SWALLOWED STANZAS (V-VI)

Parts I-IV included below. 07 15 13 - 08 14 13

V.

Ice cream headache of humidity ensues
A metropolis of flavours soil my tongue with backward blues
for my cream is in my inkwell and my ice is in my pen
I would rather eat the summer green than grow an oxymoron glen

VI.

Freeze-frame my incendiary tendencies
if you will.  Think of them as literary tapestries
helpless in their waterproof array of consequential thirst
Paper in my presence can be burned or can be good as cursed

-----

I.

Brimstone sentiments accrue between my ears
Infernos of intent evaporate the frazzled tears
I was collecting for a pool of solace in which I could dip
my flaming head when hot environments unlocked my frozen lip

II.

Sometimes I think my stomach imitates a salt mine
when I swallow the prescribed advice on which I daily dine
Nightly I receive the water from the serpent glass I swear
is filled by no one but replenished by sin vapors hiding in my air

III.

Lip balm loopholes agree with my unworthy fingers
on the manner in which solemn moods impale lipstick bringers
but with nothing keen to paint with, bluntness is my only hope
though the words are always sharper than the shiniest erection scope

IV.

Incense shivers up its spiny stairway to the air
circulates a coat of cloud and hits the highway of my hair
I can rip a wafting route into a rash of tributaries
and apply a sigh of smog to each commute and breathe obituaries

Reviews

[quixotic_rose]

SERIOUSLY, ARE YOU SERIOUS! REALLY! It's just the ultimately unique way you word things that makes them all the more inherently awesome. I can't take it anymore, you are just one hell of a writer and the awesomeness you bestow upon me in your readings is just too much to digest. I just want to take your words and eat them. no matter how creepy that may sound to you or anyone else. They are just so divine. the way you just take a phrase and turn it to your wish is just so amazing. Honestly, I wish I could write like you.

[kublakhan27]

Haha I love what you said about eating my words, that brought a smile to my face. I think you also made me blush a bit with your praise here :) I am humbled beyond description by your support and your kind words. It took me many years to get where I'm at now, and still I am insecure upon completing every piece I write. I never know how relate-able they will be. But you've set my mind at ease considerably, and left me speechless really :) This is one of the coolest reviews I've ever gotten. Thank you so much :)

[quixotic_rose]

well. I speak the truth, those years were very worth it

[Dana Alsamsam]

your writing has grown so much it's lovely to be witness to it :)

in number five these lines really stood out to me:
"for my cream is in my inkwell and my ice is in my pen
I would rather eat the summer green than grow an oxymoron glen"
so amazing, natural and free flowing off the tongue. very clever with your language use and that little switch between the ice cream and the ink!

in number six i love the way you use your line breaks. i'm impressed :)

[kublakhan27]

You humble me with your kind words Dana...it means so much to know that I'm able to reach out to someone with my words on such a deep level...thank you :)

[Dana Alsamsam]

never a problem :)

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Lovely addition... I am always enchanted by your imagery, and that truly shows in these two new stanzas. As read with the entire piece, the imagery here is perhaps the strongest, though I do feel that there was a bit of a change in "emotion" in the new stanzas that gives the piece a little different spin. I liked it, though. My favorite of the new stanzas was the first--"ice cream headache of humidity" was fantastic in terms of a sensory image. I always enjoy reading your work :)

[kublakhan27]

This has evolved into a bit of a running project...it started with the first two stanzas with no intention of going any further, but a lot of people insisted I keep it going, so I added the third and fourth earlier this year, with these two most recent ones coming in the last month...I now try to revisit it once every season, and I'm sure that's where the emotional turn came from...this piece has become a pretty good gauge of my frame of mind and how it does indeed alter with the seasons...I don't think the two new ones are as strong as the previous four, but it is me in my rawest voice, and needless to say, I'm happy that I was able to keep you compelled even in this raw state...it's been an eventful summer for me, more eventful than most people on here know, and way too eventful than I would have liked...but anyways I'm rambling now haha Thank you Sarah, for being so supportive and sympathetic to my work...it means everything :)

[Pryde Foltz]

Oh the b*****d self criticism. Phenomenal write. Loved the ice-cream imagery.

[kublakhan27]

I think it's more about self-esteem with me...my insecurity is relentless, and it's only the support of my friends here that keeps it at bay...so glad you enjoyed it, thank you Pryde.

[Pryde Foltz]

From I read, as poet you have no reason to be insecure and as a frequent reviewer of my poetry, you are tremendously giving and supportive. You have a lot of reasons to have esteem for yourself. So quit talking trash about me friend. lol.

[kublakhan27]

Haha thank you my friend...your kind words go a long way :)

[Pryde Foltz]

Naht a problem.

[K. Louis]

unique images throughout...I really enjoyed part IV.

[kublakhan27]

Thank you K, so glad you liked it^^

[K. Louis]

You're welcome!

[Frieda P]

You leave me speechless Benji...I don't know where to start honestly. You are the master of imagery, even if it is abstract in its disposition, I still get the feel for it. One amazing stanza after the other....and pfft, you said you weren't going to publish these! Genius never knows its own capabilities I guess.

Brimstone sentiments accrue between my ears
Infernos of intent evaporate the frazzled tears
I was collecting for a pool of solace in which I could dip
my flaming head when hot environments unlocked my frozen lip

A pool of solace...I love that stanza, I love them all, you've done a stellar piece of work here to add to your Swallowed collection. Brilliant my friend! x

[kublakhan27]

If you could only see the big goofy grin on my face right now Mrs.R ;P Any popularity this piece obtains can be attributed largely to you, as it was really your insistence that compelled me to post them...words cannot do justice to how much it means to "hear" you say those things...thank you love, really :) xox

[Frieda P]

Well you know I"m never going to let you live it down either, Mrs R knows best...;-) It's all you hon, you have no idea how talented you truly are...it's nice to humble but take a bow Benji! xo

[kublakhan27]

I have no doubts on that Mrs.R ;) *takes a sheepish bow, and quick enough so as to go unnoticed...seriously* ;P xo

[Ravyne Hawke]

This is some amazing writing! Your imagery, rhyme and rhythm are brilliantly done. I like the overall theme of things Swallowed or could be swallowed. I could pick out favorite lines, but then I would just be putting your whole poem on here.. ha! Really enjoyed this!

[kublakhan27]

So glad you enjoyed it, your kind words mean a great deal...thank you Lori :)

[B-poet]

Loved the numbered stanza format. Creatively profound, unique & witty. Great work. A solid piece of cleverly written brilliance. :)

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much B, I greatly appreciate your kind words :)

[Rita L. Sev]

This is an amazing series of stanzas, K. Your rhyming is superb, and adds to the rhythm of the piece, but it is the unique imagery that stand out here.

Ice cream headache of humidity ensues... - can't help but think that this has something to do with your aversion to summer heat...

I could take a line from each as a standout, but really, the whole poem is wildly impressive! Into my favorites...

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much my friend :) Personally I think the new parts are a little weaker than the first four but maybe that's just my insecurity talking, or that aversion to summer heat that you've alluded to ;) The omnipresence of heat and humidity is most certainly no coincidence...I tend to revisit this piece every season so who knows what turn it'll take in future months should I choose to go back to it haha So glad to hear it's a favourite...thanks for the support as always :)