubbish write I guess...captcha: overseer, if that means anything

Reviews

[Kenaz]

Haha, I searched through your poems trying to find ones that I could understand fully. Your vocabulary is astounding, which I suppose is to be expected given your education. This poem is no exception to the other wonderful pieces you have written. I laugh at the beginning because this piece reminds me of how I feel when I write an academic paper. My ideas start so strong and then dissipate. Then I continue to murder the original idea with unoriginal, meaningless blather. Good writing my friend...

[kublakhan27]

I can relate to that for sure. Even though this was a fairly spur-of-the-moment piece written in the frustration of writer's block, I know just where you're coming from in terms of writing papers. Perhaps a bit of that was lurking in my subconscious when I wrote it. Many thanks for the kind words, they are much appreciated.

[Angi]

I have page after page with big black x's slashed across them. Those last four lines! Oh Steve, that is the frickin' question, man! Ha! I relate. I really, truly do. Angi~

[kublakhan27]

Haha so glad you like it Angi...the irony of this one getting so much good feedback is murderous cuz I still consider it to be nothing more than frustrated ramblings...I just hope your black X's are not as deep as mine if you know what I mean ;P The last bit is probably my equivalent of a moment of clarity haha Thanks again my friend, so glad you could relate :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

oh yes, it is like this...

such a good start, the poem is going to go into the poetry hall of fame...4 great lines and then....into the hall of shame as it falls apart...

the rest just doesn't come...

well done...you wrote something we can all relate to...i have written tons of junk...even the junkman in the pick up truck wants nothing to do with it, it is so bad.

[kublakhan27]

Well I was really depressed when I wrote it and I tried to capture it in the heat of the moment, and I've never been good at writing in the heat of the moment, but as irony would have it, I think I captured the mindset anyway in a backwards way...it never occurred to me that so many of you would relate to it, so the frustration was well worth it...thank you Jacob.

[Rita L. Sev]

Some days it seems that there are no words to say it exactly how it feels, and so every word we write seems like gibberish. Making sense of the senses - when the senses don't make sense... You have said rather eloquently what the artist goes through in the process of creating. That one line that is just right... perhaps today was not its turn... Here's to tomorrow. I like this piece, K - not for the frustration you clearly felt in the writing, but for the kinship it evokes.

[kublakhan27]

I love this review my friend, it's more poetic than the poem in question ;) You've probably known me long enough now to have at least a hunch regarding my mood issues, and I'm still trying to pick my spirit up after what went down this morning and trying to write in the heat of the moment, which I've never been good at...but I am consoled by the fact that it's something that other writers can relate to, hopefully not with my temperament though haha...you're right, tomorrow is another day, and so I wait...thank you Rita for this thoughtful review :)

[Rita L. Sev]

You're welcome, K - You are wise to write in any moment - and to read uplifting pieces when you need a boost. :)

[kublakhan27]

Haha I do my best, my friend :)

[B-poet]

An interesting & creative write. Loved the brevity you've displayed here so distinctively. Great work. A fine write & read. :)

[kublakhan27]

What can I say, it was a brevity kind of day haha Glad you liked it B :)

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

You know, I can't tell you how often this happens to me. I'll write and get a few good lines and then the following lines are all "rubbish" or "jibberish"...I have four windows open right now with poems that have about one good stanza each. lol You write of the writers plight in this piece so very well. I can completely relate...

[kublakhan27]

You are way ahead of the game as it pertains to me my friend haha Multitasking has never been my strong suit...I absolutely have to work on one poem at a time...if I try to do, say, three at once, I get three times more frustrated...and this poem will tell you what the frustration of just one piece does to me...let's hope you don't have my temper haha This poem was really just a byproduct of a bad day for me...bipolar came to visit over the weekend and it's really starting to overstay its welcome...but maybe I got some stuff off my chest with it...I'll find out tonight when I go back to that one piece I'm currently working on...having said all that, I'm glad there was enough substance in this piece for you to relate to it...thank you as always for you understanding, my friend.

[Frieda P]

You managed to make a spectacular something out of rubbish nothing....hmmm, you paint like Dali, with a madman's brush....but I quite enjoy the sounds of symphony's sighs....!

[kublakhan27]

Haha thank you my dear...this is what happens when I try to write off the cuff without Smirnoff while trying to fend off depression at the same time...I've come to dig that Dali comparison though ;)

[Frieda P]

Seems to me you don't need the demon alcohol to be brilliant Benji...you tortured artiste you! My pleasure always. ;-)

[kublakhan27]

Haha maybe not, it just feels like it today love ;)

[Jack...]

I've had days like this, they all seem to end in "Y". Just the right amount of nothing comes from your words today to make it really something. "There's a little black spot on the sun today"

[kublakhan27]

I could say the same my friend...I could probably write one of these everyday but it wouldn't do me or anyone else any good...I'm sure I wouldn't be the only one to have these days, it just doesn't feel like that in your own mind...king of pain, that's me...